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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What motivated you to lose weight?

138 replies

Ste23321 · 17/01/2022 21:57

Nothing has helped motivate me so wondering how others got motivated. My health is deteriorating so you would think that would be a big motivator! But it’s not. What motivated you?

OP posts:
JulieGoods · 18/01/2022 07:27

Getting a blood sugar monitor and seeing how much I'd fucked up my health.

Not wanting to shop for clothes.

Not wanting to go out.

Not wanting my daughters to think being obese was aspirational.

Gone from a size 20 to a size 10 and I'm so much happier.

User48751490 · 18/01/2022 07:28

Going for annual health MOT, practice nurse said there's no kind way to say this but you have put weight on since last check.... someone unrelated to me saying this makes me take notice.

I am currently in the process of doing something about it. Have around 1st to lose.

stairgates · 18/01/2022 07:34

Bookmarking to come back and read everyones replies for inspiration, I am definitely at the point of needing to stop the excess eating. Just had the last of the kids released from isolation so am hoping to increase my exercise first with some extra walking now we are allowed out again.

PureBlackVoid · 18/01/2022 07:45

Seeing myself on the ring doorbell
The types of clothes I like would be uncomfortable and unflattering on me so I live in joggers, leggings and cardigans. Really hate when I have a ‘thing’ to go to as it makes me downhearted when trying to find nice clothes. As a result I’ve become a bit of a hermit to avoid shopping!

I’ve been doing MFP and I’m actually sticking to it this time (except for when I had Covid recently and all I could seem to stomach was fried food and bread…)There’s a degree of flexibility with calorie counting, as I can still eat the foods I enjoy but either less of them or make ‘better choices’. It’s easier to avoid mindless eating when I see it written down. Other diets, keto etc are too restrictive and not sustainable for me long term.

Kione · 18/01/2022 07:46

Dr. Telling me I had a fatty liver

BettyfromBristol · 18/01/2022 08:28

A health scare and wanting to give my body its best chance. Being slim and active makes me feel so much better.

Not wanting to put on lots of weight at menopause like my mother, aunt, sisters and cousins did.

Buying size 8 jeans and not having bigger alternatives in the cupboard so I have to stay slim or wear my pj's!

LindaEllen · 18/01/2022 08:39

One of my really close friends is getting married at the end of this year, and the thought of having to wear any kind of nice outfit looking like this is grim. I was really fat growing up and from the age of 20 I lost 12 stone over 2 years, and kept it off until lockdown, when everything went pear shaped for me. My anxiety was through the roof and I was home all the time - ended up gaining 4 stone. That HAS to come back off. I've done it before and I can do it again .. but it's not nice or easy.

Ste23321 · 18/01/2022 08:40

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I am finding it very difficult to motivate myself. I cry every day about my weight. I have stopped going out (apart from work). Random people ask me when I’m due and laugh when I say I’m not actually pregnant. I hate it. MIL smiles when she sees me - not in a kind way but a horrible nasty way. I was 7 stones on my wedding day snd now I weigh 11 stones.

OP posts:
Ste23321 · 18/01/2022 08:43

@nadiamumoftwo that is amazing! Please share with us how you shifted so much weight

OP posts:
Florador · 18/01/2022 08:49

Sorry OP that you are having a tough time with it.

I think you have to find your personal motivation, which will be different to other people's.

For me, it's all about the cause of the bad eating/less exercising. Try to identify that. I've had counselling, btw, to help me with it.

My causes are low self esteem & anxiety. I know I lose weight whenever the things that cause my anxiety feature less in my life (like my abusive ex). It flares up from time to time whenever something to do with him pops back up again.

Since identifying the cause, I have changed my mindset to "shall I do some exercise today?" to "when shall I do exercise today" - no matter what it is, or how long for, I make sure I get something in (a walk, yoga, run, swim etc)., because exercise always, always makes me feel better afterwards.

