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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that having a comfortable life is not the same as having a luxurious one?

90 replies

Onlyrainbows · 15/01/2022 17:38

I understand that it's all very subjective and that the "living comfortably" is a very wide spectrum. A simple example would be: living comfortably - to have a car that works and you don't have to worry about its maintenance as you can afford it. Living luxuriously - you own a bran new (or newish) Porsche and you can definitely afford it.

OP posts:
JugglingJanuary · 15/01/2022 18:09

Yeah, but why do you ask?

Believer99 · 15/01/2022 18:14

If you previously lived in poverty you would probably feel pretty luxurious driving any car it's subjective.

I am comfortable but some things feel luxurious because of my background, I often pinch myself that we can do or have certain things. To my children it's all completely normal and they would think im off my head if they ever knew how lucky I consider them.

Bemorebridget · 15/01/2022 18:15

@JugglingJanuary

Yeah, but why do you ask?
It's a discussion forum
Bemorebridget · 15/01/2022 18:16

I agree OP, but my comfortable life would probably be luxurious to some and quite spartan to others.

JugglingJanuary · 15/01/2022 18:17

@Bemorebridget

Sorry, I can't quite see your thread police badge.

UnsuitableHat · 15/01/2022 18:25

No, not the same. I think there's a distinction between a life that works well for your purposes and a life in which money is little object and you can afford the 'finer' things.

MintJulia · 15/01/2022 18:27

I can't imagine ever wanting a Porsche. Grin

My living well is being warm, safe, bills paid, decent healthy food, plus the ability to provide ds with good schooling, social and travel opportunities. If I manage that we will very lucky.

Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 15/01/2022 18:35

Exactly the "finer" things very well put. I think it also varies widely depending on number of children and any potential childcare costs. A household income of £100k might seem insanely high to many, but after tax to some will still only give them a comfortable life.

OP posts:
Bitbloweyoutthere · 15/01/2022 18:37

Being able to put the heating on when I want. And 70 degrees. We were never allowed to whenwe were kids and even then, 60 or 65 was top.

Of course, now bills are going up, I'm going to be doing the same thing. 4layers of clothes today and my hands are still purple.

Having a foreign holiday every year.

LakeShoreD · 15/01/2022 18:41

Comfortable is often used as a discreet way of saying wealthy. If someone came out and said ‘we’re comfortable’ I’d be thinking that they’re absolutely loaded.

Original poster
Onlyrainbows · 15/01/2022 18:48

The other day I was wearing a throw as a shawl because I couldn't make myself turn the heating on. To me having a holiday abroad is part of living a comfortable life, although I'm sure many will see it as a luxury. We're six though, so going anywhere is expensive!

OP posts:
Bemorebridget · 15/01/2022 18:56

[quote JugglingJanuary]@Bemorebridget

Sorry, I can't quite see your thread police badge.[/quote]
It was was in response to your thread policing Confused

Believer99 · 15/01/2022 22:40

Oh I didn't realise comfortable is a subtly way of saying wealthy 😳 I think im currently comfortable in the sense I don't need to worry about the day to day stuff... Putting the heating on or what I spend at the supermarket kind of things, we have a holiday abroad each year and can afford to save quite a bit each month - but perhaps this is because I am savvy rather than rich?

Freecuthbert · 15/01/2022 22:52

I agree with you OP, I'm sure the majority of people can see the difference between comfortable and luxurious? Of course it's subjective but I do think there is a point where a luxurious lifestyle cannot be called just living comfortably. People who argue otherwise are out of touch and really lacking perspective. For example Kim Kardashian definitely lives a life of luxury no matter how many people are far richer than her like Jeff Bezos.

To me living comfortably is you don't have to worry about paying the bills and can throw in some nice things too on a whim without Big things, such as holiday or new car not on a whim but can be budgeted for and not unattainable. I would expect someone living comfortably could probably afford to go on holiday once a year.

I don't think I'm comfortable but I'm not struggling either. I just say I'm managing.

Freecuthbert · 15/01/2022 22:54

That was meant to say can throw in some nice things too on a whim without budgeting! Not big things

Freecuthbert · 15/01/2022 22:55

Omg I wish there was an edit button.

