to think that I cant be the only person who's brain just fucks off occasionally?!

[PyongyangKipperbang]

I just asked Alexa to "Go down....two....volumes" and then started laughing at myself! Alexa, not unreasonably, said "Hmmm...I'm sorry..." :o

I had a friend years ago who couldnt get the word she was looking for and said she was looking to buy "you know... you hang stuff up on it.....a coat.....tree?" She meant a hat stand!

@Norgie

Menopausal brain fog almost ended all sanity as I knew it. It would go something like " can you pass me the thingy off the do da please " One of " those efforts, whatsits " was another. In a temper I told my DH to get fished instead of get fucked.

Get fished 😂😂😂

Yep sometimes someone will ask a question (like did you do anything at the weekend) and my brain will blank on me 😂

Feeling so much better reading all these- might I contribute 'smalling down' instead of minimising re screen size etc!

Couldn’t think of the word for “rotary dryer” and called it a “laundry tree”, which honestly I like better.

“The square flat that when it’s in the hot thing it’s toast” - bread.

And

“The milk holder sucky thing” - bottle.

Wheezing at danger blankets, that’s definitely my favourite!

@readyshreddiescook

Oh I love this thread!

I have newly returned to work and find myself saying “morning” when it’s 5pm or “thanks for calling” when I called them…

When I was at school we were allowed to go up to the teacher and ask for spellings of hard words. I went up and asked her how to spell 'all'....she just stared at me and then slowly wrote it down!

When DD was a newborn, I tried to ask DH for nappy cream but ended up asking for the 'poorly bum pot'

Asked husband if the shirt he was trying on in a shop was the right length for his hand ankles (wrists)

Said at the end of a TV episode well that was a figleaf (cliffhanger)

We now use both regularly.

I was trying to find the word quilt and said bed curtain. Then eventually found the word duvet, only for them to say they call them quilts. I had to say I did too. 🙈

People that know me well are fine about it but I feel like an idiot sometimes!

Regularly call the fridge 'the cold thingy'

Asked my DD11 yesterday 'where's the thing you do the thing with?'

Translation: where's the hairdryer?

My brain has left the building lately. I’ve got so much going on that I can’t remember anything.

I was trying to give someone directions to my house yesterday - they needed to turn right opposite the “shop of cars”

I totally couldn’t remember the word for garage/car dealership.

Also, at my last farrier appointment for my horses, I booked the next one but forgot to write it down, so needed to ring him to find out when it was - couldn’t remember what his name was, or what he actually is so had to Google horse “horse hoof doctor” to get the word “farrier” so I could search it in my phone contacts.

Couldn't think of the word 'postcode' last week when I was telling ex-Fil how to get to my house .. "just put my codename in [the GPS].." got a bit frustrated when he kept saying which codename? 😂

Shoe carpets is excellent
This thread reminded me of this

I love this thread! I have a few but the one I can never ever get right is unmarked police car - it always comes out as plainclothes police car....

Dd followed me around for about 30 minutes last week as I went from room to room doing stupid things. Took dishes to the washing machine, stood in the kitchen wondering why it wasn't the bathroom for an embarrassingly long time, brought new toilet rolls to the living room instead of the toilet, turned lights on as I left rooms, and when she asked what I was doing I said I was fixing the house, it's broken. It is not, but I think I was. We decided I should probably sit down until it passed before trying to make any food.

DH has recently told the kids to use the foot towel after their showers. They think it's hilarious and it's the new name for bath mat in our house.

This thread title proper made me LOL!

And yes! My brain does just 'fuck off' occasionally.

My DH finds it really hard to recall names - especially names of actors/singers. He often has a whole conversation about 'matey' until he says something that lets me know who it is. This week's example 'that matey is in a new series on TV. You know, Karl's mate. Tall' Me???? DH 'That Office blokes writing partner'. Ah - Stephen Merchant.

I was once talking about foreign holidays where people sit on the beach under their...under their...under their paracetamols.

I bring you 'word lip' (lip read)

Yes! I'm decorating & couldn't think of the word "skirting-board" so it was "the wood on the floor, not on the floor, next to the floor, by the side of the floor, you know, the bit, the bit of wood, it's on its side, sideboard! No, not sideboard, the little wood on the floor..." Husband guessed it eventually.

I have brain farts constantly.

OO yes this is me. More recent words were arm hinge for elbow and cold cupboard for the fridge.

I've done this most of my life. A very kind friend reckons it's because I'm a translator and my brain just gets fed up of all the words and, as OP says, fucks off.

I once tried to say "People are odd sometimes" and it came out as "People are people sometimes".