@Dullrugby
I'm asking two things.
a) You have a job where you finish at 5pm. Yet have no support between 3 and 5pm. Who cooks for the kids and does all the other household/homework stuff with them? Or do you do it all from 5pm? My children wouldn't be able to wait til 6 for dinner and certainly don't want to do spellings etc after 6.30pm. I need someone doing wifework from 3.15!
b) I totally get the flexibility. I work in consultancy & can do the work whenever I want but I don't know how you manage to find hours in the day because my work doesn't finish at 5pm. I can't see how any senior professional job is only 7-8hrs per day. I usually have childcare until 6.30pm. My kids need to be picked up at 3.15 and then are asleep around 9pm. I would find it hard to do 3.5 hours' work as standard after 9pm every night. (I do sometimes). Are there really people in these senior roles working without childcare?
a) i) When my dc were that age, I generally worked call catering around the expectation that nobody would be home until about 5.30......combination of slow cooker meals (veg etc prepped night before) / doubling up so a meal might last 2 nights / timer on oven for things like jacket potatoes going on an hour before I got in / "bung it on an oven tray" nights / things I'd cooked previously and put in the fridge or freezer (say a cottage pie I'd make the night before then just heat through)
ii) my dc never did hours of homework. We always read before bed, from when they were tiny tots; any written homework at weekend usually or occasionally sat at a table whilst I got on with other things. In truth, in all the years they went to childminders, that was still done by us as parents, as and when
iii) we generally used to eat around 5.45 /6 as that was when we got in from childminders when they went there... a snack after school kept them going
iv) wifework ?
b) Without getting into a "who works harder" debate, lots of jobs mean quite a bit more than 35 /37 /40 hours a week. When you don't have dc (or maybe if you have a SAHP or maybe a nanny... I don't know, never been in that position) then you can stay in the office for longer hours. Once you are a parent, then most of use shift things around, and yes, carry on in the evenings. I wouldn't "not start" until 9pm though. On the night I needed to get something finished, dh would do baths / story / bed, and when he did, I would, etc. Plus, most people with dc small enough to need entertaining tend to have their dc in bed long before 9. If they are up that late they are generally old enough to entertain themselves.
I think the issue here is that you might be talking about pre-schoolers or Nursery or Reception dc ?? No, of course you need wrap around care for that age of child. Once your dc gets a bit older though, they don't usually need "entertaining" by parents constantly.
Again, remember that you are thinking of your job. Everyone's job is different. Lots of people can get work done whilst keeping 1/2 an ear out for the odd request from a child.