To not wear a mask when breastfeeding my baby

[Catsdogsandfoxes]

Was feeding 3 mo DS on the train through London this afternoon and took my mask off so he could see my face properly and we could interact. I find BF weird with a mask on. AIBU?

Lol at people bringing up public health, selfishness etc

This has nothing to do with public health!

I will always choose to support a young mother and a baby than try to placate (unsuccessfully) Karen's, as evident from this thread.

@Antsinmypantsneedtodance

YANBU breastfeeding with a mask on is a pain. Especially when breastfeeding a toddler...they just ping it.

People who are saying you dont need to interact with your child when breastfeeding obviously haven't been doing it right! Breastfeeding is all about nurturing and bonding. In addition to obviously the feeding part.

Don’t be ridiculous. Feeding on a train is a functional action, not a fluffy bonding experience.

OP you should have kept your mask on.

People's responses actually surprise me! There was actually no one sat around me as the train was v quiet but just wondered what people thought...half of London don't seem to be wearing them at the mo. My baby was upset and I wanted him to see my face so I could comfort him while feeding...and I don't regret it!

Presumably this is one feed....It's not as if OP is on a train 24/7 so her baby never gets to see her face.

It's one time. One.

I used to feed DS when I was eating in a restaurant so was hardly gazing into his eyes...was concentrating more on not dropping carbonara on his head. During this time he couldn't see my smiles or social queues...

I'm not super pro mask and in general think they're effectiveness is overstated in the community where they're not used correctly and re-used/cloth masks sit in pockets for weeks at a time, people take them off to eat etc.

However if your pro-mask I think YABU to think breastfeeding is so special as to warrant its removal. Not every feed is about bonding. As is brought up on many pro breastfeeding threads it's just a baby having its lunch, if a bottle fed baby was having its lunch you wouldn't need to remove your mask either and as your mask doesn't prevent access to your breast (which is the only difference to bottle feeding) it didn't need to be removed.

Given you feed with your boob and not your mouth or nose, I would say YABU. This is as someone who had bf for the duration of the pandemic, and many times wearing a mask. Some feeds will be lovely bonding times, others are just about food (this applies equally to bottles). I think you should only remove your mask when wearing it is required if necessary or exempt. Breastfeeding is neither of these things.

@Catsdogsandfoxes

People's responses actually surprise me! There was actually no one sat around me as the train was v quiet but just wondered what people thought...half of London don't seem to be wearing them at the mo. My baby was upset and I wanted him to see my face so I could comfort him while feeding...and I don't regret it!

Good.

My baby was upset and I wanted him to see my face so I could comfort him while feeding...and I don't regret it!

Then all power to you. But don't try and frame it as some 'breast feeding is so special it deserves mask exemption' thing. You didn't want to wear your mask in that moment for your own reasons so you didn't. That's it. Same as many other people who have their own reasons - as long as you don't go criticising them. Personally I've found hypocrites one of the biggest annoyances of the pandemic.

Good for you, OP! Your baby was your priority, which is as it should be.

My baby was upset and I wanted him to see my face so I could comfort him while feeding...and I don't regret it!

So, why are you asking then OP? Because you expected everyone to agree with you?

I usually take my mask off while BF too I don't know why it's just instinct. Not sure what I would do on a train though.

Yabu I bf all of mine past 2 so can't be accused if not doing it right.

You were on a train you should wear a mask. A few feeds in a train with a mask in won't mess up any "connection"

@Catsdogsandfoxes

People's responses actually surprise me! There was actually no one sat around me as the train was v quiet but just wondered what people thought...half of London don't seem to be wearing them at the mo. My baby was upset and I wanted him to see my face so I could comfort him while feeding...and I don't regret it!

So the point of this thread is what?

Lolling at the bird comment 😂😂

@Catsdogsandfoxes

Was feeding 3 mo DS on the train through London this afternoon and took my mask off so he could see my face properly and we could interact. I find BF weird with a mask on. AIBU?

Yabu because masks need to be worn on a train. It's only one feed, plenty of time to interact at other feeding times. ( loved the way baby looked up at me when feeding )

I couldn't breathe when I was breastfeeding with a mask. In earlier days, yes she will pull it off. Now she's older, it's the opposite. I wear it on a lanyard and once the lanyard is on, she is trying to get my mouth covered, even if we're at home

Smell is insanely important when it comes to you bonding with you baby, and the sight of your face is insanely important when it comes to your baby bonding with you. As well as the smell if your breath onto baby. There's a reason why newborns only have the ability to see as far I ln front of them as your face, everything further away is blurry. Imo, YANBU at all.

That said , if it was an absolutely packed train at rush hour, yeah keep mask on for others. But if a relatively normal , not crowded train , then yanbu.

@Catsdogsandfoxes - I’m glad you followed your instincts. You did what was best for you and your baby and put your child above all others which is how it should be. You sound like a great mum.

I don’t care either way if the OP wore a mask or not but some of the bullshit about eye contact and communication is why so many women feel inadequate about breastfeeding. If you are feeding your baby with your breast, you are breastfeeding! There is no right or wrong way.

@DuchessSilver

I find it hard to see what I'm doing breastfeeding with a mask on so I think YANBU.

Not sure how you wear your mask but you do realise you don't need to cover your eyes with it don't you?

I’m confused. Do you only interact with your baby while breastfeeding then?

@Catsdogsandfoxes I wouldn't have worn one either, OP. And I didn't breastfeed! However they are being fed, babies need to see their mum's whole face, not just their eyes. I actually think that having a baby or young child ought to give you automatic exemption, as they need to learn to communicate with their whole faces and bodies, and can't do this if they can't see their mum's/dad's/carer's whole face.

@Legomania

Am the only one whose babies just cracked on with the feed rather than interacting at the same time?

Nope, mine did as well. She preferred me not to look at her, if I did she would unlatch and stare pointedly back at me until I looked away 😂

To be honest I spent most feeds watching telly/reading/on my phone 🤷🏼‍♀️

@LemonDrizzles

I couldn't breathe when I was breastfeeding with a mask. In earlier days, yes she will pull it off. Now she's older, it's the opposite. I wear it on a lanyard and once the lanyard is on, she is trying to get my mouth covered, even if we're at home

That is very sad. Small children shouldn't be conditioned to cover up their mother's face.