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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take 16mo to A&E? In need of a hand hold …

250 replies

SingSweetNightingale · 21/01/2022 21:48

Evening all,

I’m all over the place so forgive me for the the rush of information.
My 16mo has been ill since September, ever since beginning nursery. Virus after virus which I know is normal due to picking up lots of bugs from other children. She always has swollen glands which I’ve brought to the GPs attention each visit and have always been told they’re normal, not too big etc.

Last time DD was ill was beginning of December. Usual swollen glands and I was told to bring her back after Christmas if they don’t go down. She was given antibiotics for the first time at this appointment.

Fast forward to today and I realise the gland on the left side of her neck is visibly protruding. I’m an anxious person so I immediately called the doctor who asked me to go down this afternoon.
I honestly thought I would be told that yet again it was all normal but no… the GP seemed very concerned as the gland is about 1cm over what is regarded ‘normal’. DD is very small for her age so it appears huge to even look at.
Other than the gland, DD has very few other symptoms other than appearing tired and pale some of the time.

I was told by the GP that she needed an urgent referral and leukaemia and lymphoma can present in this way. Cue me having an absolute emotional breakdown in the doctors surgery.
I asked if anything can be done sooner than 2 weeks but apparently not unless she begins to show more symptoms.

AIBU to take her to A&E? I want a paediatrician to look at her NOW and tell me if anything is concerning. I don’t want to wait 2 weeks in absolute turmoil over the possibility something could be seriously wrong.

Any insights would be amazing or similar experiences. I’m an absolute wreck

OP posts:
Icecreamandapplepie · 21/01/2022 23:00

If I was told that about my 16 month old, I would be down a and e, yes.

Balls to anyone saying otherwise.

You may get a scan, you may not. But I would try.

I hope it turns out to be nothing.

Roch91 · 21/01/2022 23:00

Unfortunately they won't do anything at A&E they will just tell you to wait for your appointment. I know someone who was in the same situation & went a&e on several occasions & they said as it's not an accident or an emergency & the specialist wouldn't be there that would need to assist her.

Jisforjuggling · 21/01/2022 23:03

@SingSweetNightingale I don’t think you are being stupid or ignorant. I think you are being a concerned parent.
you said in your OP
Other than the gland, DD has very few other symptoms other than appearing tired and pale some of the time

So right now she isn’t systemically unwell….she doesn’t have any symptoms(from what you’ve said) that require treating tonight. Even if you did get bloods, and they were abnormal, no one is going to do anything about them tonight, or tomorrow or Sunday, because your child isn’t actually systemically unwell now, and hasn’t been significantly unwell for several months despite similar symptoms…..which is actually reassuring. I’m really sorry that it’s so stressful for you.

PodgePie · 21/01/2022 23:04

You poor thing. How utterly dreadful. I would feel exactly the same urge to rush to the hospital as you but (if you’re honest) you probably do want avoid the Friday night miasma that makes up A&E at the beginning of the weekend. Don’t google.

It sounds like your GP is being overly cautious - which is a very good thing in many ways, but has always lacked a certain amount of reassurance. If he had urgent concerns then your DD would be seen sooner than two weeks.

Jisforjuggling · 21/01/2022 23:05

You may get a scan, you may not
You categorically won’t get a scan in A&E on a well child at 11pm on a Friday night, or any other time of day or night. That’s not what A&E is for or does.

LittleOwl153 · 21/01/2022 23:08

I hope your little girl is OK, and tucked up peacefully in bed. I can absolutely hear the fear in your writing.

A&E particularly on a Friday night is not the place to be. The likelihood is at this point is it is staffed by junior doctors (supervised by a consultant who is likely to be caught up in whatever the evenings trauma cases are) who - whilst they will do their best of course - are not as experienced as your GP.

Try to get some sleep - I know how hard that is. I have been there with a tiny who I took through OOH on a Saturday evening only to be referred back to the GP who referred back to her usual consultant on Monday... and swore I'd never go there again.

If your little girl takes a turn for the worse of course take her - but as others say, they don't have access to the skills she needs to solve this. They will only deal with any immediate issue then return you to the wait.

Wine for you OP! And good luck!

