To ask employer this

[Timidiff]

I WFH full time, my childcare cost is killing me.

Would i be BU to ask for my lunchbreak between 3-4 so I can collect DD, then work for the final hour. DD is of an age where she can entertain herself for an hour.

Or is it too cheeky?

I'd ask and then submit a formal request if they want one.

I can't see how you do your work for the 3 hours between 3 and 6 every day. It might be that the hours stop officially at 4 or 5 but in a senior professional job you don't really clock off that way, work is pretty much all day til 6.30 for me. And there isn't a "lunch break" every day in that way, sometimes I might grab something v quick, sometimes i might get 45 minutes to shove some washing on, but not a full hour.

I would love to do pick-up every day but, let's face it, realistically I'd get nothing done in the afternoon. My children are 9 and 6. After school they should be either going to the park for a bit, to the shop to get a snack, or come home, do a little bit of homework or a craft activity, get changed, unpack schoolboys, etc.

If I get them every day and bring them straight back then disappear upstairs for calls and delivering chunks of work, they would watch TV for 2-3 hours.

Also it leaves no wriggle room for me to ever nip to a shop or get a manicure one lunchtime or something, as all the contingency time is eaten up.

I suspect this is capitalism fucking us again in subtle ways. We may be saving money but the ones who are screwed are the kids who don't get taken care of properly and the parents who are stressed by doing 2 jobs at once.

seems a logical request

how do you manage at the moment?

No harm in asking, I know lots of people that do this (with their managers approval) - either they take shorter lunches, or they work a bit more when their partners get home, or they they get the DC a snack and plonk them in front of the TV for a bit (for older ones).

I do exactly this and block that hour out in my work diary. Take my lunch hour between 3-4 and do the school run. My DS then has an hour of screens whilst I work 4-5pm.

I have to do this i have no choice , I'm a sp and I can't afford childcare round here where its so expensive.
My mum helps me out a couple of times a week but goes abroad for long stretches so can't be reliable.
I requested this at my old job but they made it plain they didn't like it and took the privilege away from me ( I've heard they have relaxed since the pandemic!).
With this new job I told them at the interview stage that this is what I need and they have been fab . However I do have a network of school mums that would walk ds home to me if I needed that , and I've helped them out too.
It's worth making those connections.

@Whereismumhiding3

I think OP needs to be clear and say what age her DD is. It's very relevant

Otherwise this is all conjecture

Shes 9

9?!

My 6 and 8 year old can be trusted to entertain themselves for a few hours.

A 9 year old is fine to be home with you and not bother

Almost all my team do this, they have a break for both school runs, and block it out their calendars. Everyone appreciates it and no one takes the piss. It works really well.

@GirlInACountrySong

now i see why everyone is keen for WFH to remain

Exactly! Time to eat, mini breaks, reduced childcare costs, putting a washing on, being in for deliveries - what's not to love!

Sounds like the perfect solution to me, at age 9 you can work while they amuse themselves and you get to focus exclusively on your child for a bit after pickup. Be ready to make offers if your boss is unsure, a trial, working before or after work hours etc. Good luck!

Judging by this thread, note to self: don't try phoning companies between 3 and 4

I do this. I have 3-3.30 blocked as my lunch break every day suring term time. I'm happy ro make alternative arrangements if meetings get put in but generally those with primary aged kids now take their lunchbreak for the PM school run.

I'm not customer facing and the whole team have their own work to complete by set days of the month so we are able to be much more flexible about when we work.

My kids grab a snack and watch TV for an hour til dh gets home.

During the warmer months our walk home is redirected through a park so they can have 20mins on the playframe. Again, no issues with work as I just Tag the 20mins on the end of my day

I've never used my flexible time for a manicure (or indeed even had a manicure) so I don't mind using it for this instead

but how do you all stop bang on 5?? Who cooks the kids' tea & supervises any homework or music practice?? I'm not being showoffy about my big important job I just don't get how all your flexibility works so much in your favour!

@Dullrugby

but how do you all stop bang on 5?? Who cooks the kids' tea & supervises any homework or music practice?? I'm not being showoffy about my big important job I just don't get how all your flexibility works so much in your favour!

My dh walks through the door between 4 and 4.30pm so he just cracks on with what the kids need.

I then stop about 5 (6 tonight!), so have 30mins or so with them then one of us sorts dinner for eating at 6 (tonight dh did dinner while I worked).

It's saving time as before I would spend 45 minutes each way on the commute, plus time devouring to childcare provider and be docked the 30mins for lunch even though I ate at my desk.

Now, I have a 30mins round trip walk to school twice a day, one is before I log on and the other is as my allocated 30 minutes. So I'm win win in terms of time for family.

Oh and I stop at 5 because I'm logged on at 8.15am and if it cannot be completed within the 8.5 hours I'm online then it waits til tomorrow.

