To think calling a 26 year old a girl is odd

[Togetherforever70]

They aren’t even a young adult never a girl.

Very normal where I am, and a man is often called a lad.

Makes me smile .

And I'm 45. 😆

What I hate is on WhatsApp groups when someone says .. thanks ladies .. or hello ladies ..

Don't know why but it makes my teeth itch!!

I much prefer to be called a girl. 😁

Our department is all-female and quite often are referred to as "the girls in [department]". I am the youngest in the department and am in my 30s. I don't see anything wrong with it, in fact if we are dealing with someone else's problem, we would say "you'll need to speak to one of the other girls".

I find it extremely odd. I wouldn’t call a 26 year old male a boy. It’s completely rooted in sexism and has become normalised but when you stop to think about it it’s very weird. It different in the context of saying something like you’re going out for a drink with the girls (or out for a drink with the boys) etc but in any other context it’s weird.

i often refer to my daughters and daughters in law as the girls and my sons and son in laws as the lads.

Yanbu op. I hate it. Sure, when people say it, they might not "mean offence" but it betrays the fact that they think that woman is unimportant/silly/childish. No one would call Theresa May or Angela Merkel "a girl". It's only "the girls in the office" or "my wife is out with the girls" ie the person speaking doesn't respect those women

Bigger things to worry about

I've been referred to as the "new girl" at work all week. One person even asked who the new "young lass" is. I'm 33
Think I'd feel ancient if they called me a lady 🤣

DS and DP both call their male friendship group 'my boys' and will introduce new people as 'this is my boy, Jake' or whoever. Its also used as a way of saying someone is special to you 'So and so is my boy/my girl'. Because of this, I'd see it as an affectionate term rather than something offensive. I suppose it's different if its an older person seeming to infantalise a younger one though.

@Sparklesocks

I think it depends on the context and specifics. I call my group of friends ‘girls’ in our group chat, but I probably wouldn’t appreciate it from someone I didn’t know.

Exactly this. Context is everything.

I’ve always thought it was rooted in affection, not sexism. If I’m talking about female friends I’ll say ‘the girls’ or if I’m talking about my brothers I’ll say ‘the boys’ or ‘the lads’. If I’m talking about someone I don’t know personally, or I don’t particularly like, I’ll say ‘woman’ or ‘man’.

Its not really odd is it. Its quite commonplace.

Some 26 year old women are girls, and some are not. The term must be applied on a case by case basis.

Mu mum still calls me and my sisters the girls, we are late 50’s early 60’s

I am female, if someone, anyone, wants to call me a girl then i have no issues

My children are 20 and 23 and are referred to collectively as the girls by my, my husband, mum and other friends and family. I think they always will be. The young women just sounds wrong. I wouldn’t use that term about anyone, I just don’t like it.

Most of my friends refer to their offspring as the kids (this will be their children AND the children’s partners). Eg we spent Christmas with the kids rather than we spent Christmas with Catherine and Elliott, Lizzie and Brian, and James and Ricky.

I wouldn’t mind being referred to as a girl.

I hate being called ‘madam’. Ugh. Makes me feel ancient. I obviously don’t mind being referred to as ‘the woman over there’ (for example) in the third person. I can just about cope with a small child referring to me as a lady. But what I absolutely cannot stand is when anyone refers to a group of women as ‘ladies’. Like a man referring to a group of my female friends on a night out as ‘ladies’. Just sounds like he’s reducing us to little women. Equally (and this might be unfair) I cannot stand things like “hey ladies, I need help…” or “thanks ladies!” on threads on here.

I think a lot of people are giving examples where most people would agree it’s normal or endearing, like calling your own children ‘the girls’ even when they’re young adults or calling your own group of friends ‘the girls.’ It wouldn’t be abnormal to say ‘the boys’ in those situations either. In other contexts like work, it’s sexist (because you’d almost never call a male a boy in the same scenario), infantilising or disrespectful (even though it might not be meant disrespectfully because it’s just become normal).

This is a good article on why it’s an issue in the workplace even though it might seem harmless:

www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2021/08/09/why-calling-women-girls-is-a-bigger-deal-than-you-may-think/?sh=58afab752fda

@Inextremis

DH is 58, and goes out with the 'boys' to the pub. It's colloquial, not disrespectful - if I go for a drink with the 'girls' it's highly likely that none of us are under 50, and very unlikely that any of us would be offended. Each to their own.

It is about context as other posters say

I may refer to a group of women I hang out with socially and know well as “girls” even in our 50s and 60’s. It indicates a sense of playful, unserious gathering and socialising. We’re not going to behave as “adults” , we’re just hanging out

But, I will, and have called out anyone calling me or other women “girls” at work. It is a professional setting and it labels women as unserious, less authorative in the speakers mind. More easily dismissed . That’s at best. At worst it is completely patronising and deliberately so.

I do also take strong objection to people I don’t know, especially men, calling me or even groups of women “girls” even in more social situations. Much the same as I do if they try to call me “young lady” ( I’m in my late 50s. Again at best it is ingratiating (e.g. from a waiter who thinks I’ll be flattered and leave him a tip), and at worst it is sexualised or overfamiliar attempt to muscle into a group of women hanging out.

So context.

Our daughters are 27 and 28. We always refer to them collectively as the girls.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Some 26 year old women are girls, and some are not. The term must be applied on a case by case basis.

What? You know 26 year olds that are pre-pubescent still? 🤦‍♀️ Your opinion that some women at 26 act in an immature way is your opinion. It is disrespectful and patronising to dismiss them in that way

At 26 I probably would have been offended but now at 51, on the odd occasion it happens I quite like it.

I would talk about a "girls night out" or men might have a "boys night out" and I would talking about meeting the girls if meeting friends. Does anyone "meet the women"? Genuinely curious as that sounds sort of awkward to me.
But I wouldn't necessarily like it if a stranger referred to be as girl. Although i think part of it (for me) is because I'm short, I feel some people treat me as if I am a child and are generally more patronising!

I think if someone would call a man a boy in the same context, then ok. If not, it’s rude & patronising.

I honestly don’t think about it. Men of the same age are also often referred to as boys.
I could not give this any headspace.

I used to correct my dad on this all the time when he was still working. She’s not a girl if she’s 35! It comes down to whether you would do the same thing for men and the answer is usually that you wouldn’t. 20 year old men don’t get called boys, they normally get called something ageless like “bloke” or “guy” yet women we infantilise by calling girl.