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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

“If you are ever in the market we would be interested in your house”

247 replies

Foodfoodfoodie · 20/01/2022 21:48

We live in a desirable village in an expensive area. Today we had a letter through our door, summarised it read something like:

we are looking to move in the area and have flagged your home as one we would be interested in of you were in the market to move. If you consider selling in the near future we would love to hear from you and would be willing to negotiate a price around the X mark, which we believe to be higher than the asking price you would be recommended by an agent

AIBU to think this is really cheeky and intrusive? They are being very upfront about essentially eyeing up my home.

I’m not in the market to move but if I was they would be bottom of the list, regardless of money.

OP posts:
Kendodd · 20/01/2022 23:41

If you were selling it sounds mad to me that you would rule out people willing to pay more for your house and without EA fees for you because they put a letter through your door.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 20/01/2022 23:41

No one has ever put a note through my door

Not even the shite Estate Agent ones that have We have four couples looking to buy in YOUR street

Of course you do , Estate Agents , of course you do .

Foodfoodfoodie · 20/01/2022 23:41

@Ileflottante

in what way is it pushy and intrusive? It’s a letter, they didn’t let themselves in and follow you round the kitchen waving a sold board and demanding you sell immediately.

Cheeky? How? Again. It’s a piece of paper. If you’re not selling then you disregard it. The market is moving fast. They’re using their initiative.

Are you very young? It’s so common now. I also live in a ‘desirable and expensive’ area and not a week goes by where I don’t get a missive from an EA asking if I’m selling. I don’t get them so frequently from individuals but it’s happened a fair bit.

I’m 27, we’ve lived here five years but it’s only the last two years that everyone has been buying up like crazy as it’s a good commute to London

Grew up in the city and asked around if anyone had similar but it’s pretty unusual

OP posts:
PlanktonsComputerWife · 20/01/2022 23:42

I could have done without the neighbours wanting to come in and look around the house, the day before my FIL's funeral.Confused

The lady frankly said they'd been waiting for him to die for years so they could get it cheap, "because he was too old to look after it, so there must be a big discount."

In contrast, I think the expression of interest you received was really classy!

UserBot999 · 20/01/2022 23:42

It's the use of the words "we flagged it" that make me feel they went too far.

UserBot999 · 20/01/2022 23:44

Im 51, and if somebody "flagged" my house I'd think they lacked boundaries.

WomanStanleyWoman · 20/01/2022 23:45

It’s no different to getting a flyer from an estate agent asking if you’re thinking of selling. I get loads of those. Chuck it on the bin and move on with your life.

oviraptor21 · 20/01/2022 23:46

We get notes like this occasionally. Can't say I see a problem. I just bin them and assume that others in the street/area have received similar.

CarlynH · 20/01/2022 23:46

We put a politely worded note through a few doors, as we were keen to stay in the same area, but needed more space. One person tore up the note and posted it back through our letterbox! I guess he shared similar feelings to yours, OP! We eventually moved on to a better area of town. I would be flattered if I received a similar note now.

Tallisimo · 20/01/2022 23:49

Shows great initiative to my mind. Nothing to get upset about. They may have letter dropped a few other properties too.

Allsorts1 · 20/01/2022 23:51

From your reaction I guess the figure they gave was lower than you would expect so you’re a bit defensive about it? Just a guess but I could see how that would make you think they were being CF. Potentially they have worded it in a way to get your back up a bit “this offer is above what estate agents would value your home” isn’t a great way to bring people on side. Much better to say something like “we would offer X because we adore the property - please feel free to find alternative valuations but contact us if this would suit you.”

Foodfoodfoodie · 20/01/2022 23:51

@Christienne

…but I’m certainly not embarrassed about my opinion and still think it’s pushy, cheeky and intrusive

OP; AIBU?
(Almost) everyone; Yes
OP; no I’m not.

My Mum bought a house like this 40 years ago. It’s not a new or unusual practice and many more houses on your street will have received the same letter.

No like I get it if people think I’m being unreasonable and genuinely interested to see what other people’s opinions are on it

But I’m not embarrassed about my own opinion nor should I be made to

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 20/01/2022 23:58

Frankly I’d be delighted. It might prompt me to do the same thing.

moanyhole · 21/01/2022 00:06

My brother did this. The house wasn't on the market but the owner contacted him and told him he was actually thinking about selling. A month later he decided to sell and sold directly to my brother. Had it gone with an EA there would have been a high chance someone else would have gotten the house.

HelloFrostyMorning · 21/01/2022 00:08

No biggie. It's happened to us loads!

croon979 · 21/01/2022 00:13

I would take it as a compliment and rather nice to have a potential buyer in your back pocket if ever you do sell - not really sure why you are so affronted tbh

tricky29 · 21/01/2022 00:21

If I was moving to a specific area and ‘for sale’ signs were few and far between then I’d maybe do the same, you could save the seller ££££ in fees. There’s basic info on Zoopla and Right Move on individual houses (if you’re upset about that you can ask to have it removed).

If the message is polite and not pushy, I don’t see that there’s a massive amount of harm done.

bellsbuss · 21/01/2022 00:23

We get this all the time as we are metres away from an outstanding school. I don't find it cheeky or weird.

Aphrodite31 · 21/01/2022 00:26

@Foodfoodfoodie

We live in a desirable village in an expensive area. Today we had a letter through our door, summarised it read something like:

we are looking to move in the area and have flagged your home as one we would be interested in of you were in the market to move. If you consider selling in the near future we would love to hear from you and would be willing to negotiate a price around the X mark, which we believe to be higher than the asking price you would be recommended by an agent

AIBU to think this is really cheeky and intrusive? They are being very upfront about essentially eyeing up my home.

