To think that having a comfortable life is not the same as having a luxurious one?

[Onlyrainbows]

I understand that it's all very subjective and that the "living comfortably" is a very wide spectrum. A simple example would be: living comfortably - to have a car that works and you don't have to worry about its maintenance as you can afford it. Living luxuriously - you own a bran new (or newish) Porsche and you can definitely afford it.

Comfortable for me would be not worrying about bills, and the cost of things like car ownership (including repairs, insurance, petrol etc.), boiler repairs, dental work. Paying for therapy or a chiropractor if you need it. To get a hair cut and colour, or your nails done sometimes. Being able to afford theatre or gig tickets months in advance and the cost of babysitters not being prohibitive to going out. Being able to afford all your kids uniforms and school trips and extra curricular activities and childcare costs. The occasional holiday. A walk and pub lunch out, or date night to a restaurant On a regular or semi-regular basis. Buying branded products and some branded clothes. Not like expensive champagne and Gucci gear, but like Heinz ketchup and real DM boots.

I think comfortable is everything you need and a little of what you want. Because nobody is happy with just what they need, that's why really Poor people seem to make illogical choices because the Poorer you are the more you value little luxuries.

andtheyalllook that's almost 100% how I see it, although I understand many would see that as "little luxuries".

I think there's also a difference between being "comfortable" and being "well-off".

Agreed that comfortable is usually a euphemism for wealthy

Maybe this depends on the circles you mix in. I don't agree with it at all.

To me someone who is wealthy is someone who is rich.

Someone who is comfortable is someone who can pay their bills and have fairly 'standard' luxuries, such as a holiday every year, a meal out or a takeaway every now and then, able to go to the cinema or theatre or sports fixture without having to save up specifically, and being able to absorb unexpected bills or replace things that break without having to then cut out something elsewhere.

I always think the opposite of comfortable is uncomfortable, so to me if you can afford everything you need, it is a comfortable life. In particular the things like adequete housing that feels safe, heating, suitable clothes for the weather, reliable transport, a nutritious diet and sensible working hours to afford it all, in a job with health and safety regs.
It doesnt make me uncomfortable to not have a holiday for instance or not to eat in restaurants. That goes into very comfortable /well off to me.

I think YANBU, OP. To me, comfortable means a nice version of normal life that is more or less free of financial worry. You can afford all of what you need and most of what you want, within reason. You can shop at Waitrose, pay for kids to do 2-3 extracurriculars each, and you can take a few holidays abroad every year without disrupting savings. You have a nice house, a car in good repair, children are in good schools (either a good state school or independent if the local options aren’t great) and if anyone in the family needs something, it’s not a problem to go and just buy it.

Luxurious, on the other hand, entails a certain level of surplus beyond a nice version of ‘normal life’. It’s things like live-in staff, boarding school for 3 or 4 children without breaking a sweat, flying first class (or on a private jet) as a matter of course, and owning multiple homes. Maybe it’s just the the difference between the well-off and the genuinely very rich. 🤷‍♀️

I would find shopping exclusively at Waitrose borderline luxurious, but having the freedom to choose where to shop within the realms of "comfortable".

@Onlyrainbows

I would find shopping exclusively at Waitrose borderline luxurious, but having the freedom to choose where to shop within the realms of "comfortable".

Waitrose is a supermarket

Hardly luxurious

Comfortable can be used as a euphemism sometimes by people who don’t want to come out and say “we’re loaded”.

But there’s a difference to me. Comfortable is not every worrying about food on the table or heating, not having to move from shit rented accommodation to shit rented accommodation, having enough in savings that losing your job doesn’t mean a complete panic about paying next month’s rent.

Being loaded means not having to worry about working ever, as there’s enough trust fund to mean you don’t have to work.

And that's why it's subjective! Shopping there is at least 30% more expensive than buying at Aldi, plus you get more choice.

@Onlyrainbows

And that's why it's subjective! Shopping there is at least 30% more expensive than buying at Aldi, plus you get more choice.

But it's not

Luxury is often quite clearly defined

Some shops state themselves they are for luxury goods

I cant see whats uncomfortable about shopping in tesco or lidl though. Its just a range of different comfortables. The key is can you get to a shop and buy what you need with the money you have.

Waitrose does sell luxury brands that the other supermarkets don't, for example Dom Pérignon vintage or Carbonnel et Walker.

To me having a comfortable life feels luxurious, as I've been poor, but agree generally and taking my subjective experience out of it there's a distinction between the two.

To me comfortable means being able to meet your needs without worry. Bills paid, a car with petrol in the tank, food on the table, clean clothes, being able to lay your head at night and not worry about money.

I've lived with next to nothing, I now live with enough to meet my needs, not much spare but enough to sleep well at night. I don't crave being wealthy at all. I'd say to many people being comfortable is enough.

