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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want childs friends to walk into my house everyday

57 replies

underthesea123 · 19/01/2022 15:09

AIBU ..but everyday (give or take a day here or there) dd friends wander back with us. One lives closer and its sort of on route so cant avoid our house, the other friend has to travel by car but they have to park nearby our house - but often choose to then walk past their car to walk down to the outside of my teeny house - and choose to have conversations with each other (parents this is) whilst the kids all play in my teeny front garden.
Often the kids all want to go inside my house now at no point do the parents check with me if this is ok. At no point do they ask what I think. They just speak to their own child and say ok - give a time limit and never stick to it. In the summer they all wandered through the house to the back garden which then left me constantly walking through to check while the 2 parents chat to each other and let me get stressed - some days this has been 20 mins before ive managed to hoof them out.

Some days the kids are asking at the top of the street - and once again im not even considered - they just assume im okay with it and say ok but just 5 minutes when we all know its never 5 minutes.

Recently one parent has been letting themselves into the house - my house isnt a mess but on occassion it just has some family clutter that if I have guests would be tidied up a bit more. This then makes me feel on edge and i just find it rude as said parent isnt particularly chatty and just seems to want to get in from outside more than be friendly and have a cuppa.

I cant do this to either of the other parents - as one is a car distance and the other means im walking past my house and out the way.

I became a sahm during pandemic and the others are working and usually do go home to continue work. i feel like since i've become a sahm they think I have all the time in the world to accomodate their darling children. If we get out sooner and walk home alone I have even witnessed the other 2 stopping outside mine for chit chats. I just find it all a bit bizarre.

If it was occasional fair enough but its happening almost daily and I just like to get in sort kids out and prep tea - or get ready for after school activities but I equally dont feel I should be put in this position to have to say not today when the parents don't consider me?

OP posts:
CorsicaDreaming · 19/01/2022 19:20

Maybe they just think you are all friends and enjoy chatting with you?

I would be careful about doing anything that may break completely the friendships as it is very valuable to have people to have a chat to, especially in these times and especially if you're now at home a lot.

Just be careful you don't lose something that you don't realise how valuable it is until it is gone

We moved house about a year ago, and had lived in our previous terraced house for 20 years. Most days I would stop on the street and have a brief inconsequential chat with a neighbour or two.
I miss it.
I don't regret moving and have met a lot of other friendly people locally, but we no longer live in quite such a tightknit terraced community and I am surprised how much those little chats were an important part of my life

Muthalucka · 19/01/2022 19:53

Can you just send the kids out as soon as they come in or just get your kids in the house asap…

Cheekypeach · 19/01/2022 19:58

Walk around topless or in t shirt and knickers. And smoke indoors. Offer the kids a WKD. Say the vaccine is a load of bollocks and covid is a hoax.

They’ll never let their kids near your house again.

Tiredmum12389 · 19/01/2022 20:05

We had something so similar, i felt I had been quite assertive but either the parent didn't want to hear it or just ignored me. They didn't get the message at all. We put a fence up round the garden, drastic. It stopped them being able to stand out there easily. We blamed the fence on the dog. Worked a treat. X

Iputthetrampintrampoline · 19/01/2022 20:08

You are leaving school on your way home start there laying the foundations,,pretend to be grumpy,pretend to be tired just moan constntly and loudly that you can;t wait to get home kick your shoes off and have some peace, keep this moaning up til you get to your door then say right kids (to yours only obviously!) in you go see you all later,Then go shut the door and lock it, Or do what any normal person would do and say right see ya and just go rude or not if anyone dares say anything say ffs havent you lot got anything else to do co I have and still go! Big girl pants OP your life,your terms your needs and wants trump anyone elses,

Rogue1001 · 20/01/2022 19:29

I was thinking about this thread today and wondering how things went @underthesea123

Magnahot · 10/08/2025 21:13

dottymac · 19/01/2022 17:21

Yanbu. It must be lovely to have their kids entertained at someone else's house, while their house gets to stay clean while they get to sit on their arse and have the host fetch cups of tea and snacks. Some people absolutely rip the piss. I feel for you - my experience is being the host playdate house 90 Percent of the time and it's so annoying! It especially got my back up when mums would all take the opportunity to sit down chatting amongst themselves while I ran about my home watching all THEIR kids, tidying, fetching snacks, getting other toys, refereeing fight -for YEARS!! But I found that if I didn't host them noone else offered and the kids missed out. It got right on my t*TS though. Some people take a mile if you give an inch ,🤷

@dottymac wow you have been stewing on this for years

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