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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Concerns about this colleague who to be honest, is doing my head in.

34 replies

Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 18:36

Evening

So my main issue with this colleague, who is also a senior like me, is that there as aspects of her role that directly impact mine - and if she hasn't done what she is supposed to do, it means the service group we work with is unaccounted for and I have to spend time chasing her and investigating what has happened and why certain steps haven't been done, - all of which she was meant to do , before passing onto me to do my role (I can't say too much because I don't want to out myself , but we work with children and in education). Her communication when I'm chasing things up is absolutely awful too which doesn't help such situations.

I am new to this team, not the organisation, and I have noticed this bad practice is rife particularly with her. I raised this with my manager before Xmas (started in Nov) and he said he would speak with her and understood the issue.

When I also spoke to a assistant manager , in our one-to-one- because she asked me how I was getting on and if there were any issues with the team, I mentioned it to her briefly and said I had raised it with the main manager. She then said "I'm not making excuses for her but" and then proceeded to do so saying that she volunteers a lot and is the first to volunteer when it comes to helping the team.

I also have an issue with that because she doesn't communicate with me, but then pops up in the group chat saying "give me a chat if you need!" (Which in my opinion she does to show off to the managers above ) instead of actually doing her job.

Anyway , having returned to work this year, the issues are starting to rise again, and there were some back and forth emails this week and I had to c'c the manager , as he is part of the process also, but also because like I said, her communication is non-existent to shit, unless she's popping up in the group chat offering to give a hand.

I also had to send her an email yesterday , because again she had not done something she was meant to do which means the particular child is unaccounted for and I cannot do my job so have to bring it back to her.

I've noticed that now, what she does is c'c in our manager to everything - things that do not need to involve him and are just queries. She also now doesn't address me by name in emails , and in one of the emails was unprofessional and had a condescending dig at me.

This week I raised with the Assistant Manager these issues again with regards to processes not being followed and the impact on me (and I made sure to focus on it being a process issue as opposed to being a personal/team dynamic issue because I wanted to deal with that first and then later deal with the actual issues with this colleague) and again - she did the usual , she does so much bla bla bla crap (which tbh is the reason why she's not following practice is because she's busy volunteering to do things to look good and not doing her damn job)

She's also had issues previously when others have got the jobs that she has interviewed for, and is known to give them a hard time or have issues with them for this reason.

There was also a time (just before xmas) when someone asked a question in the group chat and I answered it and she quickly undermined me by asking the person who asked the question to give her a call to deal with it!

And there was a time also just before Xmas where it was me, her and another senior and we were discussions sessions with regards to best practices guidelines , and she shot down my input despite me being asked for it, I had to really push and hold my ground to put my role (I'm in a specialism) and how it would be useful to have a best practice session related to this (based on the bad practice I've seen , mainly from her), and then she "accepted" it. Like wtf

I have no desire to be in competition with this individual, we are both seniors and she is truly truly doing my head in.

I noticed the c'cd manager email before logging off today, and will deal with it tomorrow. Upon reading it I just thought "this email doesn't even make sense, and neither he or I need to be emailed with this".
And tbh I'm also tempted after replying to that email, to c'c the manager into the email I sent her this week when i emails her to understand why something had not been done and my concern about the child, and c'c him in asking her for an update next week.

Sorry if this post is all over the place , but I need to get this out and wonder if anyone has tips on anything I've said, or even just on her c'cing and whole games jobsworth malarkey.

OP posts:
Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 20:19

Bump

OP posts:
lljkk · 20/01/2022 20:27

ah, so she volunteers to do stuff (makes her look good)
when reality is
she doesn't get much done -- but takes credit nonetheless for being "helpful", right?

And is harsh in response to anyone who points out the crap job she's doing.

Blagger. Free-loader. self-important. Scam / Collegial con artist. World is full of them.

No idea what you do, I ended up being ultra polite pointing out to someone (cc everyone) how they hadn't even read any of the document they were telling me to rewrite in specific, oh so clever ways (because the document already did all the things they suggested - I cited line numbers). Thank Fig they withdrew their 'volunteering' on my project(s) after that.

lljkk · 20/01/2022 20:28

ps: but do kill with kindness. It doesn't have to be fake. More like ... "I can't be arsed to be as unpleasant to you as you deserve. I will be a model of professionalism instead."