We are comfortable. We live in a lovely home which we can afford to extend and renovate. We have two cars and I can fill the car with petrol and the boot with groceries and not worry. The children do a couple of after school clubs, wear nice clothes (from sales!) and we have two holidays a year and a few weekends away. We are very fortunate.

We don’t live in luxury though. Luxury to me is high end of everything, multiple holidays abroad a year, private schools, expensive hobbies, brand new cars and shopping for fun and STILL not worrying about it.

Comfortable isn’t loaded, it’s comfortable. I would consider comfortable as not having to worry about paying for the basics and a few extras. Luxury would be living like a Kardashian or a football player.

@Onionpatch

I always think the opposite of comfortable is uncomfortable, so to me if you can afford everything you need, it is a comfortable life. In particular the things like adequete housing that feels safe, heating, suitable clothes for the weather, reliable transport, a nutritious diet and sensible working hours to afford it all, in a job with health and safety regs. It doesnt make me uncomfortable to not have a holiday for instance or not to eat in restaurants. That goes into very comfortable /well off to me.

This makes sense.

You have a nice house, a car in good repair, children are in good schools (either a good state school or independent if the local options aren’t great) and if anyone in the family needs something, it’s not a problem to go and just buy it.

Once you get into the realms of paying for private education, you are definitely getting into luxuries that the overwhelming majority of the population can't afford. That is 100% getting into 'wealthy' territory on any scale. (Acknowledging that some people might have that 'wealth' paid for by other family members outside of their household)

my comfortable life would probably be luxurious to some and quite spartan to others

This....

I'm irritated by people who live very comfortably, and in relative luxury, but then moan that they are "poor".

I think being financially comfortable is not having to budget every penny. You can cover your bills and own your own house, for example, but still not really be “comfortable.” My parents were like this when I was growing up, they shopped at cheaper supermarkets
(never Sainsbury’s let alone Waitrose!) and new clothes rather than hand-me-downs were a treat. They weren’t poor, but there wasn’t much for extras and I don’t know how they handled crises like the car breaking down.

DH and I definitely live more comfortably and I really appreciate it. We’re not in the luxury cars and clothes category, but we can give our children more treats and holidays, we’re not counting the pennies. That’s being comfortable, IMO.

Luckily, my Dad is more financially comfortable now too.

Some aspects of my life would feel pretty spartan to mumsnetters- no car, small 2 bed flat. I know a friend in Yorkshire thinks my life is very primitive compared to hers; as she is able to rent a 3 bed house (despite only 2 people) and has 2 cars.

But I feel privileged that I can put £1k in mortgage overpayments every month while still being able to go out to eat every week and having holidays and being able to buy everything I need and want. I don't think I will ever live in anything but a flat or own a car as any increase in earnings would probably just go to childcare, education or mortgage for a 3 bed flat (it would be a flat cos I prize location and you need to make compromises to stay within budget and afford the former 2). But I don't really see that as Spartan living, just priorities.

I mean, I know someone who lived in a studio in Kensington without a washing machine despite being able to afford a much bigger place. I think he just prioritized saving and investing...he did also have holidays!

@Onlyrainbows when I think luxury, I think Harrods food hall. Not even planet organic or whole foods (though maybe exclusively shopping there would be a bit higher than comfortably off).

Luxury life: Live in nice and expensive area meant for the wealthy in a property that was traditionally meant for the rich/upper middle class i.e. mansion flat in Kensington, 5 bed detached house in beaconsfield (and its not just expensive because of house price inflation/gentrification); multiple cars or exclusive or very heavy taxi use (London), nanny, private education for the kids even when living in area with decent schools esp boarding school, holiday or multiple homes, multiple overseas holidays in 5* hotel, eating out regularly in high end restaurants that cost £100 per person, expensive hobbies like horse-riding or skiing etc.

Comfortable life: being able to pay the bills and go to a mid-priced restaurant i.e. pizza express on a tastecard/local family eatery/access other entertainment options without it being financially crippling. to be able to buy new clothes from a wide range of shops /Charity Shop Primark to Joules/Boden) and while not every item can be bought from the mid range option, you can shop at a variety of places and not just be limited to the cheapest things you can find. Being able to save. Living in housing which isn't considered overcrowded and not worry about affording it.

No it isn’t the same, but it depends on the starting point.

You have compared a car that works and you can afford (comfort) to a Porsche (luxury)

Then there could be a very old second hand car you just about keep going for years (relative comfort) to a car like your ordinary working one you can afford (luxury).

Then only having a bicycle ( but you can do most things you need with it so quite comfortable) to the second hand car (luxury)

Ad infinitum to poverty in one country seeming like luxury compared to the starvation in another.