It was meant to say can throw in some nice things too on a whim without budgeting. Big things, such as holiday or new car not on a whim but can be budgeted for and not unattainable.

Sorry!

silentpool · 15/01/2022 23:10

I consider my life luxurious - but then I have simple tastes. I've lived in many developing countries and now am very appreciative of the free amenities we have.

Luxury, if by that, you mean, expensive or branded things - I don't want that particularly. It's a mindset thing.

Bringmeadog · 15/01/2022 23:13

I was homeless a few years ago for a short time. This year I holidayed in the Caribbean (on a heavily discounted flight and self catering, which others may turn their nose up at) and that felt luxurious.
However, I also swam in the lake the other day, when most other people would be at work. The water temp was about 4/5 C and it was a beautiful, still, albeit cold day.
Winter sun shone on me and the whole setting felt luxurious, so it’s a state of mind as much as anything.

Kite22 · 15/01/2022 23:19

I agree with @Believer99 that it depends where you have 'come from'.

I would say we are comfortable, in that I know there is money in the bank if the boiler breaks down or any of the white goods or unexpected repairs to the car, etc. I know we can decide to nip to the pub for a meal if we fancy it once a month or so.
But we can do that because we are careful with money in so many other ways. I don't consider that a 'sacrifice' , I consider it 'being sensible'. Quite frankly, if I won on the Premium Bonds next month, I still couldn't bring myself to pay out the money that is bandied around on so many threads on here as being quite normal.
I think a nice coffee out is a luxury, whereas I have seen posts on student budgeting threads, or child pocket money threads indicating they think 'a few coffees' is part of a normal budget for someone with no, or little income.

Obviously 'comfortable' and 'luxurious' are different levels of freedom to spend on stuff you don't need, but I think your own background and attitude to money both have much more influence on what you think both words mean.

SEOeieio · 15/01/2022 23:28

"Comfortable" may be code for well-off, for some, but for me, it means we don't worry about paying our bills or how we'll afford basic necessities. We can afford to treat ourselves, modestly, without worry, but we still have to live within our means, and we try to save where we can so we will have enough in the future.

Luxurious living would be knowing we could stop working and be okay for the rest of our lives, never having to splurge only in moderation.

blyn · 15/01/2022 23:35

'Comfortable' and 'luxurious' are not the same and everyone is at a different level, what is luxury to one is normal to another.. To be 'comfortably off' is pleasant and something for which to be aimed.

PurpleSky300 · 15/01/2022 23:40

To me, 'comfortable' means you just don't need to worry about money. Plenty of savings, no need to be budget for groceries or bills, not troubled by unexpected expenses, able to fund a social life, etc. I wouldn't expect things like "pay day" to have any significance each month because someone who is comfortable would always have enough basic cash to cover their living costs.

TheOriginalEmu · 15/01/2022 23:43

@Onlyrainbows

I understand that it's all very subjective and that the "living comfortably" is a very wide spectrum. A simple example would be: living comfortably - to have a car that works and you don't have to worry about its maintenance as you can afford it. Living luxuriously - you own a bran new (or newish) Porsche and you can definitely afford it.
Having car is a luxury, having a car that you don’t have to worry about affording to run is massively privileged. On s global scale that makes you rich.
Disneydatknee88 · 15/01/2022 23:47

We live a comfortable life in the sense that we have enough surplus earnings to put by in savings each month. If something breaks, we can afford to fix it and not have to worry. If we want a takeaway we can have it. If the kids need £20 to go out with friends they can have it. Christmas and birthdays are never a problem..but we can't just spent thousands on a new car or a holiday. We still have to wait a while to save up for those things. For me that is comfortable.

MaxNormal · 15/01/2022 23:49

OP I get what you mean. A warm house, good quality food in the fridge, money left over to save or treat yourself after the bills, basically all that you need and an absence from worry.
Clearly that wouldn't stretch if you then decided you wanted to be head to toe in the latest designer gear and have several 5-star long haul holidays a year though.