Icecreamandapplepie · 21/01/2022 23:09

@jisforjuggling

I have.

Lindy2 · 21/01/2022 23:10

My DD had a gland like this. She was always a bit prone to swollen glands, even several weeks after a cold or virus. Her school rang me one day though because she'd complained her neck was sore and when they looked one of her glands was so swollen you could see it sticking out even if you were standing on the other side of the room.

I was obviously very worried. I initially took her to a walk in centre. The walk in said I needed a GP appointment and I was able to get one the next day. The GP examined her and although the gland was very large they felt it was just a result of a cold she'd had about a month before. They wanted to reexamine it either a week or 2 weeks later. By the time of the second appointment it was much much smaller and no further treatment was needed.

It's important to get it checked out. Hopefully you will be in the same situation as we were where it's just a gland swelling a lot from a previous infection but nothing to worry about.

Reallycantbesarsed · 21/01/2022 23:11

Two of my children had large lymph nodes on their neck . You could actually see them without feeling. Both were absolutely fine and are in their twenties now. I really do understand your anxiety and hope you can be reassured Asap. 💐

Youngatheart00 · 21/01/2022 23:11

Aside from the glands your daughter is generally well…it’s not an accident nor an emergency. If the GP thought it was she would have been referred there. Relax and let the referral run it’s course.

Slumcat · 21/01/2022 23:12

I can’t comment on leukaemia but I can on lymphoma. I was diagnosed in my twenties with Hodgkins.
To diagnose a scan then biopsy will usually be required so A&E won’t be able to help you, blood tests to diagnose lymphoma are unreliable and can often present as normal.
You will obviously be extremely worried- but from a lymphoma( Hodgkin) point of view it is cancer normally effecting teens and young adults. There are lots of reasons for nodes to swell, await appointments as planned I wish you and your little one all the best

thinpigeon · 21/01/2022 23:14

OP, are you sure it will be two weeks or is that just the maximum time that it might take? I had a similar scare with my 2yr old at the height of the first lockdown - was put in for urgent referral - and the hospital were on the phone that afternoon offering an appointment the next day. We saw the consultant, had bloods and x-rays on the same day and an ultrasound scan the following week with results (thankfully all clear) shortly after that. So, depending on the situation, is there a possibility that you may hear from them sooner than 2 weeks?

ArabellaScott · 21/01/2022 23:15

[quote SingSweetNightingale]@UmbilicusProfundus - I asked what she was concerned about and cancer was mentioned first. Nothing else was even suggested other than “could be because she’s a covid baby that hasn’t been exposed to much until now”.
I don’t even have any other options to go on although she did say cancer is worst case and probably unlikely.
I’m very confused and concerned and have really limited information to go on[/quote]
I know it's easy to say, but try to keep that in mind. There could be various other reasons.

I had a wee one that had to go for tests etc; I well remember the fear and worry. You will get through it, OP. You'll be in shock and really freaked out just now. Be gentle with yourself. Brew

Wheresthebeach · 21/01/2022 23:15

Sending hugs OP. I know you want answered Now, but I’m afraid everyone is right. It’s not an A&E situation. You’ll only br more upset and frustrated when they send you home, as will your DD.

When DD was 4 she was admitted to hospital as the GP helpfully said ‘Mrs Beach we need to rule out stomach cancer’ . The wait was horrible but it’s best for everyone if you take deep breaths and do your best to carry on as normal. It’s hard, but it’s better than spiralling down.

Mackmama · 21/01/2022 23:15

What is your own instinct OP? When I replied before, I realised I must have been in the same boat waiting to take my DS to see the specialist. I remember being anxious as there has been childhood cancer in my family, but I just kept looking at him and thinking, he’s okay in himself, he looks fine, he’s eating, drinking interacting and has no other symptoms so that kind of got me though until the appointment which like I said, turned out to be fine.

Silenceisnotalwaysgolden · 21/01/2022 23:19

This is pre covid but when my DD was referred under the 2 week rule to oncology, we were given an appointment 4 days later. Hopefully, you will hear very shortly too. If you know where they have been referred you could also try phoning the consultant’s medical secretary to check if they have received the referral?