KTheGrey · 20/01/2022 20:56

Well you have options. You can either create an email trail for every time she fails to do her job - and cc in management - until it reaches some kind of crisis, or you can start planning to move on. Either is possible. The killing with kindness is good.

Twillow · 20/01/2022 21:03

Politely (kill with kindness) pull her up in the group chat. 'X, do you need any help with x? '

Kshhuxnxk · 20/01/2022 21:27

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Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 22:16

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Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 22:18

@KTheGrey

Well you have options. You can either create an email trail for every time she fails to do her job - and cc in management - until it reaches some kind of crisis, or you can start planning to move on. Either is possible. The killing with kindness is good.
Sure, thanks for the suggestions. I think the former will have to be the next step to be honest.
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budlea64 · 20/01/2022 23:04

I am concerned that it appears to involve the welfare of children and your manager doesnt appear to be taking it on board. Do you have set procedures that should be followed? I think I would be tempted to have another meeting with the manager to escalate the exact issues, spelling out times when procedures werent followed and the actual/possible consequences.
Keep a log of the exact conversation so that if there are any comebacks you are the one who has tried to highlight the issues.
I think most of us have worked with someone who talks the talk but actually does very little.

Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 23:15

@budlea64

I am concerned that it appears to involve the welfare of children and your manager doesn`t appear to be taking it on board. Do you have set procedures that should be followed? I think I would be tempted to have another meeting with the manager to escalate the exact issues, spelling out times when procedures weren`t followed and the actual/possible consequences. Keep a log of the exact conversation so that if there are any comebacks you are the one who has tried to highlight the issues. I think most of us have worked with someone who talks the talk but actually does very little.
Thank you :)
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Definitelynotem · 20/01/2022 23:28

No help but just to say I sympathise. There is a man at my work who is exactly the same. All smiles for management and then nowhere to be seen all day, I often catch him logging on at 11am and missing important meetings. I’ve tried to raise it before as it impacts my work but no one’s ever done anything so now I just cc senior managers into any correspondence as a back up.

Quirkyme · 20/01/2022 23:50

@Definitelynotem

No help but just to say I sympathise. There is a man at my work who is exactly the same. All smiles for management and then nowhere to be seen all day, I often catch him logging on at 11am and missing important meetings. I’ve tried to raise it before as it impacts my work but no one’s ever done anything so now I just cc senior managers into any correspondence as a back up.
Hello to you.

Yeah I'll definitely be c'cing the manager in any correspondence tbh from now on, starting with that email I sent earlier in the week about something not done in relation to a child... I'm going to follow up on it and c'c him in.

I know we may be in different fields but sounds like we are in the same boat with regards to their behaviour impact us moving forward with our work, so I sympathise with you also. The shits.

How do you manage with the impact it has on your work?

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IsOk · 21/01/2022 06:59

There is at least one in every time, isn't there? Self important, desperately trying to cover up their deepest insecurity by undermining competent and perfectly pleasant colleagues in a grotesque display of passive aggressive unprofessionalism.

I would raise this directly and clearly with your line manager. She's throng obstacles your way, which is distracting you from focusing on your job. Ask for a meeting with your line manager in the first instance and carefully sass out their response to your issue. Agree next steps and timeline for actions and follow up meeting.

Depending on how your manager reacts, summarise your meeting and explain the problem briefly but accurately in an email to your line manager including agreed next steps. If bitchy colleague's interference puts services and kids at risk be very explicit about this, record it in the email and send to manager. If your manage is unprofessional and doesn't deal with this get HR and their manager involved. Good luck.

Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 08:34

@IsOk

There is at least one in every time, isn't there? Self important, desperately trying to cover up their deepest insecurity by undermining competent and perfectly pleasant colleagues in a grotesque display of passive aggressive unprofessionalism.

I would raise this directly and clearly with your line manager. She's throng obstacles your way, which is distracting you from focusing on your job. Ask for a meeting with your line manager in the first instance and carefully sass out their response to your issue. Agree next steps and timeline for actions and follow up meeting.

Depending on how your manager reacts, summarise your meeting and explain the problem briefly but accurately in an email to your line manager including agreed next steps. If bitchy colleague's interference puts services and kids at risk be very explicit about this, record it in the email and send to manager. If your manage is unprofessional and doesn't deal with this get HR and their manager involved. Good luck.

