To just want to say f*ck it all??

[MrsWarleggan]

In the words of John Coffey: "I'm tired boss"

Tired of being a mum.
Tired of being a wife.
Tired of running a home.
Tired of work.
Tired of figuring out what to do for dinner....every...single...God damn day.
Tired of making lunches.
Tired of putting two loads of washing every day.
Tired of hanging two loads of washing on the airer every day.
Tired of putting away two loads of washing every day.
Tired of checking if homework is done.
Tired of making time to have a shower.
Tired of ensuring the bills are paid each month.
Tired of working out the split for childcare between vouchers and actual money.
Tired of working out how much surplus there is each month and how much we can/can't save.

So very very very fucking tired.

I know I'm being unreasonable, just needed a vent and to get my thoughts our my head!!!

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Probably thoughts that go through my head on a regular basis too.
It is OK to say f**k it for a little bit - have a nice bath or warm shower & look after yourself for a bit. You need it too.
Sending hugs x

You are not being unreasonable!! Why isn't your husband helping you with all of this?

Where's the partner in all of this?

YANBU. I've just become a single mum and I know it will get easier but for now I just want to pause the world while I get our home straight and then catch up with work stuff.

But every single day food needs cooking, the dog needs walking and all the usual chores need doing.

I find myself daydreaming about having a small illness/operation just to get some time off. Like having a tooth out or something.

Couldn't agree more!

Husband fucked off with his PA and left me and his 1yo DD so been doing it all on my own for years!

Could have written this... I asked my DH (who has been away with work for 2 weeks while I've been stuck in isolation with 3 kids under 5, all with COVID) today if you can yourself appendicitis.

Minor op sounds like bleeding luxury at the moment.

The constant monotony of it is exhausting! Hope one of the kids does or says something sweet imminently to make it a bit more worthwhile.

You are not at all unreasonable. We all go through phases of this.

I hope your husband helps with all of this.

You're not being unreasonable at all. I've spoken to lots of people who are feeling like this recently. On top of normal, every day stresses and frustrations the weather is miserable, the News is miserable, the pandemic has been miserable and we've all had enough. Can you leave the kids with your DH and do something nice for yourself this weekend, even if it's just for an hour or two?

Not unreasonable. It's bloody hard to keep going sometimes!

Try letting go of the reins a bit, 2 loads of washing a day is alot, unless you have lots of kids

This wasnt supposed to be a DH bashing thread. He does his best! He works 12 hour days with 45 minute journey to and from work. He's gone by 5.30-6.00 and some nights isn't in till gone 7.

I'm just exhausted and fed up of the monotonous routine. I haven't had a day/night out on my own since June.

I just to wake up one morning and not have to do ANY of the above listed shit and go to bed knowing I haven't got to do the above for tye following day. Just 48 blissful hours.

I constantly feel like I'm begging Peter to pay Paul (in a time sense) so that I can have 5 precious minutes in the morning to drink a lukewarm coffee!

Just a bit overwhelmed and dare I say...bored???

Me too, OP, me too. YANBU at all.

YANBU
I could have written this myself! You’re doing a fabulous job and I hope you can find time to have a night to yourself soon 💐

Is there any family close by that would be willing to have them for a night or two so you can get a break away to recoup?

Think of your day as a big glass jar. All your tasks are a million grains of sand. Now take three pebbles which each represent something you are going to do for yourself. A bath, half an hour with your book, a hot coffee, run- whatever.

Now put those pebbles in first then add the sand. It will trickle through and all fit in. If you try to cram the pebbles on top of the sand they won’t fit.

Three small pebbles a day. It’s not a cure for tiredness but it does help reframe your needs as being important. Something in the house will slide over to make time. Are the kids old enough to be helpful? If so make sure they do their bit. It’s a hassle at first but worth while and makes sure you aren’t taken for the house slave.

Try it.

It's only normal Op for you to feel this way. My son doesn't sleep til gone 2 am and has to have supervision 24.7 so much hard work and then I work too and have to get daughter and son to school . Xx have a nice bubble bath and relax for half.hour

How many kids have you got? 2 washloads a day?
Aren't there any grandparents who could lend a hand? (Not with the washing necessarily).

@MatildaTheCat

Think of your day as a big glass jar. All your tasks are a million grains of sand. Now take three pebbles which each represent something you are going to do for yourself. A bath, half an hour with your book, a hot coffee, run- whatever.

Now put those pebbles in first then add the sand. It will trickle through and all fit in. If you try to cram the pebbles on top of the sand they won’t fit.

Three small pebbles a day. It’s not a cure for tiredness but it does help reframe your needs as being important. Something in the house will slide over to make time. Are the kids old enough to be helpful? If so make sure they do their bit. It’s a hassle at first but worth while and makes sure you aren’t taken for the house slave.

Try it.

This is clever. I wish I had thought of this idea when my children were still at home.

@MatildaTheCat

That is a very good idea. Thank you 😊

The washing is never ending, there's only 4 of us. DD2 gets pretty grubby and is often changing. DH gets very dirty at work, bed linen, towels etc. We only have a really small capacity washing machine....maybe I need to get a bigger washer!!

Yanbu. It’s relentless and it’s boring. It wears you down and you get no thanks. I’m tired too.

Same, I was trying to decide what kind of minor surgery or illness I'd need to be bed ridden for a week, ideally in patient.
I'm only half joking. But "stop the world, I want to get off" comes to mind.

That's an excessive amount of washing....

Oh I like the pebbles thing.

I think also if I were still married/ married again it would be important to make a bit of time for each other each day. To sit and chat/ have a glass of wine or cup of tea together. Where you’re just yourselves and not “colleagues” in raising children/ thinking about work. Just what I’d like to do if I had that element to my life again.

I’m trying to make there be something nice about every day - whether it be a run/ walk / swim/ a bath/ yoga/ a really nice meal - whatever makes each day have an enjoyable element to it.