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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel DS football lessons

62 replies

eyesbiggerthanstomach · 23/01/2022 13:27

My almost 4 year old DS attends Little Kickers on a Sunday. He enjoys the racing and warm up but hates the actual football parts! He started to enjoy it slightly but was moved up a class where they are more able and he keeps telling me he isn’t any good and doesn’t want to go and I have to hold his hand throughout.

I’m getting fed up of making the effort to go when he has no interested but I don’t want to send a message that giving up is acceptable.

I had hoped at the class they would teach him how to dribble etc but they give general guidance and I can tell the kids are practicing at home and have skills my DS doesn’t.

I live with him alone and can’t kick a ball to save my life.

If I let him quit, I also worry that he will never learn how to play football especially as I say, we don’t play at home. This could apply to any sport he tries as I don’t play tennis, cricket or rugby and I would like him to try them all.

AIBU to call it a day for now?

OP posts:
Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 23/01/2022 13:28

*no interest I mean

OP posts:
GrapefruitPink · 23/01/2022 13:29

If he's told you he doesn't want to go, stop.
He's 4, plenty time to learn to play football and pick it up again.

Sirzy · 23/01/2022 13:29

If he doesn’t want to learn football he doesn’t need to.

If he decides in a couple of years he wants to he can then.

TeenPlusCat · 23/01/2022 13:29

I say he's 3.
If he doesn't enjoy it, stop.

GrapefruitPink · 23/01/2022 13:30

3 even

Jeschara · 23/01/2022 13:30

No, he is 4, he does not have the intrest yet, he may later on.
You could take him for the remainder of the course and then not sign up again, then it will phase out naturally.

crochetandnatter · 23/01/2022 13:32

My rule is, if I’ve paid for a session you finish the session (baring any unforeseen circumstances obviously). I’ve also always tried to have dc involved in something that’s creative & a sport, plus swimming lessons. Many of the things they didn’t quite get on with at first, became hobbies and interests. Not all, my son never took to football. But I think it takes a bit of time. I imagine the session goes until Easter? I’d try hard to stick it out until then and then re-evaluate. Sometimes after a few weeks of anxiety over what they can’t do, they really come into their own.

Original poster
eyesbiggerthanstomach · 23/01/2022 13:32

Thanks all. Does this go for any clubs? I was thinking of signing him for clubs when he starts school. Do you find it’s best you let them try lots out and see which they show an interest in?

OP posts:
crochetandnatter · 23/01/2022 13:34

@eyesbiggerthanstomach could you chat to the person leading it? Maybe they could give him more support when it comes to the parts he doesn’t like?

Ozanj · 23/01/2022 14:02

It doesn’t seem like he’s not interested. It seems like he’s embarrassed that he isn’t as good as the other kids. I think before you give it up maybe try doing things at home like the other kids do. If needed ask the coach to give you tips. If after practice at home he still doesn’t want to do it then fair enough but letting him give up clubs because of embarrassment will lead to more of the same with other ones and maybe at school too.

Hankunamatata · 23/01/2022 14:06

Can he move back down a class? Or your try another class. Mine like rugby tots and gymnastics

Ozanj · 23/01/2022 14:06

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/01/2022 14:08

Why does he need to learn to play football? It's not an essential life skill. My 8yo DS doesn't know how to play football, he's not interested in it.

I must admit I don't get the whole angst over "giving up" hobbies, why do something non essential in life if you don't enjoy it? I don't participate in hobbies I don't like as an adult so why do we make children do it? My DS has tried various hobbies, I let him quit the ones he hasn't enjoyed. He's found a couple that he really likes and does regularly.

Figgygal · 23/01/2022 14:09

Its key they enjoy it id just knock it on the head and consider another activity
My youngest just started karate at 5 which we suggested to avoid another football obsessive like his brother and hes really enjoying it

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/01/2022 14:10

@Ozanj

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.
That's rubbish. My DS has no interest in football and has never had an issue making friends.
toomuchlaundry · 23/01/2022 14:11

He is still very young

fizzypop100 · 23/01/2022 14:12

Let him stop..if he's not enjoying it.
Maybe try indoor bouldering lessons? Kids love to climb

kierenthecommunity · 23/01/2022 14:13

I always asked my son to give things a go before giving up - so for example when he said he didn’t want to go dancing I said he’d need to finish the term at least. Just in case he was making the decision on an off day

But after that, if they still dont like it, why force them?

