Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not on the same wave length..

34 replies

Candleropeheart · 22/01/2022 19:41

DH and I haven't been seeing eye to eye lately.. Bout two weeks.. Work/stress/no time for each other etc..

Our youngest ds is away to sleepover tonight.. I made a comment about being able to do something if his mum kept oldest ds.. He asked what and I said oh idk whatever things couples do..

It's been about an hour and I went to check on him (he was meant to be getting showered after working) and he's sorted sleepover for oldest ds yay! But he's booked us a room in a place less than 10 mins away... (With dinner yay)

I wasn't impressed, he wasn't happy I wasn't impressed and now he is going on his own to the hotel..
Was I being a bitch?

Yes I wanted to do something but we have a house and don't need a hotel room.. So that's a total waste of money on top of the dinner expense and drinks and we have a lot of events next month that I have already to budget for and he knows all this..

I meant dinner, ice skating or bowling, mauds or a late night coffee place then come home.. I didnt mean the local hotel..

But I didn't say that either but thot he knew me..🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Santahasjoinedww · 22/01/2022 19:43

He took the initiative and booked a nice surprise.

You should have accepted and gone!
He will make zero effort in future.

HippeePrincess · 22/01/2022 19:44

The poor bloke can't win, you sound like hard work!

AnotherSillawithanS · 22/01/2022 19:45

I think you were a bit out of order here op, sorry!

Chamomileteaplease · 22/01/2022 19:47

He asked what and I said oh idk whatever things couples do..

He actually asked what you would like to do but your reply was ambiguous to say the least!

I don't blame you for being annoyed at the waste of money but you may as well make the most of it now. Next time verbalise your wishes!

AlDanvers · 22/01/2022 19:47

So he made an effort, sorted childcare, and you got shitty because it wasn't exactly what you wanted. Despite the fact that you didn't communicate what you wanted.

You said what couples do. Couples do stay over in hotels sometimes.

I would have gone on my own too

MarshmallowSwede · 22/01/2022 19:49

Why wouldn’t you just say thank you and go to the hotel and have dinner?

You said let’s do something as a couple and he planned an evening and instead of just saying thank you, you complained.

So yes I would be angry if I were him to. He tried. But it wasn’t good enough.

NothingIsWrong · 22/01/2022 19:50

Yeah I think you are in the wrong here. You offered no ideas and have gone off on him after he sorted childcare and a nice dinner.

Tinitiny · 22/01/2022 19:50

So you didn’t mean this, that or the other. You did not you tell him what you actually meant and expect him to be a mind reader and then you weren’t impressed when he did what he thought you meant?
In answer to your question, yes, you were being a bitch.

ThesecondLEM · 22/01/2022 19:50

Yeah, you were ungrateful. I'd be thrilled if DP did this. Unless of course you are talking the local travel lodge

Ploppy1322 · 22/01/2022 19:50

Oh I do feel sorry for your DH, he's arranged a lovely surprise and that's your reaction! He's not a mind reader, if there was something specific you wanted to do you should have said. You should go and join him at the hotel, apologise and have a nice dinner together, anything else is cutting your nose off to spite your face and you'll be miserable.

Isthatthebestyoucando · 22/01/2022 19:51

Oh that sounds like a nice thing that he arranged. I think you were unfair to him.

NeverChange · 22/01/2022 19:52

He asked you what you wanted and you had not suggestion. He took the initiative but it wasn't good enough for you.

What is the guy supposed to do? Read your mind?

massiveblob · 22/01/2022 19:54

He can't win can he?!??

toomanyplants · 22/01/2022 19:54

He booked dinner and a night away, I'd be delighted with that, I think an apology is in order

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/01/2022 19:57

You sound like hard work op. I'd have loved that

Sausagesausagesausage · 22/01/2022 19:57

Poor Bloke. Hope he has a nice dinner, restful night and long leisurely breakfast tomorrow.

Cryalot2 · 22/01/2022 20:00

Poor man. I only wish my dh would do the sane.

MadeinBelfast · 22/01/2022 20:01

As you mentioned Maud's I'm going to take a guess as to where you are. Yes, it's an expense you don't need but there are some lovely hotels nearby and it makes the child-free evening a bit more special. Can you join him and make the most of the rest of the evening?

Soozikinzii · 22/01/2022 20:02

How nicely sort a hotel so you could have a chill and relax together I think you needed to make yourself clearer rather than falling out with him when he made an effort.

Blinkingheckythump · 22/01/2022 20:04

Jesus, poor guy! I imagine he'll probably have a better time on his own than with you if you based on your post

Liesovertheocean · 22/01/2022 20:05

Whilst I can see that if moneys tight you might feel a hotel was a bit of a waste, I think he was trying really hard to do a romantic thing. If I were you I’d be apologising for an overreaction and getting ready to go out for dinner and a fun night!

AlDanvers · 22/01/2022 20:07

If made an effort for dp because he wanted to do something but couldn't even come up with a suggestion and he was a dick about it, I would go on my own.

Not sure I would be impressed by him then turning up later, out of the blue, when he decided he didn't want to miss out. I would want the night alone.

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/01/2022 20:09

One your in a holiday room it doesn’t matter if your 10 mins or four hours away. It’s different from home, you can chill without seeing the washing that needs doing or the bath that needs cleaning. It’s a lovely break. Give the man some credit for being thoughtful. There is another post on here tonight about a man who won’t even go out while his kids are at a sleepover.

FawnFrenchieMum · 22/01/2022 20:10

That should say, once your in a hotel room! I clearly need to sleep!

Squirrelblanket · 22/01/2022 20:11

Aww I think he made a really nice gesture and you've thrown it back in his face. I think you need to apologise and try save the evening.