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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 16mo to A&E? In need of a hand hold …

250 replies

SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 21:48

Evening all,

I’m all over the place so forgive me for the the rush of information.
My 16mo has been ill since September, ever since beginning nursery. Virus after virus which I know is normal due to picking up lots of bugs from other children. She always has swollen glands which I’ve brought to the GPs attention each visit and have always been told they’re normal, not too big etc.

Last time DD was ill was beginning of December. Usual swollen glands and I was told to bring her back after Christmas if they don’t go down. She was given antibiotics for the first time at this appointment.

Fast forward to today and I realise the gland on the left side of her neck is visibly protruding. I’m an anxious person so I immediately called the doctor who asked me to go down this afternoon.
I honestly thought I would be told that yet again it was all normal but no… the GP seemed very concerned as the gland is about 1cm over what is regarded ‘normal’. DD is very small for her age so it appears huge to even look at.
Other than the gland, DD has very few other symptoms other than appearing tired and pale some of the time.

I was told by the GP that she needed an urgent referral and leukaemia and lymphoma can present in this way. Cue me having an absolute emotional breakdown in the doctors surgery.
I asked if anything can be done sooner than 2 weeks but apparently not unless she begins to show more symptoms.

AIBU to take her to A&E? I want a paediatrician to look at her NOW and tell me if anything is concerning. I don’t want to wait 2 weeks in absolute turmoil over the possibility something could be seriously wrong.

Any insights would be amazing or similar experiences. I’m an absolute wreck

OP posts:
Notwithittoday · 25/01/2022 09:46

@SingSweetNightingale

A further update for anyone still here: I called the clinic she is supposed to have been referred to. They have no record of the referral. It seems the GP has made a mistake when sending it through. I called the GP surgery and spoke to a receptionist who said she would ask the secretary to call me tomorrow when she’s back at work. I said that’s unacceptable as the words leukaemia and lymphoma were bandied about on Friday and I have almost waited a week as it is. She said she would ask the GP to call me but she can’t guarantee when as she is in clinic at the moment. I’m honestly beside myself. I have an op at 2pm this afternoon but just feel like cancelling it so I can concentrate on DD.
As I said upthread. GPs make mistakes all The time with referrals and sometimes these mistakes have consequences. I dealt with a lady last week who was looking at a two month wait for her baby’s appointment that really need to be seen urgently. The GP had sent it under the wrong code and to the wrong dept so if she’d have not called not only would the baby have waited two months but she’d have gone to the appointment and sent back to the GP. You have to advocate for your child and if that means going to A&E, you do it.
mumofbun · 25/01/2022 09:51

I've just read your updates, agree that is unacceptable about the referral and i'd be chasing it as much as i can today!

However, you answered your own question about A&E. It's not an emergency as you've mentioned it wouldn't be a good time for you to take her, your husband to take her or for her schedule to take her...if it was truly a case for A&E none of those things would be relevant.

In these circumstances i would call 111 if she shows any other signs of being unwell (such as the temperature). They can triage you accordingly and if necessary you can be sent straight to the children's ward (this has happened to us).

As others have said, i'd urge you to get some help for your anxiety. And i wouldn't cancel your operation (i think this hanging over you probably isn't helping matters). Good luck x

Costacoffeeplease · 25/01/2022 10:09

I agree that it’s not an emergency if your husbands work is more important. Yes it’s annoying that the GP made a mistake, but that was Friday? It’s only Tuesday morning, it’s not nearly a week ago.

Good luck with your op

RalphLaurenG · 25/01/2022 10:43

I would be making an emergency appt for TODAY with your Dr. If no joy then A&E - I am a medical professional myself and I do not advocate this lightly. Especially as she appears to be worsening (fever).

3luckystars · 25/01/2022 11:08

Keep making phone calls and follow up with emails. You will get there. Good luck today.

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 25/01/2022 11:12

The letter has finally been attached to the referral and she has an appointment for next Thursday morning. I will call between now and then to see if there are any cancellations.

Her fever has now gone, calpol sorted it out once she’d been collected from nursery and she seems ok again today.

