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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask, if you have primary age dc

140 replies

Zara2008 · 17/01/2022 16:47

What sort of hours do you work, and does your dh (if you have one), do his share of the childcare?

I work part time but I do 100% of the childcare.

OP posts:
careerswitcher · 17/01/2022 19:53

Sorry to jump on the post but I have a question for families with both parents working, what do you do in the school holidays?

Mostly just cover it between us with annual leave, I also sometimes take parental leave but try not to take too much since it's unpaid. Also the grandparents usually cover one week (they live a long way away so it's not easy for them to cover more than that).

79Fleur · 17/01/2022 19:54

One primary aged child, I do all pick up and drop off usually. Their dad is physically disabled so it’s just quicker for me to take that responsibility, however we do share childcare responsibilities and during lockdown we both took equal time out of our days for homeschooling etc..

79Fleur · 17/01/2022 19:57

I hit post too soon, I meant to add we both work full time from home.
We also use wrap around care and holiday clubs etc…

CaptainChannel · 17/01/2022 19:57

I work 8-3 three days a week, using the school breakfast club. One day a week I do 9-4 and DH does the pick up. The other day I don't work.

trilbydoll · 17/01/2022 19:57

6yo and 8yo. I finish at 2.30 3 days pw to do pickup. DH picks up the other 2 days. We do the reverse ratio with drop off. On my two full days I tend to work until 7pm so he does everything up to bedtime. Weekends he is far more hands on than me, I do way more mental load though.

Juanbablo · 17/01/2022 20:01

I work 3 days 8-4. Dh runs his own business so can sometimes do drop off and pick up. If not ds2 goes to breakfast and after school club. Other dcs are at secondary so take themselves to school.

Mummysgonetobed · 17/01/2022 20:03

Single patent, 2 primary dc, one preschool dc. I work 16h over 3 days and do all school runs. Ex does nothing unless I absolutely need him to. I work in the evenings when I need to make up hours.

jackiebenimble · 17/01/2022 20:03

Work full time plus. Do drop offs four mornings. Pick up one day. Gparents do two. One session at breakfast club
One at after school club. Ex DH does his share. As does Dp. Do drop off for clubs and activities around calls. Have changed jobs so work mostly from home

qualitygirl · 17/01/2022 20:05

@EmpressSuiko

We use a mix of annual leave, unpaid parental leave, sports clubs (usually 9:30-2:30 and grandparents.

We're in Ireland where the summer holidays begin mid June and they are back in September.

Classicblunder · 17/01/2022 20:15

@EmpressSuiko

Sorry to jump on the post but I have a question for families with both parents working, what do you do in the school holidays?
Mix of annual leave and holiday clubs. When we have two in school we may look at whether a temporary nanny or babysitter works out cheaper/better
MinnieMountain · 17/01/2022 20:17

DH only does packed lunch making and bedtimes during the week. He typically works 8:00-18:00 from home whereas I work 20 hours over 3 days.

DS goes to MIL’s after school on my 17:30 finish days. Even if I need to go into the office, it’s only 10 minutes cycling away.

DH does take DS away without me in the school holidays.

1984Winston · 17/01/2022 20:22

I work a couple of evenings and at weekends, my DH looks after the kids when I work

boolabingbo · 17/01/2022 20:24

What happens to your work those who take extra leave or buy extra holiday to cover school hols. My job is a nightmare to even take holiday as I'm the only me and no one covers me.

Tunnocks34 · 17/01/2022 20:25

My husband and I are both teachers. I am in school 6.30am-3.30pm and husband is in school 8.30am-5.30pm. Children go to wrap around care for 30 minutes either end of school three days a week, two days a week my grandparents do the school run

DelurkingAJ · 17/01/2022 20:27

Both FT probably the same hours in a year but DH is a teacher so I do more of the logistics and housework in the term and DH does all the childcare (DSs are 5 and 9) in the holidays and all the logistics then too. We reckon it evens out. We have an excellent childminder who covers wrap around and inset days etc.

Jessicabrassica · 17/01/2022 20:28

Im generally out if the house 7.30-7.30. dh drops off at breakfast club then goes to his own school. We then rely on clubs where kids are interested or wrapround care on the other days. Dh finishes at 3.30 so does pick up. Evening clubs he drops off, I pick up on my way home. Weekends we share.
He cooks, nobody cleans in term time ( I have tantrums about the state of the house every holiday) I grow veg and do DIY.

polexiaaphrodesia · 17/01/2022 20:29

I work Mon-Thurs 8am - 5pm. DH is FT. We have 1 DC in Year 1 and another DC in nursery in completely the opposite direction to school. Currently DH drops both off in the morning other than on Friday and I do pick up from nursery and childminder. We are looking to move youngest to the preschool attached to school from Sept as having 2 in 2 separate locations is a killer also DH is currently only able to help as he is WFH - when in the office he can't drop both off.

SockQueen · 17/01/2022 20:30

I have one in Reception and one in a separate nursery. DH works full time from home with very flexible hours. I work 3 days a week, 10-12 hour days with a long commute, and some nights and weekends. On my off days I do everything. On my working days DH has to do pretty much everything as I leave before they wake up and get back at dinner time/after bedtime depending on shift length. He is pretty good at the childcare side of things and can cook dinners (he's actually a better cook than me if doing something special, but has little interest in normal week night dinners) but shows zero interest or initiative in anything else around the house. I carry almost all the family mental load, sort out washing, empty dishwashers, make sure uniforms/school bags are ready etc, as well as all the little things that keep a house ticking over. We have a cleaner, though she's a bit flaky, so I have to do top up cleans if she doesn't come.

It's not ideal, but it could be worse I guess.

Happyhappyday · 17/01/2022 20:32

Both DH and I work full time but both have a lot of flexibility and work from home. DH does drop off at 8:45, nanny picks up at lunch time and does lunch and afternoon. I cook dinner around 4:30, take over from nanny at 5:15. I do more evening childcare while DH tidied up the kitchen etc and then he does bath. He does more childcare hours but I carry more organizational burden.

newusername2009 · 17/01/2022 20:42

Both work full time, I drop kids 5 days a week and pick up 2 days a week. I cook 7 days a week and do all the washing and cleaning. I don’t think I trained my husband very well 😂

itwasntaparty · 17/01/2022 20:44

We work the same amount of hours, FT but all drop off / pick ups / sickness / dealing with school etc all falls to me. My role is flexible, DH is a teacher and no flexibility at all. It's a bone of contention tbh.

morechocolateneededtoday · 17/01/2022 20:45

Also work PT and do 100% evenings, after school childcare and activities. We take one child each for morning drop off (younger one still at preschool), weekend activities and parties are split between us.

5329871e · 17/01/2022 20:51

Two primary school aged kids here. We both work full time. It’s quite stressful and I’ll probably go back to 80% in future, but at the moment there’s a lot to be done at work.

NerrSnerr · 17/01/2022 20:51

I work four days a week, doing school hours. Husband works full time. I do the school runs and immediate after school clubs. When my husband isn't working it's shared (we are both currently getting a child to sleep each as I write this). He did tea and getting ready for bed tonight as I was at an exercise class.

Quornflakegirl · 17/01/2022 20:52

I work from home between 10-2. I do all the school runs and half their after school activities. Dh works 8-4 and does the other half of their activities. Dh works Saturdays and I work Sundays each doing childcare on the days we don’t work.

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