Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Year 4 and 9 years old in two weeks wants a phone Not sure?

95 replies

Chippingbird23 · 21/01/2022 15:21

She will be 9 in two weeks and for her birthday wants a phone. Her friends have one and do Snapchat together and she says most kids in her class have a phone. Actually in her words nearly everyone except me mum and why won’t you let me have a phone? 🙄

I’m thinking it’s too soon for a phone and she is still young? Do most kids have a phone at this age now?

OP posts:

Herecomesthesun70 · 21/01/2022 19:06

Most of our year 4 class have them along with iPads

BogRollBOGOF · 21/01/2022 19:08

Just done it as an 11th birthday present... mainly because it co-incided fairly neatly with me upgrading and was going to be required in the coming months.

I think it was about 50% in y5. I think the bans on children being allowed to interact with other children accelerated it a bit.
Coz virtual life is so much safer than letting children play in the real world.

thismeansnothing · 21/01/2022 19:08

DD is 9 and in Yr5 she is one of the few that doesn't have a phone. Most the kids in her class have had them for a couple of years now. But I'm sticking to my guns. She isnt having one till she's getting to school on her own.

thismeansnothing · 21/01/2022 19:09

And the ones she's getting will either be mine or DH when we upgrade

Fletchersromancing · 21/01/2022 19:09

My son was 10 when he got a phone but he only has it for a short while a day and I monitor it religiously.

delilahbucket · 21/01/2022 19:10

Absolutely not, and no snap chat either.

MeredithGreyishblue · 21/01/2022 19:11

Y5 10th birthday here.
They walk home in y6 so had enough time to get to grips with it. And I check it every night. Even now he's y6. And will do for a while yet!

Freecuthbert · 21/01/2022 19:12

9 year olds don't need phones. Even if he was the only one in the class (which he isn't by the way!), it doesn't matter. Snapchat is highly unsuitable at that age too.

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 21/01/2022 19:12

Most of the kids I know via work seem to get them at 11…. ready for secondary school.

I’m aware of a few younger.

DH’s godson is 10 and has the latest iPhone

Beamur · 21/01/2022 19:13

My DD was loaned a phone when she went out without us - year 6. She got her own phone (second hand iPhone) in yr 7.
We have shared iPads at home.
Keep a handle and an iron grip on your DD's access to these gadgets until she's old enough to use them sensibly. Ignore all 'everyone has them'
Be very careful of group chats and apps. Phones give internet access and that's a whole can if worms if you're not careful.

tpmumtobe · 21/01/2022 19:15

11th bday is the norm here, so at some point in Year 6. Even then do not assume that everyone has a smartphone or that everyone has this app and that app. There are several kids in DS1's friendship group (Secondary) without a phone at all or who only have a brick phone.

YouDoIDo · 21/01/2022 19:15

No way the only children that age at my childrens school with phones are the ones that walk home alone. My son got one for his 11th birthday just before secondary school and my daughter will get one this year for her 11th birthday ready for secondary school.

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 21/01/2022 19:15

My daughter year 5 now got hers on her 9th birthday. The majority of children in her class had one in year 4

audweb · 21/01/2022 19:16

My 8 year old has an old hand me down phone, no data on it so it’s basically a tablet as can only be used as WiFi.

She doesn’t live with her dad or brother, so it’s a line of communication. Also during lockdowns when I was working full time and she was alone for months with me it meant she could talk to her friends and family and play games with them, and do home schooling with my mum to ease the pressure on me.

So I’m of the opinion that they are not terrible for that age but need to me monitored and looked after carefully. Also she’s not getting data until 11/12 when she goes to high school and may be travelling by herself.

cherryonthecakes · 21/01/2022 19:16

Giving your dd Snapchat access is a terrible idea. The messages on there disappear w so she could be sent messages and pics and you'd have no clue when you checked.

ThievesTemple · 21/01/2022 19:16

We gave a phone at Xmas to our Year 6 child, apparently he was one of the last in the class.

I would honestly hold back as long as you can. There’s no way our child will be having Snapchat , tic toc etc but plenty do and hate to say but usually the ones who are more troublesome in the class have these apps.

BurntO · 21/01/2022 19:16

Mine is year 4 and their whole class doesn’t have a phone but easily half of them do. I gave him my old one during lockdown as he was so closed off from his peers. It’s a personal choice, had lockdown not happened he wouldn’t have been given mine but I was genuinely concerned about him not speaking with anyone else for months at a time and didn’t want to take it off him once her returned to school. I am super strict with it though.

greyspottedgoose · 21/01/2022 19:18

Mine are in year 2 and year 4 and both have phones, the contacts cost me £7 odd each a month with Tesco mobile, means they can contact their dad, grandparents etc without me having to be involved, older one keeps in touch with friends, mostly they play games on them I don't see the issue

SlashBeef · 21/01/2022 19:19

God no, my 9 year old doesn't have one and even when he does get one he won't be allowed Snapchat. He wants one when he goes into year 5 as he'll be getting the bus but I'm not sure it's necessary. We'll reassess in the summer.

CoddledAsAMommet · 21/01/2022 19:19

Absolutely no.
If you do, you'll be fuelling the 'everybody has them' argument, which makes it even more difficult for everyone else. Honestly, it would be a massive mistake.

AyeEee123 · 21/01/2022 19:20

No chance here. They get them on their 11th birthdays in Y6. They don’t go anywhere alone before then so why would they need one. They have iPads so can message their grandparents if they want to on that.

MichaelAndEagle · 21/01/2022 19:22

My 9 year old (year 5) has one as she walks to and from school herself now.
Its pretty much ignored when she's home, in favour of the ipad.

ScrollingLeaves · 21/01/2022 19:24

How difficult for you.
Everyone saying everyone else is doing something so everyone doing it is one of those phenomena that has a name I think.
No good comes of it but is it is very hard.

I have not rthft so maybe the same poster has already done this but there was a deleted thread yesterday where someone posted an article by the head of a well known school about why not to give them. I’ll see if I can find it.

By the way the thread was deleted because so many posters attacked the OP for wanting to keep her children away from all screens. People to confirm that what ‘everyone’ is being pressured into doing, including themselves, is the right thing. So I hope this won’t go the same way.

jackstini · 21/01/2022 19:27

No
Now they are back at school she doesn't need one to communicate and she's way too young for social media apps

Revisit at 11, school hols before senior school is usual

Both mine were 11 and only admitted then that there were only about 3-4 kids had phones at age 9

littlebluetrain · 21/01/2022 19:27

Go with your gut.

The ol' "because everyone else has one" reason is such a non-reason.

My nieces and nephew are all 9-10yrs old and have phones. It's depressing to see, especially since their parents don't have any rules around using them. One of the girls is constantly on Tik Tok and often complains that she's ugly. Another one of the girls has nothing to talk about apart from YouTube videos.

Flip

1 2 3 4