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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 16mo to A&E? In need of a hand hold …

250 replies

SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 21:48

Evening all,

I’m all over the place so forgive me for the the rush of information.
My 16mo has been ill since September, ever since beginning nursery. Virus after virus which I know is normal due to picking up lots of bugs from other children. She always has swollen glands which I’ve brought to the GPs attention each visit and have always been told they’re normal, not too big etc.

Last time DD was ill was beginning of December. Usual swollen glands and I was told to bring her back after Christmas if they don’t go down. She was given antibiotics for the first time at this appointment.

Fast forward to today and I realise the gland on the left side of her neck is visibly protruding. I’m an anxious person so I immediately called the doctor who asked me to go down this afternoon.
I honestly thought I would be told that yet again it was all normal but no… the GP seemed very concerned as the gland is about 1cm over what is regarded ‘normal’. DD is very small for her age so it appears huge to even look at.
Other than the gland, DD has very few other symptoms other than appearing tired and pale some of the time.

I was told by the GP that she needed an urgent referral and leukaemia and lymphoma can present in this way. Cue me having an absolute emotional breakdown in the doctors surgery.
I asked if anything can be done sooner than 2 weeks but apparently not unless she begins to show more symptoms.

AIBU to take her to A&E? I want a paediatrician to look at her NOW and tell me if anything is concerning. I don’t want to wait 2 weeks in absolute turmoil over the possibility something could be seriously wrong.

Any insights would be amazing or similar experiences. I’m an absolute wreck

OP posts:
Mackmama · 21/01/2022 22:31

I would go to A&E, it’s totally unfair to just throw that into the mix and leave you like that. My DS has a viable swollen lymph node in his neck. Its been there since he was about 2. The GP referred him to a paediatrician who took one look at it and said it was a shotty node, it’s still there now and he’s 6. Someone at A&E might be able to look at it and tell you straight away.

WorriedGiraffe · 21/01/2022 22:31

I don’t think a&e could speed things up, because either she needs to be ill enough to be admitted which doesn’t sound likely, or she needs bloods taken at a paediatric clinic because she’s under 5. But I’d also absolutely freak out and take her to a&e if it was my daughter, do not be afraid to push people for your daughters medical needs, doctors and medical staff will understand and you can’t be too careful. Don’t worry about what people will think, do what you need to do

ArabellaScott · 21/01/2022 22:32

Flowers OP. This must be so hard. Have you got someone there to support you?

namechanged221 · 21/01/2022 22:32

DD also had glandular fever. I had many GP appointments with no appropriate diagnosis and we ended up at A&E, they did blood tests within hours and admitted her... then got told it was glandular fever, she had enlarged spleen so was very poorly. There was mention of leukaemia until the Epstein Barr blood test came back.

I did end up taking matters into my own hands. Children's A&E is not really the same as adult version.

Sorry to disagree with most posters but I'd just go tomorrow and get her checked out.

Good luck op xxx

Sayitisnotso · 21/01/2022 22:33

Just take her- the absolute worst is they say wait the two weeks. Perhaps if you said she has some symptoms that got worse since Gp saw her?

Jmaxx44 · 21/01/2022 22:33

Agree with several of the previous posters, unless your DD has any urgent symptoms which require a&e treatment immediately I wouldn’t go in tonight. Best to phone out of hours services in the morning for further advice. If it helps at all, my DS is a similar age and also started nursery a few months ago. He has been so poorly, often for months at a time with various viruses and infections. Just before Christmas he had exactly what you describe, very swollen glands and our GP suspected mumps. He was miserable, poor thing. That particular time it turned out to be an ear infection (apparently any infection in the body can result in swollen glands) so I really hope your DD is a similar case and it turns out to be very innocent. Flowers

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 22:34

This is what I was hoping for. A paediatric doctor at childrens a&e to give me some indication on whether they think it’s concerning.
I know GPs are well trained but they’re not children’s specialists

OP posts:
NotAnotherPushyMum · 21/01/2022 22:34

A&E isn’t the right route for this, as tempting as it is.

My ds had a swollen gland come up on one side of his neck after his 12 week immunisations and it just stayed. It’s still larger than the other one and he’s nearly 18 now. Has always been told it’s just one of those odd things that happens sometimes.

justasking111 · 21/01/2022 22:35

Wait till morning, see if other symptoms appear then phone 111

It's not great at our hospitals at the weekend

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 22:36

@arabellascott - I do thank you. I have my partner and parents who are trying their best to keep me sane. I’m finding it really hard and it’s only the first night

OP posts:
Aaaa1167336 · 21/01/2022 22:36

Can you afford a private appointment -depending on when you are you can usually pay to see someone next day for about £250-400 for the appointment.