Thank you. Yes I'm going to look to do this , hold a meeting again and raise it
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SarahBellam · 21/01/2022 08:50

Don't let your manager fob you off with the 'she's volunteering' shtick. You have to nip that hard in the bud now and don't let them shut you down with it. Next time it's used an excuse say, "I appreciate that, AND it would be useful to have your input to help us decide how to get her to do her day job as well because, as I'm sure you realise, the volunteer stuff should be additional when she has free time available, not instead of the work she's supposed to be doing, because that is increasing risk and potentially having a negative impact on outcomes for our clients" (something like that)

Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 08:55

@SarahBellam

Don't let your manager fob you off with the 'she's volunteering' shtick. You have to nip that hard in the bud now and don't let them shut you down with it. Next time it's used an excuse say, "I appreciate that, AND it would be useful to have your input to help us decide how to get her to do her day job as well because, as I'm sure you realise, the volunteer stuff should be additional when she has free time available, not instead of the work she's supposed to be doing, because that is increasing risk and potentially having a negative impact on outcomes for our clients" (something like that)
Good idea, thank you. Yeah it was the Assistant Manager, I hate the fact she said "I'm not making any excuses for her but" then went on about her "volunteering", it's BS.

You're totally right, thanks for the suggestion of the response. I'll use that

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LowlyTheWorm · 21/01/2022 08:59

Urghh. Sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Is there any opportunity to have a senior colleague meeting with your boss and her (and anyone else at your level) present to discuss processes and issues. Eg you’ve noticed she hasn’t done x or y and it holds you up from doing z so is there an alternative way to do things? It means to look like you’re trying to tackle issues in a different way but you’re also highlighting her inadequacies. With witnesses.

Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 09:00

@LowlyTheWorm

Urghh. Sounds like a bit of a nightmare. Is there any opportunity to have a senior colleague meeting with your boss and her (and anyone else at your level) present to discuss processes and issues. Eg you’ve noticed she hasn’t done x or y and it holds you up from doing z so is there an alternative way to do things? It means to look like you’re trying to tackle issues in a different way but you’re also highlighting her inadequacies. With witnesses.
Hello, well when I raised processes issues , the Assistant Manager suggested holding a meeting about the issues in the next few weeks with myself, her and the manager...
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Ariela · 21/01/2022 09:05

I'd be discussing with your manager - yes she volunteers, but volunteering must surely not take priority over actual work being done, the lack of which has a serious impact on your work. Thereafter I'd BCC your manager with you communications requesting further info from her, as that's impacting your role and your manager needs to know she's not coping/dealing with the work in the required timeframe.

AnotherCupOfTeaDear · 21/01/2022 09:09

I just knew they'd suggest a meeting between the three of you!!! Cop out for the manager failing to manage
I'd decline as it may damage you working relationship and you've said everything to your manager already
Say you're happy for them to deal with it and hope it's resolved soon as you have bought it to their attention several times. I hope OFSTED aren't due in soon as they'll pick up if the children are being failed

NotJustACigar · 21/01/2022 09:22

I would set up a weekly report of progress where you highlight areas where you are waiting for further information, etc. Send this to you manager and the people who need to provide this info.

Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 09:26

@AnotherCupOfTeaDear

I just knew they'd suggest a meeting between the three of you!!! Cop out for the manager failing to manage I'd decline as it may damage you working relationship and you've said everything to your manager already Say you're happy for them to deal with it and hope it's resolved soon as you have bought it to their attention several times. I hope OFSTED aren't due in soon as they'll pick up if the children are being failed
Hello, yes a lot of what they Assistant M says is fobbing tbh.

To be clear, the meeting she suggested would be between myself, the Assistant M and the manager (not the useless colleague)... what do you think to that?

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Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 09:27

@NotJustACigar

I would set up a weekly report of progress where you highlight areas where you are waiting for further information, etc. Send this to you manager and the people who need to provide this info.
Oh good idea. So like a list of actions pending that I'm still waiting on?
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NotJustACigar · 21/01/2022 09:29

Yes a list of actions, takes the emotion out of it and keeps it just to the facts.

Quirkyme · 21/01/2022 09:30

@NotJustACigar

Yes a list of actions, takes the emotion out of it and keeps it just to the facts.
Good idea, thank you. Dreading even starting it, there's quite a few already AND I know it's going to pile...
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