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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wedding breakfast- choice of meal?

175 replies

tan28 · 22/01/2022 13:41

Hey everyone.
Currently in talks with our catering company.... who are suggesting we give people the option to pick from a few starters/ mains & pudding.
They charge an extra £5 for that.
However every wedding we have attended we just got given one option and we had no issues with that.
My plan is to pick a set menu & a vegan option for our vegetarian/ vegan friends.
AIBU towards our guests? Should we offer them the option to choose what they want to eat? Our caterer wants a reply by tonight and I'm questioning myself now
TIA x

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 22/01/2022 13:57

Nope

Set menu with veggie option

mummyh2016 · 22/01/2022 14:00

I've been to a couple of weddings with a choice however the majority haven't and we didn't offer a choice at ours! If you do I would ensure you put people's menu choices on the table as people tend to forget what they've ordered so many weeks before.

ImInStealthMode · 22/01/2022 14:01

At my first wedding we gave the guests 3 choices for each course and it caused untold hassle once they'd seen the menu 'oh I don't really like chicken but I don't eat fish, can I have something else?' and 'I'm vegetarian but I'm on a no carbs diet at the moment is there anything else but veggie lasagne?'. If they hadn't know in advance they'd have just had to eat (or not eat) what was there on the day.

My second wedding we're having a buffet so different scenario but not a soul will see the menu beforehand!

hugr · 22/01/2022 14:01

We just picked a menu we liked and you had that, unless you had dietary restrictions. For veggie/ allergic/ lactose intolerant guests our caterers made a different, similar meal. We asked for dietary restrictions on the invite.

Tigertigertigertiger · 22/01/2022 14:02

Either a set menu or ask guests to choose in advance of the wedding one of two options.

Surely the caterers can’t charge £5 a head extra if they know in advance how much of each they need to prepare ?

TippledPink · 22/01/2022 14:02

My wedding had a choice menu and it cost me an extra £17.50 per head so £5 is a bargain! And then on the day, on of the choices was not even what I chose, they got it wrong!

hugr · 22/01/2022 14:04

My second wedding we're having a buffet so different scenario but not a soul will see the menu beforehand!

This is why we decided to do the above 😂 or families are picky eaters, but don't actually have any specific dietary needs. I knew I'd we gave them a menu they'd be like "I don't like broccoli I'll have leek with the chicken" or "oh.. no beef option then" "can I just have a pizza?"

To be fair we had 2 meats (chicken and lamb) served family style to the table with sides so you could pick what you wanted

TheWomandestroyed · 22/01/2022 14:04

@Dogshitduty

Just do a set menu. People aren't arsed about what they get from experience, if they don't like it.. they can get a chippy on the way home!
I don't agree, the food would be very important to me and to lots of people I know. I'm also gluten free and the more choices the more likely I am to be able to get something suitable.
erinaceus · 22/01/2022 14:06

I think it's reasonable to have a set menu, but do make it clear how guests can express any allergies or intolerances and be prepared to cater for those.

edwinbear · 22/01/2022 14:08

We sent the options for dinner with our invitations and people sent their choices back with their RSVP.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/01/2022 14:09

We had a choice menu but only had 20 guests so it was really easy to get them all to pre order from choices with their RSVP. The venue charged the same regardless

However when I've attended weddings there has only ever been one choice (or vegan/veggie ore ordered on invite) per course.

I expect (and am happy with) a fixed menu.

hugr · 22/01/2022 14:10

I don't agree, the food would be very important to me and to lots of people I know. I'm also gluten free and the more choices the more likely I am to be able to get something suitable

Any catering company will provide an option for those with dietary needs. So you'd just have to tell the B&G about needing GF and the caterers would arrange.

Imagine providing options for

  • omnivore
  • veggie
  • vegan
  • gluten free
  • nut free
  • lactose free
  • any number of food allergies.
Twinkleylight · 22/01/2022 14:12

Set menu because the catering company is trying toake extra money from you. Also, if you offer options then expect people to want off menu options because they didn't like what you offered......

itwasntaparty · 22/01/2022 14:13

Set menu apart from dietary requirements. No one will care what they ate at you wedding a few years down the line .

Lorw · 22/01/2022 14:16

We offered 3 options for each course, it was the same price as having a set menu but was a faff, but at £120 a head I wasn’t having wasted food when people turned up and didn’t like what we chose, atleast giving people an option meant they were more likely to eat it, plates were clean for every course 😁

PenCreed · 22/01/2022 14:25

We got people to tell us dietary restrictions then everyone got the same starter (veggie) and either a meat or veggie main, with appropriate changes eg GF bread. I think it depends on how many guests you have - we had over 100 guests for dinner, and a menu choice would have been utter chaos.

Incidentally, the caterers still cocked up and gave me the wrong meal (mine being one of the few that had needed a slight change due to something I can't eat). I've never had a serving error fixed so quickly!

gettingmylifetogether · 22/01/2022 14:28

A set menu isn't unusual, but I think your caterer is taking the mick. Are you already locked in with a contract?

IMHO, wedding food is either good or dire, and a choice of options won't change that.

PurplePeculiar · 22/01/2022 14:31

Another vote for a veggie option as well as vegan. I really hate this growing trend of only catering to vegans or meat-eaters.

HTH1 · 22/01/2022 14:33

I think chicken is pretty inoffensive so would have that and a veggie option (then just get them modified for any dietary restrictions).

Merryoldgoat · 22/01/2022 14:34

We just had a set menu and asked for dietary requirements and catered for those separately.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/01/2022 14:36

£5 pp seems ridiculous but in general I think a choice is better. If you picked tomato soup / seafood I'd be hungry until pudding for example. People will feel similarly about different meals. At the price we paid, I wanted people to enjoy their meal.

But it depends on whether it's affordable.

onlyhereforthefood · 22/01/2022 14:43

we did a choice and it was worth the extra money to see so many clean plates and full bellies! we did a roast and chicken, beef or nut roast, plus three desserts

TeamBlondie · 22/01/2022 14:45

We only did one set meal but obviously catered for requirements as told.

I’ve been to weddings recently where there is a choice and I liked that.

Wnkingawalrus · 22/01/2022 14:45

I don’t think a choice is necessary at all. You cater for dietary requirements and then it’s set menu. I wouldn’t expect a choice if I went to a friends house for dinner so not sure why no choice would be an issue at a wedding.

I did ask for views from veggie friends on what to pick for the veggie option though.

toppkatz · 22/01/2022 14:45

How many vegetarians and vegans will there be? I'm with others in thinking that vegetarians might be annoyed at having to eat vegan.