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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think its OTT to isolate a 7yo with fever

75 replies

itsyourthing · 17/01/2022 10:15

We are older parents in our early 50s neither of us CEV.
We have a DS7 who woken up with has fever of 39 and cough. He has tested negative on LFT.
Yet my DP is insisting that he stay in his bedroom with the door closed with us only being allowed in to look after him if we are wearing masks.
DS keeps asking us why we are wearing masks.
What do you think?

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 17/01/2022 11:51

My 13 year old stayed in his room when he tested positive - loved life of meal deliveries, endless gaming and no siblings allowed in. When the 8 year old tested positive there wasn't a chance he would stay in his room - in fact I woke up with him practically licking my face most mornings.

Stompythedinosaur · 17/01/2022 11:52

That is cruel. She is a young child with emotional needs. I can't believe there is any debate about whether a 7yo needs to be nurtured.

wavecatcher · 17/01/2022 11:54

No you don't treat a poorly 7 year old like that. Honestly!

user1471457354 · 17/01/2022 12:00

Well I know of a child which had a high temperature and tested using LFT and was negative. The same day they went for a PCR and that evening it was a positive result so firstly I was be getting PCR booked and then deciding on action after that.

user1471457354 · 17/01/2022 12:04

Should also add that even if said child does have covid there is no way I would make them isolate in their room alone, so from that point of view, your 'D'H is being unreasonable.

mindutopia · 17/01/2022 12:04

He very likely has COVID if you get a faint positive. But no need to isolate him. Dh and dd both had COVID. Neither of them isolated away from the rest of the family (except dh did sleep alone and I slept in the spare room, mostly so he wouldn't keep me up with his coughing and we wouldn't wake him up if he needed to sleep as toddler still sleeps with us sometimes).

I'm fully vaccinated and ds is not vaccinated at all. Neither of us got COVID even being stuck in the same rooms being coughed all over for nearly 2 weeks. It isn't the bubonic plague and if you are healthy and well otherwise you are much less likely to be infected by a child as the viral load will be lower.

Wnikat · 17/01/2022 12:04

If my kid had a temp I would sleep in with him, Covid or no Covid. Poor kid, take your mask off and give him a cuddle.

ISmellBurnings · 17/01/2022 12:06

Is this for real?

Poor child. Of course you can’t isolate a 7 year old. Neither DH or I caught covid from our DC.

55Jumbo · 17/01/2022 12:07

That is oddball city. He's 7 and he's unwell, he needs his parents to look after him as you would with any other sickness (which this may well be since he's testing negative on an LFT!)

saoirse31 · 17/01/2022 12:11

I wouldn't isolate a seven year old like that. Just regularly tear yourself and do.

NumberTheory · 17/01/2022 12:11

If he has a fever I would keep him in his room regardless of what it was caused by. He needs to be resting. Because of covid I’d also open windows and wear a mask around him, and take extra care over hygiene.

Possibly I’d isolate in with him away from DH to try to minimize spread opportunity.

You need to be able to look after him, but that concern isn’t just about today. You need to be able to look after him in 5 days time too. And if you and DH both get Covid close together that could become very difficult.

NotMyDayJob · 17/01/2022 12:16

This sounds really cruel, and I really hope you've not done this. Your poor little boy.

Original poster

itsyourthing · 17/01/2022 12:24

Jus wanted to say that DS is happily downstairs sans mask on a comfy sofa bed watching tv. I am also without mask, and have cuddled him plenty of times and sat with him watching mr bean.

My DP continues to walk around on a mask. My DP is not a nice person really. Not to me anyway. I am working on breaking away.

Thanks all

OP posts:

Original poster

itsyourthing · 17/01/2022 12:28

@itsyourthing

Jus wanted to say that DS is happily downstairs sans mask on a comfy sofa bed watching tv. I am also without mask, and have cuddled him plenty of times and sat with him watching mr bean.

My DP continues to walk around on a mask. My DP is not a nice person really. Not to me anyway. I am working on breaking away.

Thanks all

DP continues to wear a mask I meant.