My DS is 8 and this sounds great to me. Mine is here after school and is never a bother, I don’t see how people are saying youll get no work done…for a child in KS2 they are perfectly able to entertain themselves. I did full days of this for months

This would be fine in my work - lots do it.

With us, it tends to be unacceptable only if the children are too young (eg. Couldn’t be left in another room alone, or need constant entertainment) and if its not all day. An hour to finish your day wouldn’t be an issue.

I work from home with my 5 year old when necessary. My work has never complained about it. They know she’s there, as I usually have to work from home when she’s off sick or waiting on PCR results.

Tbh if she's primary school age and not old enough to walk home alone then I would t think she's not old enough to be not supervised generally whilst you wfh past time she gets home at end of working day

Don't be daft. Most dc, from 6 or 7 can entertain themselves for a bit. Even if you have to answer the odd question or help them with something for 2 minutes, it's only the same time as another colleague making a drink or doing some stretches or something.

but how do you all stop bang on 5?? Who cooks the kids' tea & supervises any homework or music practice?? I'm not being showoffy about my big important job I just don't get how all your flexibility works so much in your favour!

Surely you can understand that we all have different jobs ? I can see that if you are a surgeon or a firefighter a train driver, or you work on a checkout, or are a lifeguard then you have to be in a certain place at a certain time, but you must understand that many, many, millions of people work in jobs where it doesn't really matter if they finish that report or document at 2pm. 11am, or have a longer break in the day and go back and put a couple of hours in after 8pm ? Or if they trawl through the never ending inbox to read e-mails at a different time of day from a colleague? I mean, that is one of the many plus points of e-mails over phone calls - everyone deals with them at a time that suits them. I do a mix of things for my job. Sometimes I attend meetings where I have to be present at a set time, but most of my working hours can be done to suit me. There is a general expectation most of them are done in what are 'typical' working hours, but that can be anytime from 7am - 7pm, and no-one is expected to be constantly available at any point to pick up a call or Teams meeting that hasn't been pre-arranged. I don't think my job is unusual in that respect.

I'm asking two things.

a) You have a job where you finish at 5pm. Yet have no support between 3 and 5pm. Who cooks for the kids and does all the other household/homework stuff with them? Or do you do it all from 5pm? My children wouldn't be able to wait til 6 for dinner and certainly don't want to do spellings etc after 6.30pm. I need someone doing wifework from 3.15!

b) I totally get the flexibility. I work in consultancy & can do the work whenever I want but I don't know how you manage to find hours in the day because my work doesn't finish at 5pm. I can't see how any senior professional job is only 7-8hrs per day. I usually have childcare until 6.30pm. My kids need to be picked up at 3.15 and then are asleep around 9pm. I would find it hard to do 3.5 hours' work as standard after 9pm every night. (I do sometimes). Are there really people in these senior roles working without childcare?

Lots of staff do this in my company!

I work 8-4 and take my 30mins lunch in 2 x 15 mins to walk DD to school and pick her up. Manager has ok'd it.

She's 5, we get her ready before I start work, she entertains herself with toys or TV for 45 mins, i walk to school and back (3 mins walk away) I work right through and eat a sandwich that I made in the morning with one hand while I work with the other, then I pop out to get her, finish up the last 30mins of work while she watches TV/plays.
She can help herself to fruit or biscuit if she's starving to death, we have dinner after 6pm as that's when DP gets home, he does any homework while I'm cooking.

I finish work bang on 4 because I finish at 4. I do repetitive small tasks, mostly. Anything not done by 4pm waits till the next day. Some larger multi week projects. Again, it rolls over to the next day when 4pm hits.

Like I assume from OPs 'I'm not on the highest of salaries' I'm not in a 'senior professional position'. My salary is 10k below the national average, and i'm working for an organisation that really frowns on people working late or logging in on days off. If I did that my manager would enforce TOIL and I'd probably get a talking to about wellbeing and work life balance.
Of course sometimes I stay 10mins or so, or if there's a meeting after 4 I would flex hours to be there, I'm not rigid in my start and finish times, but it's really not expected.

A previous job, with a similar salary, I was always getting last minute deadlines sprung on me with a requirement to meet them. I was doing 13/14 hr days regularly, so much pressure to get the task finished and a manager that didn't care that they were asking the impossible. I ended up signed off with stress after having a breakdown. So, yeah, don't fancy putting myself through that again.

@Dullrugby my kids will have a snack when they get home but evening meal is around 6:30 as a family. They can read their books or practice their spellings on their own and we go over it later. Not ideal but it is what it is. There probably isn't enough time spent on homework but luckily school hasn't complained yet and we make time if need be. I also don't always get finished with work. I don't have deadlines or projects. It's more like a never-ending stream of incoming issues. I don't switch off on the dot but I also rarely do more than 10-20min extra and pick up from where I left off the next day.