I feel so disillusioned with how I thought my partner would be as a Dad

[PinkFing]

We have a young baby, our first and he is perfect!

He was planned and is loved by us both.

My boyfriend though hasn’t made any effort at all to grow up or change since we had him. He still goes out late after work (he works late) with his mates. He still wants us to go out to the pub with him on family evenings off.

Things just came to a head for me this evening as I’m preparing to get a train 3 hours away to my parents for the weekend alone and instead of helping me prepare for this he decided to go out with a mate to our local and has left me trying to convert the main seat of a buggy to the maxi cosi so I can travel. It sounds small but I’m fucking exhausted and rubbish with this stuff and now in tears trying to pack, look after DS and sort out the fecking travel system. AIBU or should I buck up?

Post edited by MNHQ

He sounds worse than a dickhead. He sounds like someone who has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Wanting you to take a young baby to the pub on days off is worrying - the odd time for a family birthday or meet up, fine, but sitting in a pub with a young baby so he can drink isn't on. There are lots of women stuck with gym/golf/cycling enthusiasts on here with similar complaints to you, but alcohol is much more destructive. How much does he drink in a week? If he’s an alcoholic you have bigger problems.

He's just a boyfriend. You can stay at your mums, she'll probably help you out and let you have some time to rest until you decide how to proceed with this.

@TearifficTaz

Had a baby

Why did you think he would magically change

What a silly thing to say

I was working, going to the pub, partying all weekend, travelling before I had a baby. And then I “magically changed”.
It’s not magic by the way, it’s normal - having a baby is supposed to change your lifestyle.

[quote UndertheCedartree]@TearifficTaz - everyone was immature once! And he's wasn't a numpty he was a very good hands on dad and still is.

My point was you said your social circle all moved to 'child friendly' socialising before you had DC as a natural part of growing up. But those of us who had DC young hadn't gone through that before we had DC. It doesn't mean we are bad parents![/quote]
No, but it's certainly reason number 1000 why having children young is less than ideal

Useless men don’t suddenly change when they have a baby