BusterGonad · 18/01/2022 09:36

May I ask are you actually over weight Op? When you were 7 stone were you a healthy weight?

Ste23321 · 18/01/2022 09:40

@BusterGonad my bum at the moment is 30.2 as I’m 5”0 tall. I should be around 7.7 stones

OP posts:
Ste23321 · 18/01/2022 09:41

Lol! Not bum meant BMI

OP posts:
Leftbutcameback · 18/01/2022 09:48

I like the PP who talked about body positivity. I'm going to try that approach, even if it's more like body neutrality. I have a journal on the way to help with this. I don't want to feel at war with my body, and feel like if I could focus on giving it good nutrition that would be a sustainable way forward. Good luck OP (and your bum! That made me laugh!)

AwaitingSueGraysInvestigation · 18/01/2022 09:57

Years ago I moved house and was sorting out the wardrobe. I realised that I had it divided into two sections -- one part full of nice clothes that I no longer fitted into, and the other part full of slouchy 'slubwear' that fit me, but wasn't in any way nice or flattering. And the 'nice' part was three-quarters of the wardrobe space.

Realising that three-quarters of my clothes didn't fit and that was just wardrobe stuff kicked me up the arse.

Long story short, I lost 22kg (sorry, I don't do stones -- about three and a half maybe?) and ended up retraining as a personal trainer. It's still my second career.

LittleGwyneth · 18/01/2022 09:59

@Acrasia

This is going to sound a bit counter intuitive, but I watched a lot of plus size body positive youtubers, particularly those who were the same shape as me, and seeing what styles suited them so that I could dress in clothes that fit me and I felt good in. That then made me love myself, and accept my body as it was, which motivated me to treat it well, and accept that it won’t be perfect all the time. Previously, I had always been motivated by a self-hatred, which in the end caused me to fail because I was never good enough, and my body didn’t change fast enough or whatever.

The next step was to find a diet that suited my lifestyle, they are not one size fits all. You are guaranteed to give up if the diet is making you miserable. I tried a few out and rather than berating myself for failing, I moved onto a different way of doing things. I have now lost ten stone by intermittent fasting, limiting my carbs and calorie counting. It is a lifelong adjustment with a lot of flexibility, which works for me. I know someone who lost about the same on SW, but that was a constant fail diet for me.

Not counter intuitive at all! There's oodles of research to suggest that the better you feel about your body the more likely you are to maintain weight loss. Working from a place of 'I am worthy and valid' is MUCH more productive than a place of 'I am a slug who must starve until I am thin and no longer disgusting.'
babyboyHarrison · 18/01/2022 10:03

[quote vilamoura2003]@babyboyHarrison I'm so sorry to ask and tell me to bugger off but what illness did you have that made your blood pressure rise?

Mine went through the roof recently and all they did was put me on blood pressure tablets without wanting to know why. I'd love to stop them and see whether it is still high 6 weeks later but they want me to just keep taking the pills 😔[/quote]
Hi, no offence. I had a chest infection, but to be honest I always feel anxious having my blood pressure taken so that doesn't help. I think it was 165/?. Two weeks later and recovered it was 140/? and I've just taken it now and it is 131/85. Obviously still a bit high but I am still loosing weight. If it is still the same in another month or two then I will probably go to the doctors about it.

flashpaper · 18/01/2022 10:07

I think it's a number of things that have inspired me.
Obviously all the normal things - the way I feel being this heavy, buying clothes, appearance, health etc, but some of it is that my sister has lost loads of weight and now I look at her and hope that I can do it too. She looks amazing, I want to be able to stand next to her and not be embarrassed.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/01/2022 10:13

Last summer I struggled to keep up with DDs.
I dontvwant to do that this summer.

