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Original poster

Year 4 and 9 years old in two weeks wants a phone Not sure?

95 replies

Chippingbird23 · 21/01/2022 15:21

She will be 9 in two weeks and for her birthday wants a phone. Her friends have one and do Snapchat together and she says most kids in her class have a phone. Actually in her words nearly everyone except me mum and why won’t you let me have a phone? 🙄

I’m thinking it’s too soon for a phone and she is still young? Do most kids have a phone at this age now?

OP posts:
esloquehay · 21/01/2022 19:30

If she's allowed out on her own, then I would let her have one.
If not, then probably no.

SpikeySmooth · 21/01/2022 19:32

We gave DD a second hand phone that used to belong to her dad in Y6 when she started going to school with her friends.

girlsyearapart · 21/01/2022 19:33

Mine had for their 11th birthday so 3/4 in year 6 and one in the summer before y7

I taught year 6 for a while and by the end of y6 my phone drawer was pretty full.

Beginning of the year think 2/30

bagelsandcheese · 21/01/2022 19:33

most kids in my child's class do have phones. ( year 4) I know this to be true as my child uses my phone to talk to them/ text them whilst gaming. My child is quite social so I like that he can chat to his friends but obviously with it being my phone I only let him have it for a while before I want it back. some of his friends have texted my phone 9/10 at night which if my child had their own they wouldn't be having it at that time, I'd treat it like their devices where they are allowed it for a certain amount of time each day.
I'm going to get mine his own for rather his birthday or Xmas of year 5.

OfstedOffred · 21/01/2022 19:36

End of y6 is the norm - ready for secondary.

At 9 I'll bet a million quid her friends are borrowing mums phone to show off.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 21/01/2022 19:38

My friend's DD had a phone as did a lot of them in year 5, cue posting of photos and rate my outfit which led to children bitching about each other in private messages and saying lovely things on group chat.

Friend didn't feel she could inform school as to why there was a massive fall out as both Instagram and Snapchat are 13 years plus.

It just brings drama, they are never sensible because they are primary school age. It takes a lot of courage for children to come to their parents to show messages etc because they fear the phone being taken away. I would worry about messages and bullying but also access to stuff like TikTok etc.

My children got phones for their 11th birthdays ready for secondary.

ScrollingLeaves · 21/01/2022 19:42

For travelling to school alone you can still get the little old-fashioned mobiles. I still use one as it fits in any small pocket.

MetricMs · 21/01/2022 19:42

No. None of mine got one until secondary (youngest is now Y8). We live in London. Absolutely not appropriate and I say that as a parent without a car so I understand the very local concerns of a parent living in a city.

Cheeseplantboots · 21/01/2022 19:43

No. Mine got them in year 7.

MichaelAndEagle · 21/01/2022 19:45

Obviously if they do have a phone at 9 you'd keep a very close eye.
Check messages, only certain apps allowed etc. Just as you would with their ipads.

winnieanddaisy · 21/01/2022 19:47

My DGD has had an iPhone for about a year . She got it in year 4 but only uses it for taking photos, mainly of her pony . The other thing she uses it for is to FaceTime her best friend so that they can play with the schlike (sp) ponies together even they live 5 miles apart . They can keep this up for hours. 😀

LaTomatina · 21/01/2022 19:47

Mine don't have phones, eldest is almost 10. Some of the children in his class have them, but most don't get them til 12/13.

TeddyTonks · 21/01/2022 19:48

No, too young

Echobelly · 21/01/2022 19:49

YANBU - oldest (DD) got through primary, and youngest (DS) will, without a smart phone. I doubt 'everyone' has them.

Oldest wouldn't even have had a smartphone until 13th b'day I think (given their school doesn't allow them on site at all) but for lockdown, when we bought one, not long before they turned 12, as it was so near the start of secondary school we felt keeping in touch with friends was imperative. And it is worth having at this age now they are going around on their own, making their own plans (and incredibly freeing for us, especially in school holidays).

But until a child is old enough to be having an independent social life, they are not a necessity.

CoverYourselfInChocolateGlory · 21/01/2022 19:55

It's a no from me.

DD is 8 and I let her use my old iPhone but strictly under supervision and when she's finished whatever she's doing, I take it back to store it. She's forgotten about it recently as she got a Nintendo Switch for her birthday.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 21/01/2022 20:13

No way on earth. They're far too young at 9 to cope with Snapchat and phones.

VestaTilley · 21/01/2022 20:20

Just say no. 9 is far too young. The others won’t all have phones.

shoofly · 21/01/2022 20:20

DS2 is 10, will be 11 in April so will probably get one for his birthday. A few of the kids in his class have one but not the majority... A few hot them during lockdown... Few of them did zoom calls from time to time. Having said that there was an issue with some of the girls and some sort of dodgy message forwarded through WhatsApp a few months ago. It was definitely a wake up call for some of the parents about keeping a closer eye on what was going on

Quornflakegirl · 21/01/2022 20:24

My girls are 9 and in year 4 and no one has a phone. Once you open this door it’s hard to close it.

manseymoo1987 · 21/01/2022 21:25

My year5 has my old iPhone. But there's no sim in it so really can only access roblox etc at home. They really want a 'proper' phone but not until their next birthday in year 6.

RagzRebooted · 21/01/2022 21:26

@altiara

I let my DC have a phone near the end of Y6 on their birthdays.
Exactly the same here and seems quite common, from what DD's said about friends. She definitely wasn't the last in her group to have one.
AddingMustard · 21/01/2022 21:43

DD is 9 and would probably say she has a phone.
We gave her an old one in lock down so she could listen to music and audio books (which we loaded onto the phone) as she was finding it hard to cope being in her room all the time. (DH was working in the living room)

We have relaxed a bit and she is now allowed to use FaceTime and messages to call and message me, DH and her grandparents. It can only be used on our Wi-Fi, doesn't have a sim and much to her disgust, has no games on it.

I know her best friend has just got a phone (messy divorce) but her mum and I decided that they're too young and have no need to contact each other independently yet. I'm not aware of anyone else in the class having a proper phone, although I don't have much contact with the mums of the boys in the class. Generally the children get them the birthday before they go to secondary.

opalescent · 21/01/2022 21:51

My ds had one recently, for his 9th birthday.
I agonised about it, but am really surprised at how positive it's actually been.
He spends every other weekend with his dad, and I love being able to stay in touch with him while he's away from me. It's also given him a sense of control over his contact with his dad, and this seems to have been very reassuring for him. They exchange lovely messages and FaceTimes through the week.
I take it at bedtime, and check through all apps/ internet use etc, although he really doesn't have the knowledge or wherewithal to be searching for anything inappropriate, he's very much not there yet.
His phone is linked to my iTunes account, so I have to approve any app downloads, and adult sites are blocked from the search engines.
He pretty much uses it for games and a bit of entertainment in the car. He's not on social media or anything like that.

I totally get why it's not for everyone, but it's been pleasantly and surprisingly positive here.