How to deal with being mistaken for younger and spoken to like a child

[Hatefreezingweather1]

This is nothing to do with attractiveness as this seems to enrage some posters for some reason, it's nor a boast, though I don't need to justify myself.

Work through an agency and many of the staff are around a decade younger than me. Yesterday I walked into a room and heard one say to the other 'aww, bless her'.
I've had someone speak to me in a baby voice that you'd use for a young child.
Once was in Boots speaking to a number 7 consultant, in the middle of the conversation she suddenly came out with 'Aww bless you you're so cute aren't you'.

The faux shock and surprised look when people find out my age is starting to grate a little bit.
I'm asked so often if I 'live with my parents'.
Called 'cute' by a few people and not cute in the way Americans would use it.
When I heard them say 'bless her' yesterday I actually turned round and said 'what?!' and they made up some story.
I know it isn't the end of the world but just gets annoying and patronising, how would you respond to this ?

@HailAdrian that really is a strange interpretation! You've really never heard the word "cute" or the term "aw bless!" in any other context than to a toddler?

[quote ApplePippa]@HailAdrian that really is a strange interpretation! You've really never heard the word "cute" or the term "aw bless!" in any other context than to a toddler?[/quote]
Well yes, I said it sounds like pity...

@HailAdrian yeah right, like I said, strange interpretation...

I think you just want to argue black is white for the sake of it.

Work through an agency and many of the staff are around a decade younger than me. Yesterday I walked into a room and heard one say to the other 'aww, bless her'.
You're wrapping a few different things together. This is a weird comment, but nothing at all to do with your looks. They are pitying you; whether for having no work friends, or because of things you've said, or something else about you as a person.

Once was in Boots speaking to a number 7 consultant, in the middle of the conversation she suddenly came out with 'Aww bless you you're so cute aren't you'.
Similar situation here. She is being patronising because of something you actually said, not because of your looks.

I've been ID'd in my 30s, I've objected politely to someone calling me a "young girl" in a professional environment, and I've had to tell the GP several times that I'm a decade older than they think (pregnancy related). I know the small annoyances of looking a bit younger. What you are describing is not people responding to your looks, they are responding to your actions and words.

I get in all the time. People think it’s a blessing but it’s actually a curse. It’s only in about the last two years I’ve stopped getting regularly asked for ID to buy alcohol and I’m 38 🤷‍♀️

I am almost 40, only 4ft 11 and sound really young - it is so annoying when people do this. At work I have had clients be really patronising about my ability until I say how old I am and how much experience I have. I have found making a joke of it really helps and people usually apologise when they realise. However I am entering a new phase where ds who is 11 is now bigger than me and when we were out a couple of boys from his year were behind us and shouted who is your girlfriend at him he was mortified 😂

I used to have this issue. It really is annoying., the memories irritate me even now, when I have a face like a prune and would be foolishly flattered if it were to happen again.

Channel your irritation, and as a pp says practice your resting bitch face. Purse your lips and raise an eyebrow when someone looks like being patronising. That used to work for me. Sometimes.

Come on OP! Find your inner tiger. RAWWWRRR!

I had this - refused on a bus to accept full far, not allowed in pubs/nightclubs even with driving licence (paper in those days, they said it couldn't possibly be mine) , and thought when I got to 40 it was none and dusted. Nope, went for brunch in a fabulous venue near my friend, who I've known since we were both 5 and went through school together. Lady we chatted to on the next table asked, when my friend went off for the loo, 'Is she your mother?' Now I know I do perhaps dress younger than my age (colourful DMs and jazzy leggings that day - worn for comfort no other reason), but my friend does not look older than her age. Equally though we both have same eye and hair colour simply do not have ANY other features the same.

I find that those who comment that people will be pleased about in the future are just adding to the issue. The question I have is why is it acceptable to treat a young woman like this anyway? I remember how toothgnashing it was to be treated in a patronising way when I was young. It was a weird thing where people could be head patting one minute but if you stepped out of stereotype and disagreed about something people could almost take extra offence. Because it's also seeing you as cute or unthreatening etc. It is a problem for some women to be taken seriously when they have really high voices for example. But we need to question why we do this and of course it must be irritating to the recipient particularly if that person is quiet or shy as they will feel even less able to be taken seriously. Or get their point across. I don't know what advice but I think you should maybe just laugh and say not sure how old you think I am but I'm (state your age). And just get it out there. You could also refer more to things that are pertinent to your age. Argh thirtieth birthday coming soon. Or talking about bills or things associated with being adult. I also think may be not dwell on comments where you don't know what they were about, like the one where you walked into the room. It might be you are overconscious of it now. Maybe if someone says cute you could say thanks that makes me feel like a cartoon character or a fluffy toy. Or something to get it across without being too aggressive but makes it clear you'd rather they didn't call you that. I am sympathetic because I think this is part and parcel of how many very young women are treated and at whatever age it is annoying. But I do think you can find ways to assert yourself without having to be hugely confrontational or anything like that. Perhaps you need to bolster your own esteem a bit about taking your own views seriously so you won't feel so undermined.

by the way I wouldn't worry too much about the student thing. Students can be all ages and that's more to do with clothes etc I think. I'm quite often assumed to be a student over the years and I'm ancient!