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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell SIL she can't bring whole of DH's family inc. somebody I've never met round to meet 6 day old DS?

50 replies

toomanyshoes · 28/12/2007 16:37

Gave birth to DS 6 days ago (baby number 2) and told both families that they were welcome to visit in hospital but only 2 at a time. My parents came but DH's sisters, brother and mum were all too busy with Xmas so said they'd come after xmas to see us at home.
MIL came last night after DH went to collect her (she lives 20 mins away) and paid for a cab home. She didn't ask how I was, how birth was etc. She also told me DS has a big nose! he is obviously perfect so this is not true!
Today SIL phoned to say she was coming over and bringing her husband and 2 kids plus my other SIL and a cousin from overseas who DH and I have never met. She also said this cousin is in the early stages of pregnancy and has had a bleed this morning so she thinks she is miscarrying. SIL is taking her to EPU then planning to come directly from there to our house!
I think this is hugely insensitive to the cousin, I would not want to visit a strangers newborn in these circumstances. Also, I am breast feeding constantly and don't want hordes of people round here when I have my engorged norks out! I told DH to say no and that SIl, her husband and kids could come today but other sister in law had to come another day. i also said I didn't want anybody I don't know here at the mo. DH has agreed and told her but she is v pissed off and so far has not turned up at all.
Do you think i am being unreasonable? Tell the truth, I can take it...

OP posts:
JodieG1 · 28/12/2007 16:38

YANBU at all.

pyjamagirl · 28/12/2007 16:38

Yanbu at all very rude of your sil IMO

Congrats BTW

KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 28/12/2007 16:39

YANBU for gods sake even Mary got a rest between the Shepard's and the kings.

flamingtoaster · 28/12/2007 16:39

Congratulations - you are definitely not being unreasonable.

NKF · 28/12/2007 16:40

I can't imagine a woman having a miscarriage would want to visit a new born baby. Personally I don't think you are being unreasonable. I think when you have a small baby, people should turn up bearing delicious meals and hold the baby while you have a shower and tell you that you look fantastic and then mop your kitchen floor before vanishing. Don't worry about it.

FlllightAttendant · 28/12/2007 16:40

YANBU!!!!!!

MrsWeasleysmagicmincepies · 28/12/2007 16:41

you are NOT being unreasonable at all.

Bloody cheek and how awful for the cousin! your sil is a monster.

Oh and congratulations on the baby.

NKF · 28/12/2007 16:41

Congratulations. Forgot to mention that.

Weegle · 28/12/2007 16:42

YANBU at all. Ignore, you do't even need to give it thought.

Congratulations!

funnypeCOOLYULEiar · 28/12/2007 16:43

Congratulations, and of course YANBU. And agree that your cousin may not be that keen to be around new baby (although lots of people bleed in early pg without miscarrying...)

KIMIfullofhopefor2008 · 28/12/2007 16:44

NKF where were you when I had my babies????

toomanyshoes · 28/12/2007 16:45

thank you ladies! PMSL about Mary getting a rest! Wasn't sure if I was being a cow as I am not mad keen on SIL at best of times and thought it might be clouding my judgement. She is the type who buys you parenting manuals as a gift! She is currently trying to get me to potty train DD and got all his family to buy the poor child knickers for Xmas
Will wait and see if she appears and if she bothers to ask how I am or just ignores me...

OP posts:
WanderingHolly · 28/12/2007 16:46

YANBU

You would be perfectly reasonable to tell them all to feck kindly off until New Year, imo.

Your SIL sounds like a treasure

micegg · 28/12/2007 16:51

YANBU. Some people are just very selfish at times like this. You are qute right to stand your ground.

kerala · 28/12/2007 16:51

YANBU at all.

And congratulations.

My inlaws turned up 2 days after I got out of hospital after an emergency c section and got huffy because I hadnt cooked them lunch...

MaLopez · 28/12/2007 17:10

YANBU. If they turn up, hide in the room. Had loads of friends over after my emergency CS and one dear friend took one look at me and told everyone to leave

@Kerala. I hope you poisoned them. Cooking 2 days after an emergeny CS!

warthog · 28/12/2007 17:24

yanbu

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 28/12/2007 17:35

YA so NBU

Congrats on the baby.

Magrat · 28/12/2007 17:38

congratulations

you're right

they're wrong

it'll blow over

LOVEMYMUM · 28/12/2007 17:50

You have TOTALLY done the right thing.

SIL needs to be put in her place. My in-laws are very kind but this is the kind of thing i'm scared they're going to do "cos it's the right thing to do". Will tell them to ring before they come round (due end Feb).

Am pleased that DH is backing you up.

boHOHOhemianbint · 28/12/2007 17:52

YANBU!

Freckle · 28/12/2007 17:56

YANBU but you are being a little shortsighted. You should have said that only people who are prepared to bring a full 3 course meal with them for your whole family and make the tea whilst they are here are welcome. Anyone else can go hang. That should sort out the slackers

bossybritches · 28/12/2007 18:19

nice one freckle!!

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 28/12/2007 18:24

YANBU - I agree with the poster who said your SIL is a monster! Might be a slight exaggeration but then again...

Honestly what is wrong with these people - a few years ago some good friends of ours had their first baby - they live a good couple of hours drive away so we couldn't just pop in and out so we rang and said could we visit and bring lunch. Which we did. Months later they told us we were the only people to think to do that. With the honourable exception of her mum and dad all their other visitors sat around and waited to be bought tea and biscuits!

armyofme · 28/12/2007 18:30

definitely not unreasonable at all...