My son gave up football aged 9 - it was expensive, a PITA to get to, and while he enjoyed the exercise he was never mad about it. He has other activities that keep him fit so we decided to can it in favour of the classes he prefers.

Hankunamatata · 23/01/2022 14:14

@Ozanj

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.
Your sounding like one of those kids football club teams where they are totally ott that kids have to practise daily and have to be a certain skill level or they fail.

Utter madness.

Football should be fun at this age. All skill levels encouraged.

My kids never joined a team but still had a kick around at break and lunch times. Never had issues with friendships because of their lack of football skills or being on a team

00100001 · 23/01/2022 14:15

Why does he need to learn how to play football?
Confused

What makes you think he won't learn at playtime like 99% of kids do? It's not exactly a rare sport... If he likes it he'll play at school with the others, and if he shows an interest, send him to clubs then.

Better spending the LK money and time on swimming lessons or just fun swims tbh

waterrat · 23/01/2022 14:18

This is the modern problem...we think kids need lessons in playful activities. Op I totally understand how yoi feel but he isn't enjoying this. At 4 most of what he does will be best learnt by playing...and playing is when a child is choosing what they do ! And it is usually done with other children in a relaxed playful way. He will and can learn to play football just from being in groups of other children throughout his life.

I think we are tragically over formalising so much of what children are better of 'learning ' through natural play. A 4 Yr old really doesn't need lessons in dribbling.

GiveMeNovocain · 23/01/2022 14:20

My dd is older (10) and the only thing she has to do is school. I try to get her to finish the sessions I've paid for and that's it. It means she has to choose and be committed to carry on. It certainly hasn't made her a quitter. She's done most of her sports for years now and is at squad level for 2 of them. Let him give lots a go. He'll let you know what he enjoys and that's the best way to stick at it.

Dd gave up tots football but returned years later and played a match this morning. Plenty of time to return!

Talipesmum · 23/01/2022 14:24

Mine was the same, kind of - I realised when I was bribing him with food to “just go and do one kick” that it was silly, he was 3/4 yrs old, and we could give it a break. There’s loads of opportunities to start things a bit later on when he’s more ready. He’s still really little. Mine took up rugby age around 7. Perfect age, he was well up for it and took to it right away. There are also likely to be after school clubs where he can try things out (if that’s possible with childcare) and I’m sure he’d be able to start up again later on.

Selkiesarereal · 23/01/2022 14:38

Mine are a bit older and go to football training twice a week plus play matches. No one in my eldest’s friendship group play it though.

To be honest I want them out of it as I’ve witnessed some absolute horrors, from kids bullying each other on the pitch, parents swearing at little kids in the other teams, very competitive dads who think they are rearing the next Ronaldo. All of this was at the “fun” level where matches were not even competitive! Both are now at the competitive level and that added a whole other layer of problems, as now there might be scouts at the games (we are still in primary years) and now the competitive dads want their kids to be spotted so don’t take kindly if this doesn’t happen.

BridgeFarmKefir · 23/01/2022 14:41

We've taken DD3 to football, rugby and gymnastics. She's not been interested in any of them. She likes the warm up stuff but when it comes to actually playing/ participating she goes off and does her own thing. With swimming she enjoys it but doesn't really like being told what to do so we end up missing half the lesson.

We just try her at tasters every 6 months or so and are fairly sure something will stick one day. I'm keen she enjoys sport (I never did and it's not done me much good) but I'm also keen she has a natural enjoyment. If I force her to do activities she'll just resent them/ me.

He's three. Quit the lessons and see if he's interested again in 6-12 months. Doesn't sound like either of you enjoy it.