Shuffletime · 21/01/2022 22:38

Similar story here. 1st time gp sent us to a&e but all they could do was antibiotics and had to go back for bloods. 2nd time antibiotics from gp. 3rd time referral for ultrasound and more bloods. Most recent time referral to paeds because its now a regular recurring thing, all in the space of 6 months.

However, ds is absolutely fine. It just seems to be his body's way of coping after an infection.

Aaaa1167336 · 21/01/2022 22:38

Sorry OP just read your response further up thread

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 22:38

Just to give a bit more information sorry - her glands were up at her GP appointment in December when she was given the antibiotics but they were a “normal” size considering she had an infection.
Since then they have grown by 1-1.5cm even though the antibiotics cleared up the infection.
This terrifies me as why is it growing when she is well?
I’m completely lost and scared

OP posts:
MerryPoppings · 21/01/2022 22:38

No doctor, however experienced, can look at a lump and say for certain what it is. I've recently had breast cancer and since then have had various lumps come up under my arm pits. Very scary every time as I'm petrified of the cancer coming back. My consultant has taken a look each time and referred me for an ultrasound. Thankfully all normal lymph nodes. Blood tests and scans are needed because you can't tell by looking.

I understand how desperate you are for reassurance but A and E is not the right place to get answers.

Aaaa1167336 · 21/01/2022 22:40

I know not realistic for all (or even many) but worth building up an emergency fund for private consultants - the fact is the NHS is a joke and keeping a few hundred in reserve is much cheaper than private health insurance. You can build up a fund little by little.

Jisforjuggling · 21/01/2022 22:45

A&E dr here. This is an ongoing problem which has got a bit worse. If you child is well we wouldn’t even take bloods……so you’ll be no further forward. Sorry OP. If you want to spend the process up you’ll need to go privately.

UmbilicusProfundus · 21/01/2022 22:49

I’m sorry your GP seems to have freaked you out unnecessarily. Anyone would find this very scary and stressful so GP shouldn’t have added to this. They should have reassured you that there are plenty of far more likely explanations, but just to double check they will do a 2WW referral which is quite routine in this circumstance.

I don’t think A&E would be helpful or appropriate. I’m impressed that you have been able to see a paeds specialist in your local hospital previously, but I doubt even if you happened to be lucky and were reviewed by a paediatric oncologist anything would happen more quickly. It would still be the same assessment pathway, I doubt they would be able to fully reassure you without these further investigations.

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 22:51

@Jisforjuggling - sorry if I’m a bit stupid or ignorant when I say this but she’s not well? She has potential suspected cancer as a worst case.
I don’t understand why if I took her to a&e they would do nothing with her symptoms, not even bloods, when a GP is concerned and has referred her urgently

OP posts:
3luckystars · 21/01/2022 22:53

I would go yes. I think it’s disgraceful that the gp couldn’t take blood and send it to the lab today, but sent you home to worry for 2 weeks.
Yes I would go to the hospital.
All the very best.

Original poster
SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 22:53

@UmbilicusProfundus - I asked what she was concerned about and cancer was mentioned first. Nothing else was even suggested other than “could be because she’s a covid baby that hasn’t been exposed to much until now”.
I don’t even have any other options to go on although she did say cancer is worst case and probably unlikely.
I’m very confused and concerned and have really limited information to go on

OP posts:
Katya213 · 21/01/2022 22:54

They will want to rule out lymphoma more than leukaemia, she will have a scan and you will be told there and then but most of the time these glands are completely harmless. You will probably hear from the hospital next week to come in. Honestly do not worry, what the GP has done is fairly normal.

Janesmom · 21/01/2022 22:55

I really empathise with you.

However, please don’t go to A&E. They are not intended to circumvent the wait for referrals and simply cannot do so, given the demand for truly urgent care. You’ll be sent straight home and told to go to your gp (or, in this case, wait for the referral).

Katya213 · 21/01/2022 22:56

Enlarged gland is quite common in babies, they are referred all the time because that’s standard procedure.

gogohm · 21/01/2022 22:58

I know it's really tough waiting but she's been referred for an urgent oncology appointment if they are considering cancer, a&e are not oncologists all they would do is refer you, and you already have a referral.