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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Are the doctors being unreasonable

29 replies

Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 19:44

Or is my partner/me

For the last few months he has had a massive lump on his abdomen. Its getting bigger. You can see it under his t shirt. Its now the size of half a rugby ball. He finally phoned the GP (typical man, doesn't want to bother them etc)

GP gave him a phone consultation for the next day. I thought when he explained it they would get him in to examine it or at least do a video call ask for a photo but no. They gave him an appointment for 10 days later. No indication of what it could be. I have an idea but obviously I'm not a dr.

He's also lost 10kg over a year without trying (high starting weight so you can't really tell)

I'm really scared and feel that the dr should be taking it more seriously. Also wish he had done something before this!

OP posts:
JaniceBingALing · 22/01/2022 19:46

They couldn't possibly have given an indication of what it was without seeing it. That would have been really irresponsible.

Your DP is unreasonable for not dealing with it sooner but 10 days seems excessive.

Briarshollow · 22/01/2022 19:47

Push and push and push for an urgent appointment and an urgent referral.

Could be a hernia, or it could be something more sinister that you need ruling out, especially with the weight loss.

Forfamily123 · 22/01/2022 19:48

Did your DH tell the GP what you have written here or a different version?

draramallama · 22/01/2022 19:48

Did he tell them about the unintentional weight loss?

How did he describe what the problem was?

glassofbubbles25 · 22/01/2022 19:48

I can’t imagine your dh actually explained the full symptoms tbh
I’d be very worried with the symptoms you’ve said. Not sure if it would be worth calling 111

LowlyTheWorm · 22/01/2022 19:49

I doubt he has fully explained to the GP (secretary?) his situation…
Maybe they’re thinking it’s a hernia and given he isn’t in agony it’s clearly not a strangulated one or in dire need for immediate attention?

Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 19:49

They couldn't possibly have given an indication of what it was without seeing it. That would have been really irresponsible

That's why I thought they'd at least ask for a photo or do a video call!

OP posts:
whattodo2019 · 22/01/2022 19:49

Could it just be a cyst?

Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 19:50

Did your DH tell the GP what you have written here or a different version?

I wasn't there when he had the call. I've offered to phone up and try and get the appointment sooner but he's having none of it.

I don't know why I'm posting tbh just venting I suppose.

Would it make any difference if I phoned up because he definitely won't

OP posts:
LadyCleathStuart · 22/01/2022 19:53

Did you listen to the phone consultation? Is it likely that your DP totally played down the whole thing. My DH is like this, will describe pain that had him doubled over as 'a wee bit sore' when talking to the doctor.

Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 19:56

I wasn't in when he had the call. He may have played it down but I'd be surprised. I can tell he's worried about it

OP posts:
Flocon · 22/01/2022 19:56

He needs to phone up and be 100% clear on his symptoms. If he thinks he wasn't he needs to say he's got more concerned and is it possible to be seen sooner. Write a list with him so he can remember the symptoms. If he's anything like my husband he's downplayed things on the phone not wanting to he a bother.

Flocon · 22/01/2022 19:56

Ah cross posted sorry

Briarshollow · 22/01/2022 20:10

Ok I don’t mean to scare you, but I’m concerned by your husband’s lack of action.

A few years ago my aunt went to the doctor with a lump in her stomach, GP sent her urgently to A&E. They said it was a hernia and sent her home.

She lost weight, the lump hurt, the lump grew. She went back to the GP a couple of months later, who got an urgent referral on the cancer pathway. The GP took bloods and her cancer markers were up. It turned out to be a very aggressive form of liver cancer. It had grown so much in the time between the first hospital visit and the second that it was inoperable and had spread. I won’t tell you what happened next.

He needs to go to the doctors.

LowlyTheWorm · 22/01/2022 20:14

He’s had it for months, will 10 days really make all that much of a difference? Probably not. If you’re very concerned you can call back and insist he is seen sooner…

whatwasIgoingtosay · 22/01/2022 20:16

Just read this horrible story in the Record: www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/man-told-nothing-wrong-died-26017761?utm_source=daily_record_newsletter&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter2&utm_medium=email
Keep pushing for him to be seen by a doctor in real life.

sanbeiji · 22/01/2022 20:20

OP I’m sorry but the weight loss is worrying. Your DP probably downplayed it.
Push to see a doctor, ASAP. Please please don’t leave it

Italiangreyhound · 22/01/2022 20:23

sanbeiji totally agree with you.

"OP I’m sorry but the weight loss is worrying. Your DP probably downplayed it.
Push to see a doctor, ASAP. Please please don’t leave it"

Theunamedcat · 22/01/2022 20:28

He downplayed it contact the surgery yourself and explain they won't be able to deal with you though because he is a grown up hopefully they will listen to you though

BritishDesiGirl · 22/01/2022 20:35

Take him straight to the hospital. My Dad was also reluctant to see a doctor, when he did the doctor didn't do the tests which would have potentially diagnosed his cancer sooner. Weight loss is a very worrying sign.

Please, please take him to the hospital.

Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 20:51

Do you mean take him to a and e?

I don't think that would help tbh. It's not an accident and although it feels like an emergency to me, it's been there a while and he's not in pain.

What would they do except tell him to see his GP?

OP posts:
Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 20:53

Take him straight to the hospital. My Dad was also reluctant to see a doctor, when he did the doctor didn't do the tests which would have potentially diagnosed his cancer sooner. Weight loss is a very worrying sign.

Sorry about your dad. I'm in the same situation with mine at the moment. He left it too late to go and then the doctors were shit.

I'm aware that may be making me more anxious about my partner

OP posts:
MagnoliatheMagnificent · 22/01/2022 21:03

Not appropriate for A&E. When is the appointment? If he’s had it for months a few days is unlikely to make much difference. The Dr would have done some kind of assessment over the phone. Is it hard or soft?

Original poster
Largethighsbadeyes · 22/01/2022 21:05

Somewhere in between I suppose.

Appointment is next Friday

OP posts:
MagnoliatheMagnificent · 22/01/2022 21:07

Any other symptoms? Nausea? Jaundice? Itching?

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