I'll try to keep this as short as possible. So I was seeing someone for a few months, knew him for over a year prior but we were both in short lived relationships/dating at different times so broke off any interaction during that time and then came back together once we were both available. I am now pregnant with his child (totally unplanned). I was clear from the very first day I met him that I didn't want children & that that wouldn't change. He already has 2 from a previous marriage and at the time was open to more with the right woman.
Fast forward to when we finally got together he decided that he didn't want any more children, fine by me! We had unprotected sex (we were using condoms as I had been on the pill for over 10 years due to terrible periods that incapacitated me for 3 days and after so long they were proving ineffective and causing unwanted side effects) one night which we both agreed was very irresponsible but put it down to being in the moment etc.
The next day I totally forgot to take the morning after pill as I had a lot on my plate - visiting and helping out a sick relative who had recently come out of a coma so I took it first thing next morning. All was forgotten about and I was pms'ing around time of period so thought we had the all clear. Nope! I missed my period by a few days, took a test at 4 in the morning just to rule it out and it was positive.
Guy I was seeing birthday was coming up in a week or so so I said I'd tell him after, I wouldn't want to ruin his birthday or anything. A day or 2 after he came round I told him, he didn't take it well & was speechless for a bit. I told him I already know I'll be doing this on my own as he doesn't want any more children & I can't go through with an abortion. First he tried to persuade me to get one by telling me he knows many women who have had one and feel fine about it, then said he'd be there for me during the pregnancy as no woman should have to go through it alone and he'd never do that to me, to "I'm sorry, I'm not being funny but I barely know you & I don't want anything to do with this baby". He also said he couldn't understand why I wasn't on birth control if I didn't want something like this to happen & thought I'd be more responsible and pro active if I didn't want to get pregnant. As I mentioned above I told him about the contraception situation way before we started having sex and we both agreed that it would have to be condoms. He wasn't particularly jumping for joy about it but it was no longer working for me & my body needed a break from all of the hormones.
He came around again the next evening to pick up his watch that he must have taken off and forgotten during his pacing and we ended up speaking some more. He was silent for a while and then came the shocker, he said "The more I think about this, the more I feel like you trapped me". I couldn't believe it, all I could say was What???!!! Then he was coming up with all the reasons why he thought such bull. Once I came to I shut it down completely and told him that if he was going to speak utter crap to me to not speak at all. We both had equal parts to play in making this baby. I did not tie him up and force myself on him, neither did I poke holes in his condoms & further more he's the one who would slip it inside me unprotected after the first incident because 'it just felt too good' even when I told him to stop and put one on.
Just before he left he gave me a hug & apologised for blaming me but then proceeded to send me a message maybe a couple of days later informing me that he has spoken to his family about it & his mum & sisters feel the same way- I trapped him, why wouldn't I take better care not to get pregnant & they don't understand why I would want to be a single parent.
We spoke sporadically via text from then on, him swearing he'd take on the responsibility (financially) but he wants nothing to do with the child over and over & his conflictions- the feelings he has for me vs this child ruining everything. Part of a text he sent me- You used to make me so happy and now every time I think about you it's depressing. How nice!
I made it clear we were no longer a thing & that I'd be in touch when things were needed.
I had my first midwives appt coming up so asked him questions I thought they may ask about his side of family, he replied and then asked for due date. I thought they would confirm that in first appointment so gave him round about date but said I'll give more accurate one after appt. Turns out they don't even test for pregnancy then so I just gave him date nhs website provided me with. He proceeded to block me the next day & I have also learnt that he has removed his most current job title off of LinkedIn. Presumably foreseeing me possibly tracking him down for CMS that way.
So question- would I be unreasonable to try and track him down for CMS once baby arrives. This child is his responsibility just as much as it is mine, even if he will only be providing financial care or do I just leave him to get on with his life and get on with mine & this new baby as best as I can. I'm not alone- I have a very supportive mum and once I get round to telling others they will no doubt support me too. I do not expect family or friends to help financially- this is my responsibility & the father's but for emotional support I know I can count on them.
I never ever thought this would be my life but now I have to deal with it. It still hasn't fully sank in to be honest & it's very lonely having no one else to go through this with.
Sorry it ended up being such a long read but would appreciate any advice and maybe from people who have been in same/similar situation?