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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to understand why my face looks so awful in pictures??

140 replies

Tryagainplease · 23/01/2022 14:24

Lighthearted!

I don’t think I look too bad when I look in the mirror. In fact, when I make an effort and put a bit of make up on I actually think I have quite a nice face. But I have never ever in my whole life seen a picture of myself where I think I look good.

Seriously, the few times I have attempted to take a selfie have made me quite depressed with me asking myself “ugh, is that really my face? Do I really look that bad to other people”

I don’t lose any sleep or anything over it but… what is the deal??

OP posts:
iloverock · 23/01/2022 14:27

Yes me. I look awful in selfies or any photos really.
What does help is putting phone onto portrait mode. It's much better.

Juanmariaramierz · 23/01/2022 14:28

I am exactly the same...hence the reason I hate having someone taking my picture....it makes me look as if I have a big fat face when I don't...I don't even do facetime calls as it means I can see myself....

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 23/01/2022 14:28

Me too

jacqelinedaniels · 23/01/2022 14:28

I feel your pain! I have this exact thing. Never go out anymore but when I did, would get ready at home and think I looked pretty good, the mirror seemed to say anyway, and then if anyone took a pic of us or selfies or anything I’d be horrified by what I actually looked like and how different from the person I thought left the house that evening 😭 Was petrified for my wedding photos and while there are many I dislike there are at least a couple where I think I look nice. So that’s something. But seriously it’s so annoying. Hate photos 😫

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 23/01/2022 14:29

Some people I know are so photogenic. They look way better in photos than in real life. I'm the opposite

Mushrooms0up · 23/01/2022 14:29

I read somewhere it’s because photos are the other way round to how we look in a mirror (I.e. mirrors are reversed) so when you see a photo you look ‘off’ and don’t like it.

You’ll definitely look fine to everyone else

AntAndDecking · 23/01/2022 14:30

I think it’s the mirror image thing which is probably worse if your face is asymmetrical, like mine. I hate all pictures of myself.

AntAndDecking · 23/01/2022 14:30

^x post.

Isababybel · 23/01/2022 14:31

I am the same, my face and jaw are so wide and hideous in selfie mode to the point its literally embarrassing ConfusedBlush

mistermagpie · 23/01/2022 14:34

@Mushrooms0up

I read somewhere it’s because photos are the other way round to how we look in a mirror (I.e. mirrors are reversed) so when you see a photo you look ‘off’ and don’t like it.

You’ll definitely look fine to everyone else

I think it's this too, but if I look nice in the mirror and awful in pictures - what are other people seeing? The 'mirror' me or the 'photo' me? I can't really work it out!

There's a girl I work with, she's perfectly fine looking in real life but very plain, you wouldn't look twice at her (lovely person, I'm talking only about looks). I'm friends with her on Facebook though and in photos she looks absolutely stunning! I don't think it's that she takes millions to get one nice one or something either, because I've seen loads of photos of her, candid and posed, dressed up and down, and she looks equally amazing in all of them. I assume she's just really really photogenic.

Grapewrath · 23/01/2022 14:34

The phone camera shows you your real self in a way.. because the mirror is obviously a mirror image BUT it can also distort you due to the lens
I always look wonky in photos but when I point it out to people they think it’s just what I look like?! Quite upsetting really
I think some of us are photogenic and done aren’t. I have friends who look great in pics but are just ordinary in real life. I also have friends who are very pretty but don’t look great in photos

Neolara · 23/01/2022 14:35

Me too. It's depressing.

Original poster
Tryagainplease · 23/01/2022 14:36

The proportions of my face in the mirror look ok - but on pics it looks totally asymmetrical. One eye bigger than the other, tiny crooked mouth and big nose.
I didn’t even like any of my wedding pics!

Glad it’s not just me at least!

I also tried portrait mode. Was just as bad 🤣

OP posts:
Wiredforsound · 23/01/2022 14:43

It’s because you’re used to seeing your face in a mirror. That is a reversed image of you. Because faces are rarely symmetrical, a photo, which is a real image (not a reverse) of your face your features aren’t quite where you expect them to be. Think of it terms of holding text up to a mirror (it will be reversed and therefore difficult to read) versus taking a photo (not reversed but as you see it in real life).

You are neither uglier or better looking one way or another, it’s just that you are used to looking at your features in a mirror and it is discordant to your brain when you see your non mirror image in a photo.

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 23/01/2022 14:44

Even if I reverse photos they look awful

murasaki · 23/01/2022 14:47

Me too. My nose seems to wander to the left in a way it doesn't in the mirror. I hate photos.

hangrylady · 23/01/2022 14:49

I always think this. I'm so very unphotogenic (is that a word)? I think I look decent then see a photo and am horrified. I think I may have some sort of reverse body dismorphia, going round thinking I'm an absolute babe but actually with a face like a bag of spanners.

N0RKS · 23/01/2022 14:54

God, same here.
I am relatively bearable to look at when my face is moving about and talking and smiling, but as soon as a photo happens I turn into an old crone with lines and shadows and surprise lumps and blotches.

Pedalpushers · 23/01/2022 14:54

I think 'selfie mode' on a camera is also a mirror image, which is why I like selfies and think I look good/like I do in the mirror, but hate photos taken of myself.

However, the theory falls down when I look at someone ELSE in the mirror and they look exactly the same as they do in real life. Surely someone else's mirror image should create the same discordance?

Original poster
Tryagainplease · 23/01/2022 15:00

@hangrylady

I always think this. I'm so very unphotogenic (is that a word)? I think I look decent then see a photo and am horrified. I think I may have some sort of reverse body dismorphia, going round thinking I'm an absolute babe but actually with a face like a bag of spanners.
Haha, this really made me laugh! This is me too Grin
OP posts:
samthebordercollie · 23/01/2022 15:07

Maybe because most phones have super cameras that show every wrinkle, spot plus other imperfections and facial hair in far too much detail. My eyes at 56 are far less precise more forgiving when I look in the mirror!

JaneJeffer · 23/01/2022 15:11

When you look in the mirror you're probably fairly relaxed but when someone points a camera at you it can make you feel stressed so maybe that's part of it?

LefttoherownDevizes · 23/01/2022 15:14

I had to have headshots taken for a job and had a professional photographer in. We had a stand off, me saying I cannot take a good photo, him saying he could.

I won Sad

I have tried to 'practice' by taking loads of selfies and think it's actually made it worse

Juanmariaramierz · 23/01/2022 15:17

Does it help if you can put the filter mode on you're phone camera? Never done it but wonder if it helps.

Angrymum22 · 23/01/2022 15:18

A photo records your true image. Our brains filter the true image and correct symmetry. Everyone else also corrects the symmetry so don’t worry they see what you see in the mirror. You have to concentrate really hard to see mild asymmetry. Unfortunately severe asymmetry isn’t corrected by the brain.