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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I'm not lazy to get a cleaner ?

76 replies

Majoritycustody · 15/01/2022 10:18

Single parent to pre schooler. I have 70 to 80 PC custody. Work 4 days a week with a 40 minute commute each way this is an hour if he needs dropping at nursery. Also have a big dog and a new partner. Trying to go gym twice a week aswell! Apparently I'm a lazy cow for getting a fortnightly cleaner? Seriously?!??!

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 15/01/2022 11:50

I bet they wouldn't say that to a man in the same position. Misogyny is everywhere.

Danikm151 · 15/01/2022 11:50

If I had the money I would love to get a cleaner!
Tell them so sod off

sueelleker · 15/01/2022 12:25

@TheKeatingFive

I bet they wouldn't say that to a man in the same position. Misogyny is everywhere.
Of course not-his wife should be doing the cleaning (sarcasm alert)
Dspx · 15/01/2022 12:28

Ignore them I have a cleaner fortnightly I'm a stay at home mum and my partner lives with us. It is a luxury I'm not willing to give up gives me time with my son and an hour a day to myself which is very much needed. Do what makes your like easier xx

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 15/01/2022 12:29

After 'I can afford to get a cleaner' no other details are relevant. Of course YANBU

crosstalk · 15/01/2022 14:13

I have recently hired a cleaner after 6 years without one. Previous cleaners were when I was working full time irregular extensive hours. Felt I couldn't justify it when working part time. However, family said quite rightly I was blind to dust and grime (slightly unfair) and lovely woman is now keeping the place going. On top of which I'm now tidying up before she comes and encouraged to clean and tidy things in between her visits. I can also spend more time in garden and on allotment.

Rangoon · 15/01/2022 14:21

Your parents sound like martyrs. I have had a cleaner almost all of my married life. It has made my life more enjoyable because we don't have to turn to and clean the house at the weekend. We can go out for brunch or read a book etc. I pay fair wages and always include a Christmas bonus. I am wondering if I can get a special oven cleaning service.

Original poster
Majoritycustody · 15/01/2022 14:28

@2bazookas

Maybe your problem is a lazy new partner.
I don't live with my partner.
OP posts:
SallyWD · 15/01/2022 14:39

It's not lazy and it's no one else's business. If you can afford it then fine. It's up to you how you spend your time and money.

TeeBee · 15/01/2022 14:40

I'm in a similar position as you. Single parent, doing most of the parenting. Running two very busy businesses. Lazy has nothing to do with it. I don't have much spare time; I don't want to spend that cleaning other peoples shit up. I'd just laugh in their faces. Who cares about their opinion? Do what works for you.

mumof2exhausted · 15/01/2022 14:45

Everyone I know has a cleaner. I’d rather pay £40 to my cleaner (who is much better at cleaning then me) and use that time to take baby to baby classes and go to the gym!

DPotter · 15/01/2022 14:46

Lazy and proud - that's me

Don't have a cleaner but we do have a gardener and an ironing service, both once a fortnight, as the garden and the ironing are to 2 worst things for my DP and me. Would love a cleaner but last few have let us down so many times that we muddle along with the house cleaning. Oo and I also get the oven cleaned every 6-8 months - now that is £60 well spent.

Like pps' have said if you can afford it, go for it. It's churning money around the system and it lets you get on with the rest of your life.

Whydoesthecatalwaysdothat · 15/01/2022 14:48

It sounds very sensible to me. If you can afford it then why not?

Use your day off to go to the gym then at least you're going once a week.

Spending time on Mumsnet has made me realise how judgemental people are. Cleaners are one of those things you probably shouldn't tell people. No reason why anyone needs to know.

GaspingGekko · 15/01/2022 14:52

It's not about lazy though. It's about prioritising how we spend our time.

We could all bake our own bread, make our own muesli, our own greetings cards, do our own DIY, maintain the garden, etc. But we choose not to do those things because we choose to spend our time in a different manner.
Why is cleaning any different? If you were sitting on your arse sofa, reading mumsnet and watching the cleaner run around cleaning, yes possibly lazy, only possibly mind. But you are choosing to fill your life otherwise.

Greenbather · 15/01/2022 15:03

Course not, and it's totally up to you how you spend your time/money.

YankeeDad · 15/01/2022 15:06

Unless you enjoy cleaning, and assuming you can afford it, hiring a cleaner makes you smart, not lazy.

ilovesooty · 15/01/2022 15:09

@FFSFFSFFS

I’m single work from home about 20 hours a week. I have a cleaner.
I'm single, work about that much mostly from home and I have a fortnightly cleaner. I struggle with mobility sometimes but I hate cleaning anyway. No one's business how I spend my money and that applies to the OP too.
IncompleteSenten · 15/01/2022 15:10

You're not but so what if you were?
You don't get a medal for cleaning your own house.

You won't get to the pearly gates and have at Peter say ah, I see you never engaged a cleaner, please, go right in.

Who's next? I see you employed someone to do your woman job. Sorry, it's downstairs for you.

🙄

People can be fucking ridiculous over this shit.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 15/01/2022 15:11

I dont know why if you can afford it you wouldnt have a cleaner tbh.

sunnybunnyy · 15/01/2022 15:15

I try to go to the gym 4 times a week, my MIL said i should just do housework (which in no way will have the same effect as the gym 🤦‍♀️)

I have a cleaner that comes once a fortnight and cleans for 1 hour 30 minutes, i can guarantee i do more housework than others i know as i have a 1 year old and a 2 year old, i work fulltime and having a cleaner has made such a difference, go for it

HoliHormonalTigerlilly · 15/01/2022 15:16

Can you EVER imagine a man worrying about whether he was being lazy in getting a cleaner? Hmm

Thought not. There's your answer.

DirtyDancing · 15/01/2022 15:20

If they actually called you a lazy cow, seriously and meant it. I shouldn't be speaking to them again.

CheltenhamLady · 15/01/2022 15:45

What rubbish OP.

I have taken early retirement and we have a cleaner, an ironing lady, a gardener, a bin cleaner, a window cleaner and an oven cleaner every 6 months.

Life is too short and you are aiding the economy.

PenCreed · 15/01/2022 15:54

I am wondering if I can get a special oven cleaning service.

@Rangoon you can! Google it for your area and you can find someone who will come and clean your oven for you - it costs us £65 to get the double oven done and it is totally worth it. It hadn't occurred to me as a possibility until someone mentioned they'd had it done and it was a real lightbulb moment.

saraclara · 15/01/2022 19:01

@Lottieskeeper

I'm a stay at home mum and seriously considering getting a cleaner when my DS's free hours kick in at preschool after Easter. I hate cleaning but cannot afford a cleaner until I no longer have to pay for other people to look after my kid; I think I'm probably Very lazy and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

But do you have to tidy before the cleaner comes? Or can they do an hour tidying and then an hour cleaning?

In general, cleaners don't tidy. If they did it would almost certainly cause a world of problems. They won't know where things go, and their home life will be rudely interrupted by constant messages from their clients asking where they put something (or far worse, blaming them for mislaying something they didn't even touch!)

But as a naturally untidy person, having a cleaner has been a good discipline for me. It means that the house never gets really untidy any more, because, on cleaning day, I have to spend a bit of time (and it's really not long, as it never gets bad now) just whooshing through the house picking things up and popping them in drawers/cupboards/the dirty laundry basket.

When my kids were home it solved the problem of me having to nag them to tidy their bedrooms, too! The night before, they had to tidy before bed because 'D' wants them to. And they really liked D!