Jisforjuggling · 21/01/2022 23:23

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie I can’t comment on your case because I don’t know the facts. But that is not normal practice

Getoutofbed25 · 21/01/2022 23:23

Take your baby to A&E at the childrens hospital and explain what the gp has said to you.
Our GP suspected similar in my child, although he was about age 5, we were told to pack a bag and go straight to A&E at 6 pm on a Friday night. He wrote a letter that we took with us. It turned out to be a Strep infection and very low iron levels but Leukaemia was suspected initially. Full blood and swabs were done. GP called me first thing Monday to find out what happened at the hospital.
Good luck, but please just go to the hospital

OppsUpsSide · 21/01/2022 23:27

My LO had similar and I took him to the Drs between Christmas and New Year, the Dr scared the hell out of me, spoke to paediatrics and I was told to take LO straight to A&E and they were expecting us. The first Dr confirmed my fear. I then saw a senior Dr who examined LO thoroughly and went on to give me the all the detail as to why they were not concerned. They took bloods anyway and sent us home and I got a call the next day to say all ok.
If you are worried, take DC to A&E, don’t fuck about wondering if you might upset the sensitivities of a Dr or even worse some random on the internet.

wilkos · 21/01/2022 23:36

This was our situation after DD 2 started at nursery. She was endlessly under the weather from when she started in September to Christmas, I was heavily pregnant with DS and we both just seemed to be permanently ill. I kept her off nursery one day in early January and put her down for an hour nap after lunch, which turned into 2 and a half. Enjoying my good fortune I watched telly and had a little snooze thinking she was sleeping off the most recent virus.

Woke up and realised she was still asleep. But weird. Went into her room and her hands and lower legs and feet were blue and she was breathing really strangely Confused called an ambulance and we were taken into hospital. She was seen and bloods were taken, medicine given to help her breathing, was there for hours but finally saw a paediatrician who said we could go home but they thought it might be leukaemia so we would need to go back first thing the following day ... unbeknown to him my father had died of leukaemia 18 months prior as had DH's dad 20 years before 😢

Duly arrived the following day after a sleepless night and was told, no - not leukaemia but she had got pneumonia as her immune system had taken such a battering. I can honestly say was over the moon that my baby 'only' had pneumonia after what we had been told the night before. Could have given the doctor a massive kiss at that moment!

Lots of hugs to you x it's so hard not to worry but it will be ok in the end x

BeatrixKiddo88 · 21/01/2022 23:37

You poor thing yes take your child to A and E now and I hope everything will be ok x

KittensTeaAndCake · 21/01/2022 23:38

I don’t even have any other options to go on although she did say cancer is worst case and probably unlikely

Probably unlikely. Probably unlikely. You just have to keep telling yourself this OP.

Try not to worry, chances are it's nothing serious Thanks

RandomMess · 21/01/2022 23:39

I hope I can reassure you a little.

My teen DD went through this only Lenny lymph was visible across the room and she couldn't move her neck it was so large and painful.

We were referred to ENT one stop clinic (urgently) her bloods were fine. I was expecting a cyst and the fear when they did the ultrasound and it wasn't Sad

They were concerned, did either a CAT or MRI and did a biopsy. She was also going for a PET scan however I think as a result of the biopsy her body suddenly realised that her lymph node didn't need to be 4 x it's usually size and went back down. 🤷🏽‍♀️

They don't know why it happened but now when she's ill he reappears but on a smaller scale.

Interestingly you can also get a form of treatable TB appear in your lymph node.

Thanks
PiggieWiggie · 21/01/2022 23:43

I would call a late night pharmacist and have a chat with them. They are brilliant at dealing with my concerns on kids' health and giving advice. Just make sure to speak to the actual pharmacist.

Ellowyn · 21/01/2022 23:47

I'm in the US and when I read your OP I was on team 'Take her to A&E now', but reading about that is not what A&E does and it would be a waste of time, I understand better.

It was horrible what your doctor told you about cancer, when swollen glands are often times perfectly normal. He is an absolute shit for doing that.

Just wait for the referral and if she starts to get ill, call him. Here we have our own pediatricians from birth on. I only took my children to see my GP if it was something like an ear infection with fever etc. All the check ups, vaccinations and the surprise stuff were done at the pediatricians.