Interesting to see such an even split of views. I’ve been trying to figure out why the responses saying it’s a compliment are bothering me a bit, and I’ve realised it’s because some people don’t seem to want to interrogate the idea that it’s flattering to be complimented on weight loss at all. It seems to have been unthinkingly internalised as something women, in particular, are automatically supposed to be pleased to be complimented on, which depresses me.
It's just so reductive (no pun intended) and, yes, somewhat sexist imo. Health considerations aside, I do feel women are expected to buy into all the slimming propaganda simply because they are women. An ex once informed me that before meeting me (at a time when I was happy with my weight and not dieting) he’d ‘never met a woman before who wasn’t on some sort of diet’, and it was said with more than a tinge of disapproval. People with that mindset do exist, and the really depressing thing is that they’re not all male.
I'm really not trying to parrot Fat Is A Feminist Issue here, but I do sometimes get the feeling society hasn't evolved much from the days when that book was written. I’ve been various sizes in my time and I can honestly say I don’t enjoy receiving ‘compliments’ when I’ve lost weight. I make the right noises so as not to upset people, and I appreciate that they’re trying to make me feel good, but inwardly, no I don’t particularly enjoy the feeling that I’m supposed to jump up and down and clap my hands together because someone’s noticed my body size has changed. Compliments on, say, a professional or creative achievement? Bring it on. But being expected to be thrilled when someone coos, 'Have you lost wei-eight?' in a silly mawkish voice (@crosbystillsandmash I know exactly what you mean about the sing-song voice!) with an encouraging little smile as if I’m an eight-year-old who's just won a colouring competition? Not so much. And I don’t comment on other people’s weight loss either, unless they ask for my opinion. TBH, I don’t feel it's appropriate - as some posters have pointed out, people often bulldoze past the fact that the weight loss might be illness-related - particularly if it's a sizeable loss - and comments might cause upset.
Each to their own, but as far as I’m concerned it’s not appropriate to comment on someone else’s body at all unless asked to, simple as that. And I don’t believe we do ourselves any favours as women when we buy into the idea that it’s flattering when people make unsolicited comments about our bodies. People don’t (on the whole) do it to men, and for me that’s significant.