To cancel DS football lessons

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

My almost 4 year old DS attends Little Kickers on a Sunday. He enjoys the racing and warm up but hates the actual football parts! He started to enjoy it slightly but was moved up a class where they are more able and he keeps telling me he isn’t any good and doesn’t want to go and I have to hold his hand throughout.

I’m getting fed up of making the effort to go when he has no interested but I don’t want to send a message that giving up is acceptable.

I had hoped at the class they would teach him how to dribble etc but they give general guidance and I can tell the kids are practicing at home and have skills my DS doesn’t.

I live with him alone and can’t kick a ball to save my life.

If I let him quit, I also worry that he will never learn how to play football especially as I say, we don’t play at home. This could apply to any sport he tries as I don’t play tennis, cricket or rugby and I would like him to try them all.

AIBU to call it a day for now?

Mine went to Little Kickers from 18 months and gave it up recently at 4. I wanted her to go because I didn’t want her to grow up and have boys perceive she couldn’t play football if she wanted to. She did used to like it and was a pretty good shot if I do say so myself but it was getting harder as she got older, the boys (there were no girls in her group) were probably practising with their dads at home whereas my husband would kick a ball around with her but not try and ‘teach’ her, and the coaches started expecting things like passing to each other and waiting for the ball whereas before there used to be enough balls on the pitch for them all to run about and score with one. The last couple of sessions she wouldn’t even join in so I stopped it as I figured why waste my money? If she shows an interest when she’s a bit older I’ll look into signing her up somewhere again.

My older boys would sometimes ask to do things and then say they didn’t want to go after a couple of weeks. I did make them finish the term because often I knew they did enjoy it but were just being a bit lazy on occasions and couldn’t be bothered to get ready and go. They did one term of football because they were desperate to try it but both were quite pleased when the term was over though were quite proud they’d done the term’s course and got a trophy. Scouting they did from 6 until Covid put a stop to it, though on occasional weeks they’d ask to stop but never really meant it. They’ve found their real hobbies as they’ve got older and are now 13 and 14 and one does drama and the other parkour sessions when they’re on in holidays.

He's really little, I would stop the sessions for now, there is plenty of time. Kids can't be scared of trying new things for fear of being trapped in it forever. Finish the paid sessions.

He's a baby! If you are to sign him up for any sports when he starts school I recommend multi sports for the first year. I didn't even know you could do football club under 7, that was the minimum at my DD's club

He is FAR too young for this kind of thing. Just take a ball to the park and re-think when he's 7 if he is interested.

@Ozanj

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.

What a load of crap 🤣🤣🤣

Stereotypes mean people think boys who don't play football are socially isolated.

But there's approx 100 boys per year group at average secondary and I can assure you there aren't 500 kids playing football at lunchtime!

My ds swims. He's never liked football. He also autistic so finds socialising hard.

But not liking or playing football hasn't affected him.

Let him try different activities. If he likes football he'll play himself against a wall, do kick his etc. but he may not like it ever or may like it in a few years.

Why is giving up not acceptable if you don;t like something. If you started a hobby and found you didn't enjoy it would you continue indefinitely. That would be madness. What if someone else had chosen that hobby for you because they wanted you to be good at it - would you feel you had to continue doing it?

He's 3 - he's still learning what the world is all about, full of exciting new things some of which he will love and others he won't care about. He doesn't need to make commitments - he'll get enough of having to do that when he's a working adult !He doesn't need to play football, it's not a life skill.

And kids learn sports at school - my DS wasn't remotely interested in football but he learned rugby and hockey at school (an ordinary state comprehensive) and played both for the school and was very good.

Sports are meant to be fun, if they aren't fun they find another way to get exercise that is fun. You say he likes running and warming up - take him to the park or for walks and let him run to his hearts content. Take a ball with you if you want him to kick a ball and he can ask for it if he wants.

And when he gets to school there will be plenty of children who aren't interested in football and will want to play the things he likes.
He's a just a tiny boy still - let him find his own way.

He's tiny still relatively.

If he expeesses interest in something then let him try a few lessons or sessions. But if he doesn't like it then obviously stop.

Apart from swimming. Then has to do until can do it.

And reception is exhausting for most kids

Apart from swimming. Then has to do until can do it.
I agree with this but also think people start too young.
Mine started swimming lessons at 4 but in hindsight I would have been better waiting until 6 as they made snail pace progress for two years then just clicked in two weeks on holiday with us in the pool all day.

I wonder if it's a first child thing? Wanting them to reach milestones as early as possible and with unrealistic expectations.

And yes start swimming at 5/6 and they get it really quick

@Ozanj

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.

What a load of utter fucking bollocks.

The kids who like football will be playing it every single day at school anyway.

The kid having to be as "good as they need to be"? What does that even mean??

It's just BS marketing/propaganda to keep you invested in your child's "progress" to keep you coming back to LKs. Same reason things like dance schools want you to do grading etc, to get your kid (and you) invested and stay...