In terms of my anxiety - it’s an ongoing issue which I am under mental health professionals for. I’m actually better than I’ve ever been on that front but I challenge any mother on here to hear the words leukaemia and lymphoma and not spiral!

OP posts:
Moonbabysmum · 25/01/2022 11:16

I assume her PCR came back negative so you know the fever wasnt Covid?

Glad she's now got an appointment.

Star81 · 25/01/2022 11:28

So glad your staying on top of all this to make sure things are down when they should be. x

spiderlight · 25/01/2022 11:48

If it helps at all, my DS had a very large gland come up on the side of his neck during a particularly vile cold when he was 7. It never fully went back down and I was told that sometimes they get so inflamed during a nasty infection or a run of illnesses that they become hypersensitised or even slightly scarred and stay enlarged for a long time - sometimes even years. He's nearly 15 now and it's still visible from certain angles and is the first to pop back up if he's brewing a cold of any type, but he's a big strapping healthy lad and has had no health problems whatsoever.

Hopefully your DD's gland is just being a bit over-enthusiastic, but it's awful that you've been left dangling all week. Fingers crossed that they can put your mind at rest on Thursday.

WorriedGiraffe · 25/01/2022 11:49

@SingSweetNightingale you sound like you are doing as well as possible, holding yourself together and managing to take care of your family and still follow up the referral. It’s incredibly stressful being in a situation like this and I think you are doing great.

Fingers crossed for a cancellation, but atleast you’ve got a date set in stone to aim for. Glad her fever has gone too

ArabellaScott · 25/01/2022 13:15

Good to hear you've got a date. Good luck this afternoon, OP. Flowers

Bunce1 · 25/01/2022 14:10

That’s really positive! Thursday isn’t far away. You’ll get there.

Keep a little diary for your DD. Take her temp in the morning. Do a little observation on her- colour, general demeanour. How’s she’s eating and sleeping. Keep that going and you can take it to the appt with you.

I’m sure it’s something and nothing. I’ve been in your shoes and it’s awful, but my Dd just had a lingering virus. It was nothing. But she had terrible mouth sores, temp, tiredness, all on and off over a period of weeks. It’s was really scary.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 25/01/2022 20:41

ah @SingSweetNightingale sending you a virtual hug and a handhold. Your responses to all of this are totally in proportion to the awful possibilities!

Glad it is just a few days away now; you can make it. @Bunce1's suggestions upthread are excellent. Do that, and do keep posting here - we're here to support you as we can.

spiderlight · 27/01/2022 14:20

Hope it all goes well today.

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 27/01/2022 18:13

Hi all,

Sorry for the confusion but the appointment is next Thursday (3rd Feb). I am calling most days to try to get a cancellation sooner but apparently they don’t have many.
Only a week regardless to wait I know so trying to remain calm.

OP posts:
KittensTeaAndCake · 27/01/2022 22:26

How has your DD been, had she still got a temp?
Hope your op went well Thanks

WorriedGiraffe · 02/02/2022 19:54

@SingSweetNightingale is it your appointment tomorrow or did you manage to get a cancellation?

Sundayrain · 02/02/2022 22:03

Just another story here of child with enlarged lymph nodes, saw paediatrician who said they were reactive and nothing to worry about, we think they were actually a reaction to the MMR vaccine and she said it's quite common for them to stay enlarged after an illness. We had a 2 week referral from the GP but the paediatrician wasn't concerned at all. I really feel for you, the waiting is awful.

amoobaa · 02/02/2022 22:21

Good luck for tomorrow and hope you get good news. Thinking of you and you daughter.

KittensTeaAndCake · 03/02/2022 09:32

Good luck today @SingSweetNightingale Thanks

DomesticatedZombie · 03/02/2022 09:35

Good luck today. Flowers

FabricPigeon · 03/02/2022 09:36

Good luck, OP Flowers

Rainbowdrops2021 · 03/02/2022 10:04

Good luck today!

Bunce1 · 03/02/2022 10:33

Thinking of you both- hope it goes well today.

FelicityPike · 03/02/2022 10:40

Hope it goes well today.