Thats what I'm trying to keep in my mind.

babyboyHarrison · 18/01/2022 10:14

[quote Ste23321]@babyboyHarrison well done! Do you mind sharing how you lost? I keep telling myself it won’t make any difference what I do as I’ll still be fat[/quote]
I started off just eating healthier. Porridge for breakfast, lot fat yog and frozen fruit smoothie for lunch (sometimes with some added oats or peanut butter) and supper largely as normal but plenty of veg and protein and not much carbs. I cut out all other snacks. I then started using some meal replacement plan food (new you plan) as I found part of my problem was when I got busy at working wouldn't eat properly so I needed something quick and easy to have so I wouldn't snack. I did stick with that plan mostly till Christmas. I put some back on at Christmas and now back where I was again. I've been making sure to get my 10,000 steps in and I jog on the spot for 5 mins morning and afternoon to get my heart pumping. Sure I look like a loon to my neighbours, but I fit it into my day easily so I stick with it. I've gone down a dress size and a bit and now find it much easier to run after the kids. I want to loose another dress size. I always used to feel that it was too much weight to loose so I never really even tried. Now I'm actually trying I'm finding I can do it, and it's not as bad as I thought. If I continue at a similar rate I could be at my target weight by my birthday end of April. Fingers crossed. Good luck.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 18/01/2022 10:17

I'd put myself under what for me personally was an enormous amount of stress doing a degree equivalent vocational qualification taken in a foreign language whilst working shifts and with three school aged children - when I passed my final exams during lockdown one (our exams went ahead as normal but with masks) the stress lifted and I felt ready.

I'd put the weight on through pregnancy and a toddler who didn't sleep and low grade but persistent background worry about being dependent as a trailing spouse in a country where my existing UK qualifications aren't recognised, so generally finishing the qualifications at a time the youngest child no longer woke me at night removed years of stress.

My health worries had been building during the last year of my course but I think it was partly psychosomatic stress reaction exascerbated by my revising for medical related exams and partly peri-menopause! I had become particularly worried about heart disease.

I lost 45 kg/ 7.5 stone through intermittent fasting and cutting right back on processed sugar and simple carbohydrates (not low carbing as I didn't change how I eat complex carbohydrates in whole foods, just processed ones).

Basically its hard to lose weight if you're in a bad place, under stress, chronically tired etc. and easy if you're relaxed, feeling relatively good and have a bit more time to cook properly, take a form of light exercise you enjoy, and are not feeling as though unhealthy foods are your only "treat" or self indulgence.

It's a bit unfair but I find you can only lose weight and keep it off if you are already in a "good place" psychologically. Its the reason fat shaming and "hitting rock bottom" doesn't work with long term weight loss, because people who are overweight usually have a habit of turning to food as a crutch/ comfort/ consolation / to numb stress.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 18/01/2022 10:18

At my highest I was 28st 9Ib. You’d think the health issues or not fitting in restaurant booths would’ve motivated me but bizarrely it was a vomiting child!

I’m a nanny and the child I was looking after was chronically travel sick and we were on a bus with a nanny friend when he spectacularly threw up all over us. We got off the bus, she dived into primark and grabbed a change of clothes and I couldn’t fit into anything from there or any local shops so spent the day covered in vomit and I just thought this is utterly ridiculous.

I’m down to 20st so still a way to go but when he threw up on me again last year, I was able to dive into a shop and buy some (albeit stretchy 😬😁) clothes!

BusterGonad · 18/01/2022 10:24

I think the best thing you can do Op is be kinder to yourself, wear nice clothes, put on make up if you like it, once you start seeing yourself in a, different light I think you will start to care about yourself more and gradually stop punishing yourself. For me once I start taking care of myself it then starts to flow naturally.

Steelesauce · 18/01/2022 10:25

The first time round, it was my abusive ex calling me a 'fat mess and who would want you' showed him and lost 3.5 stone in 4 months. Since then I've been up and down a stone, depending on what going on in my life. I always go straight back on my fitness pal the minute my size 12s get tight.

CaptainChannel · 18/01/2022 10:26

A picture of me at a Christmas concert in 2019. I looked horrible. I lost 3 stone in the first half of 2020 and have kept it off to date.