I’m not in the market to move but if I was they would be bottom of the list, regardless of money.

I'd be happy to save agents' fees. It's naive of them to try to dictate what price you should be happy with - they're just trying to offer a deal you'll take.

Don't overreact. If you had been thinking of selling, this could have been useful.

hohohosbeforebros · 21/01/2022 00:34

My ex's parents lived in the prettiest cottage in a really pretty street in a good location in a nice town, and had quite a few letters through the door over the years offering to buy it. They weren't interested, but always really flattered and chuffed by it. It's a complement surely! And if you did want to sell it'd be a nice advantage.

KaiKanWhenever · 21/01/2022 00:36

OP I think you are perfectly right to feel this is a bit off.

Regardless of it being common practice it does sound almost threatening, along the lines of 'an offer you can't refuse'.

It gives the impression to me of someone with more money than you just biding their time and almost expecting to get your home for themselves one day.

But the property market, from Mumsnet threads, is an insane sellers market right now, so I think buyers are being driven to these tactics.

It wouldn't put me off wanting to tell them to F*ck right off though!

WomanStanleyWoman · 21/01/2022 00:51

Regardless of it being common practice it does sound almost threatening, along the lines of 'an offer you can't refuse'. It gives the impression to me of someone with more money than you just biding their time and almost expecting to get your home for themselves one day.

Someone once threatened to buy my house and I couldn’t go out for a week, I was so traumatised. I still have flashback of the offer even now.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 21/01/2022 01:02

It sounds like I’m in the tiny minority, but I agree with you, OP. Obviously, lots of people do have success with the method, but that doesn’t stop it being intrusive, or at the very least very ‘forward’. Possibly if it’s a very sparse “Should you ever happen to be interested, could you kindly give us a call” – but using words like ‘flagged’ or ‘identified’ is way too much, let alone going on to tell you the price they’re looking at paying (or the SP for a ‘negotiation’, which could end up way lower once they feel they have their foot in the door and maybe start negging your house).

The bit saying "we'd pay more than if you put it on the market" is a bit weird/rude.

No, they said they’d pay more than the recommended asking price. Popular houses and/or popular areas frequently sell for significantly more than the asking price, which is often just the starting basis for negotiation – usually upwards. Only getting the initial asking price (or slightly more) on a house which will attract a lot of interest almost always means that you’ve been unusually unfortunate or taken advantage of.

These days, it’s so easy to set up an alert on Rightmove and also notify the local estate agents of your genuine interest – then, when it comes up, make the highest offer. Not bothering to do either of these would lead me to strongly suspect that, in spite of your claims to the contrary, you were hoping to get it at a considerably lower price than if it were put on the open market.

Yes, we've also had similar ones to this, aimed to guilt-trip and pull at the heartstrings. Imagine writing that to an elderly/vulnerable person? It's someone's home already.

We recently sold the house of a deceased elderly relative who also had mental health problems. ‘Luckily’ for her, in her final years, she was bed-bound and unable to look after herself or deal with her own post; but before she reached that stage, if she had received that letter, she would have found it incredibly intrusive and it would have burdened her mind and worried her constantly that somebody was wanting her out of her house so that they could have it instead. Of course, at her age, she was clearly approaching the end of her life, so she would probably have also worried that they might have been planning to engineer her needing to leave her home – lying to get her sent to a care home…. or worse. Her fear would have manifested with her frequently (likely for years, multiple times every day) shouting up loudly, ‘responding’ to the voices in her head about ‘these Robinsons from Elm Drive who want to get rid of me and take my house from me’: a huge source of distress for her and, indeed, incredibly intrusive. Yes, you don’t know if the current owner has MH problems/anxiety/vulnerabilities – but you also have no way of knowing that they don’t.

The property shows on tv recommend that buyers do this.

They also tell people to get in with an early offer on condition that the house be taken off the market immediately. We had somebody try this with us – and the offer we went on to accept was £20K more than his (on a standard Midlands doer-upper). They’re doing it to give the buyers an advantage – they don’t care about the sellers.

Have you never had an estate agents printed version through your door, they do it all the time? Same thing.

Completely different. A standard impersonal printed letter to ‘Dear Littleford Homeowner’ that’s obviously been pushed through the letterboxes of hundreds of houses in the area by an estate agent touting for business is nothing whatsoever like a personalised (even handwritten) letter ‘to the owner of 62 Acacia Crescent’ and from a named individual/couple rather than with the local EA’s standard letterhead.

Someone once threatened to buy my house and I couldn’t go out for a week, I was so traumatised. I still have flashback of the offer even now.

Are you elderly and/or do you have paranoia or other MH problems? Do you maybe have an abusive and/or violent ex-partner with a history of playing mind-games with you, in an attempt to gaslight you or just keep you on your toes in continuous fear of him/her? Hopefully not, but spare a thought for others who may well not be quite as fortunate as you are.

GrandmasCat · 21/01/2022 01:07

I get letters like that at least twice a month. I never thought they were just targeting my house, I live in a pretty street and I guess the whole neighbourhood gets letters like that all the time.

GrandmasCat · 21/01/2022 01:09

… the fact these messages are distributed by the same people who drops advertising and take away menus makes me think we are not that special Grin

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