Better sending a kid to a local football club, run by Alfie's Dad at the local pitches on a Thursday after school and every Sunday have matches. That's the real grass roots football that the boys at school will be playing.

He’s 3.

With all due respect, chill out. If he’s upset then stop the classes. It’s supposed to be fun.

@Ozanj

Need to point out that I send my DS to LK too & the leader says it’s important for the parent who knows and enjoys football to accompany the child and practice between lessons. That’s me rather than DH. She said many kids end up with one parent accompanying by default and if they aren’t interested the child will never pick up the skills or be as good as they need to be. And football is often an important socialising activity for boys at primary AND secondary school (unless you send them to private) - so by not helping them get the most they can from sessions you might be hampering their chances to easily make friends etc.

Football can also be a major cause of nastiness between boys at primary school. As a friend of mine who is a TA in a local primary puts it, 'if there's ever any falling out amongst the boys, you can guarantee it'll be about football.'

Of course football can be amazing for kids but some football-mad boys can be really alpha male, aggressive and dismissive of anyone they perceive to be inferior. Not all of them, obviously, there are loads of lovely kids who play football - but there can be a definite link. Not to mention a link between football and awful behaviour from parents, as mentioned by another poster!

My older two boys have no interest in football whatsoever and have always had lovely friendships.

OP, your little one is 3, don't stress about it, take him out and find another activity. You are honestly not going to hamper his life chances.

He’s 3, it’s totally ok to quit a hobby you don’t like at 3.

My DS joined the local club in year 1 which seemed perfect, and plenty in his class are just starting to think about football a year later so your son has loads of time to consider different sports. Forcing him to do things he doesn’t enjoy won’t teach him not to quit, itl just teach him that he doesn’t like football

He is 3! If he wants to he can play football when he is older but maybe he wont - my son never wanted to play football, its not a disaster.

Not taking him anymore isnt giving up its just time to find a new activity. Most likely by the time your child finds the ones he likes best he will have tried a lot. Its perfectly reasonable to try a load of different activities for a term or so.

😂 At the idea boys need to play football to make friends. What nonsense.

@MiniatureHotdog

😂 At the idea boys need to play football to make friends. What nonsense.

Yep, talk about reinforcing gender stereotypes.

In my experience the boys who love football are the ones whose parent/s love it and support a team. My ex husband doesn't like football and nor do I so DS never got into it.

I’d definitely stop, he will play football at school or maybe he just won’t want to play football, all are fine. It’s a waste of money

Don't force any club on a child. Especially football.

He's still little OP. I have a super sporty 12yr old, he's never played football outside of school as he did rugby instead, plus athletics, cross country and swimming. He's now in Y8 and plays for the football A team at school, because his all round sporting ability, plus the fitness gained from running and swimming meant he picked it up easily once they started in school. He found there was a certain kudos in being in the football A team, so once he decided he wanted to be a part of that, he started playing every lunchtime with his football obsessed mates, plus started going to the after school football club. He's just as good, if not better, than many of the kids who have played outside school since they were 3. Let him try different sports at this age, he'll soon find his 'thing'.

My 8 year old has tennis lessons and doesn’t enjoy them any more. We’re going to stop at the end of this term.

I think it’s ok to teach your kids they can give up a hobby they don’t enjoy. Swimming, reading, school work, general exercise - those are things they can’t give up as they’re either required or pretty essential life skills.

He's so young. How would you feel if you had to go to a class because someone else felt you should or that it would be good for you and you had no interest ?

Maybe he'll develop an interest one day when he's older? Maybe not? You've randomly decided that football should be learned when most boys learn their football skills but practicing alone in the garden or around the house.

Neither of my boys had football lessons. They were invited to play football at break and lunch by the other boys because they are popular. They wouldn't score or save goals because they only play socially but they enjoy being included.

You say that you can't have a kickabout with him because you're rubbish and your son is just showing the same attitude. Even professionals were "rubbish" one day but they practiced and got better. It is no wonder that the kids who practice are further ahead. With some exceptions like swimming, many activities require practice in between sessions so whatever you pick next, you might want to consider that aspect.

Quitting something that you don't enjoy isn't going to create a quitter. Finding something he does enjoy will be priceless and should be ghetto primary objective of hobbies and clubs.

Oh goodness my 9 year old son has never played football in his life. He absolutely hates it but he has plenty of friends that he bonds with over Roblox, Mario and visiting castles. He also goes to Cubs. Not all boys like football!

Op please don't make him go if he does not enjoy it. If he enjoys the warm up this is something you two can do together either at home or in the park.

If he enjoys the racing part and the warm up, maybe he'd enjoy athletics? Where the focus is on racing and warming up? DS and DD both went to an all round athletics club at that age, they tried everything - sprinting, middle distance, long jump, high jump, javelin, the variety kept them interested.

Maybe you could watch some YouTube videos and train him a bit at home?