How to deal with being mistaken for younger and spoken to like a child

[Hatefreezingweather1]

This is nothing to do with attractiveness as this seems to enrage some posters for some reason, it's nor a boast, though I don't need to justify myself.

Work through an agency and many of the staff are around a decade younger than me. Yesterday I walked into a room and heard one say to the other 'aww, bless her'.
I've had someone speak to me in a baby voice that you'd use for a young child.
Once was in Boots speaking to a number 7 consultant, in the middle of the conversation she suddenly came out with 'Aww bless you you're so cute aren't you'.

The faux shock and surprised look when people find out my age is starting to grate a little bit.
I'm asked so often if I 'live with my parents'.
Called 'cute' by a few people and not cute in the way Americans would use it.
When I heard them say 'bless her' yesterday I actually turned round and said 'what?!' and they made up some story.
I know it isn't the end of the world but just gets annoying and patronising, how would you respond to this ?

I am quiet and softly spoken which doesn't help but I will try to work on things
Just have to wear black trousers and a top for work, I've got short hair which is usually just scraped back, don't wear make up as can't be bothered with putting it on every day

Tell people to fuck off abit more?

Hard stare, ask them to repeat themselves and then tell them you are an adult and would like them to extend to you the courtesy of speaking to you as one.

How old do they think you are? I've never heard anyone tall like that 'awww cute' to someone over 10!

Practice a resting bitch face.
The owl mumsnet "Did you mean to be so rude" works.
Yanbu.

Jewellery, make up, plain tops with no print and a lower pitch to your voice will all help.

Talk not tall! Am assuming you are late 20s at youngest given you are a decade older than people in your workplace?

I do need to be a bit firmer
I know many people would be flattered but I'm getting sick of being offered student tickets etc in shops and then laughing or whatever when they see my age
But I think it's society's obsession with youth and that it's desirable to be youthful

I'm 30 almost 31, my voice isn't too high pitched but I think the fact that I'm shy and quiet isn't helping
I'll try to be more assertive
But if they looked properly it's clear that I'm at least in my 20s

I don’t know how old you are but I’m 40 and had this all my life. I have a young voice as well I’m told.

I preempt it usually after really noticing the difference when people were awful to me when I had the kids. When talking about SPD a woman said to me “yours is hardly the same, you’re young! You’ll recover! Not like me, I’m 33!!!” Reader, I was 37.

So now I drop my age in as soon as I possibly can, so that we can have that awkwardness done.

Eye contact and directness.

I don't think it's anything to do with society's obsession with youth, not sure how you got to that conclusion from you looking young. A friend of mine is 38, but looks 14. She gets asked for ID, refused entry and ignored by people frequently and if we are out people have asked if she is my daughter - I'm 10 years older.
Noone says "Aw bless' though because that is really weird.

Eye contact and directness.

Hasn’t helped me either. I am bold as brass. People hate what they think is a bold young person.

Really, the only thing that has helped me is getting it in early with maybe “oh I’m so tired, since I hit xx age i really feel it.”

Better than being invisible, which is what happens to older women in our society

I have the same problem, I'm 37 but could easily pass for early 20. I'm petite, only 5'1 and slim and I'm from an ethnic background plus oily skin means I have great skin, and a round babyish face. I used to hate it but now I just appreciate it as I get older.

It was a problem I suffered from as well OP. People won't get it though and will think you're boasting or go on about "first world problems" It chips away at your confidence and self-esteem, and is just plain bloody patronising!

I don't have much advice, other than don't let it get to you. You certainly shouldn't have to change the way you dress or wear make-up if you don't want to - why should you have to?!!

One thing I will promise though OP - there will come a time when you will enjoy being mistaken for being younger than you are. I'm in my late 40s, and just last week someone told me she would have put me in my early 30s . If you look closely, I'm clearly not that young, but its said now as a compliment, and isn't patronising.

Hang in there!

I have this issue (I’m 35).

You gotta perfect the Paddington bear stare.

Are you sure it's your youthful looks which make people pity you and call you 'cute?' Because that is really bizarre, that's how you'd speak to/about a toddler lol.

I've always been taken as being younger than I am. People now think I'm about 60. I'm 74. Amuses me.

@HailAdrian

Are you sure it's your youthful looks which make people pity you and call you 'cute?' Because that is really bizarre, that's how you'd speak to/about a toddler lol.

And that's why it's so patronising. It does happen, it really does. I used to get people calling me "cute". It might be outside your experience, but it really does happen!

I am 40 but quite petite and sound a bit like a chipmunk

Only a couple of years ago I got teased mercilessly by someone quite senior at work. He called me on my mobile when I was at home, and thought a child had answered!!

@applepippa people generally assume I'm younger than I am but I don't get mistaken for a pre-school child.

@HailAdrian well lucky you.

It was said to me, its been said to the OP. What's your point?

@ApplePippa my point is, it's probably something other than your youthful looks if people are saying things like 'aw bless' to you. Unless you truly believe you are an adult who literally looks like a toddler.