I just wonder how long that's possible in the house. We'll see.

Please don't worry about our DS , he is really loved and well looked after normally.
In the last year I have really woken up to the dynamics in my relationship and am determined to make a big change

OP posts:

NeedAHoliday2021 · 17/01/2022 12:29

Dd1 is 13 and mostly isolated (wearing a mask and using hand gel when she came downstairs) but she has a TV, laptop and her best friend on FaceTime who was also isolating and she didn’t feel unwell over than 24 hour headache. Dd3 is 10 and was ill with very high temp. She needed cuddles and I gave them to her. I didn’t actually catch it but dh did. I decided I was vaccinated and willing to risk it as I couldn’t not care for my unwell dc. Every family will make their own risk assessment and only you can know what works for you and your family.

RememberThePenguins · 17/01/2022 12:33

I'm glad you've taken him downstairs and are now looking after him.

If you had continued isolating him in his room alone at age 7 I'd be accusing you of child abuse to be honest.

NotMyDayJob · 17/01/2022 12:47

@itsyourthing

Jus wanted to say that DS is happily downstairs sans mask on a comfy sofa bed watching tv. I am also without mask, and have cuddled him plenty of times and sat with him watching mr bean.

My DP continues to walk around on a mask. My DP is not a nice person really. Not to me anyway. I am working on breaking away.

Thanks all

I'm glad he's having the cuddles he needs. I can imagine being made to isolate alone at seven would be very scary and upsetting.

Best of luck to you for everything else

ginnybag · 17/01/2022 13:01

Good grief - I isolated when it was me. Neither of us either considered it when it was our DD, and she's almost 12 (and I have a covid-triggered auto-immune condition, so we're not unaware of the possible consequences.)

It's pointless, for a start, as others have said, but even if it wasn't - this is one of those things you agreed to when you chose to be parents. They get sick; they need care. You can't leave a child that age alone!

Tell him to pull his socks up and crack on being a parent. And, if he won't, tell him he can isolate himself somewhere else permanently.

Cotton55 · 17/01/2022 13:08

@Hospedia

If he has got covid, you've already been exposed to it as he'll have been contagious for a day or two before these symptoms appeared (even if he hasn't got covid, you'll have already been exposed to whatever he has). Making him stay in his room and only interacting with him while wearing masks is cruel, he's just a little boy and probably needs a cuddle and some comfort.

Exactly this.

Our ds7 tested positive on a pcr test New Years day. There was no way we'd have even considered isolating him in his room. He's only 7 fgs! He was feeling a bit miserable and needed the comfort of cuddles from his parents. We all isolated in the house and by some miracle, none of us got it. I don't know how as he was all over us! My friends dd8 got it and it spread through their house to all except an older dd14. Like us, both parents have the booster and both older siblings have 2 vaccines. Who know?!
But I think your husband is being a dick. He's a child and it would be awful to leave him in his room. Obviously if one of you was immune compromised that would be different.

Mumofsend · 17/01/2022 13:10

Pretty barbaric. It's covid not leprosy and you aren't CEV

Bunnycat101 · 17/01/2022 13:35

I hope this gives you a wake up call re your partner. A poorly 7yo needs cuddles and attention not to be isolated away. The fact that was his instinct says everything about him.

blackcurrantjam · 17/01/2022 13:41

@Hankunamatata

blackcurrantjam · 17/01/2022 13:42

@itsyourthing

Jus wanted to say that DS is happily downstairs sans mask on a comfy sofa bed watching tv. I am also without mask, and have cuddled him plenty of times and sat with him watching mr bean.

My DP continues to walk around on a mask. My DP is not a nice person really. Not to me anyway. I am working on breaking away.

Thanks all

Ostagazuzulum · 17/01/2022 13:44

A poorly child needs hugs and parental attention. Not a chance would I make them isolate alone when they are poorly

R3ALLY · 17/01/2022 13:48

My teen voluntarily isolated for a few days - unlimited screen time and online gaming, heaven! But the younger kid no way. Lots of cuddles. We all got it anyway and this latest bout is a mild dose. It’s a sore throat basically.

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