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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital apt - family member with covid

85 replies

jane19771 · 14/01/2022 14:53

I have a hospital outpatients appointment in a weeks time, suspected cancer. My son currently has covid but I do not. They don't want people to attend if they have been in Close contact with someone with covid over the last 14 days.

Aibu to attend anyway (providing I have a negative lateral flow test on the day) because :

It's almost impossible to get an apt with them

They don't answer the phone ever with no alternate means of contact so cannot rebook, which is what I would have done normally

I don't have covid and will not attend if I test positive

I don't want to die of cancer

I know aibu really and I'm sure I'll get flamed but I feel the cancer risk outweighs the risk provided I don't have covid.

What would you do?

Remember - you can never get hold of them so rebooking is out of the question sadly

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 14/01/2022 14:56

You need to follow their policy. It’s to protect all their patients.

Is it an nhs appointment? I would keep trying to phone the clinic and ask what they can offer you. You will get through eventually. If you’ve been sent on a cancer referral, it could be another quick appointment. This happened to me and I was just seen the following week.

I hope everything comes back clear. Flowers

Pugroll · 14/01/2022 14:58

I would go, you don't know when you will be able to get another appointment. The hospital here has all but given up on testing people as they come in, even those with symptoms they don't test until a few hours after admission, what's the point?

Original poster
jane19771 · 14/01/2022 15:05

Thanks yes I understand and want to follow policy, just can't get hold of them so if I don't attend they will refer me back to my GP so feel like I can't win :-(

Would they bother to find out and if so what would the consequence be anyway?

I'm sure it must sound selfish, I'm not a selfish person but have limited options

OP posts:
Tabitha888 · 14/01/2022 15:11

Not normally one to jump in like this, but most cancer patients they treat will be immune suppressed. Which means covid will most likely kill them. This is why the policy is in place. Just keep pushing to get intouch, or explain before you go in. There's also still a chance you'll get covid still.
I understand how hard it is, but push through the contact. I couldn't imagine how horrible this situation must be for you. Maybe turn up at the place and explain before hand. Or go now will you are negative and try and rearrange. Good luck and i hope you are ok xxx

Fallagain · 14/01/2022 15:13

People with covid are infectious before they test positive.

SummerHouse · 14/01/2022 15:14

Please go.

Get this thread deleted.

You never saw me.

SummerHouse · 14/01/2022 15:19

That guidance is excessive. Isolation for actual covid is down to five days for some.

Omicron is very catchy very quickly. If you were to get it it's a much shorter incubation period. Three days or so. If, in a week's time, you have no symptoms and a negative LFT what are the chances of you having it. I think the risk of missing the appointment would outweigh the risk you would pose. By a long way.

I cancelled a long awaited scan last week for DS. Because he had a virus. So my feelings are not gung ho.

Please go.

CurzonDax · 14/01/2022 15:24

OP, I really hope you do not have cancer, and if it is - it can be treated quickly quickly and fairly easily.

But, the rules are there for a reason. I assume if you have suspected cancer, you will be seeing doctors that will be in close contact with confirmed cancer patients. Please do not put the lives of multiple people, undergoing treatment that suppresses their immune system, at risk.

I really feel for you, but this is not fair, and incredibly dangerous for those people.

Do everything you can to get in contact with them, and rearrange the appointment in line with their policy.

Biglumpycustard · 14/01/2022 15:26

I would go, as you said if you do manage to change it, it could be even more weeks away. I think just keep testing daily and if your still negative, then go

CurzonDax · 14/01/2022 15:27

That guidance is excessive. Isolation for actual covid is down to five days for some.

the guidance is excessive as the hospital are, quite rightly, trying to protect their patients, who are undergoing treatment that suppresses their immune systems. The guidance may seem excessive to you, but to cancer patients - it could save their lives.

Blupblup · 14/01/2022 15:29

I have a hospital appt next week (not for cancer though) and DD has covid. They have said I can still attend with a negative PCR. She should be out of isolation the day before the appointment. I'd keep trying to contact them - can you try calling your GP surgery and asking them to contact them on your behalf or give you alternative contact details (email address?).

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/01/2022 15:31

I would go.

Mask with a decent mask worn properly and sanitise hands but go.

Kitkat151 · 14/01/2022 15:31

You have to answer questions on arrival to book in....one of them will be have you been in close contact.....are you a good liar? I’m not judging....if you ok lying then go

Kitkat151 · 14/01/2022 15:33

@SummerHouse

That guidance is excessive. Isolation for actual covid is down to five days for some.

Omicron is very catchy very quickly. If you were to get it it's a much shorter incubation period. Three days or so. If, in a week's time, you have no symptoms and a negative LFT what are the chances of you having it. I think the risk of missing the appointment would outweigh the risk you would pose. By a long way.

I cancelled a long awaited scan last week for DS. Because he had a virus. So my feelings are not gung ho.

Please go.

The guidance will be excessive because there will be people there who actually have cancer, who actually have low immunity and who actually could easily die from Covid 🙄
millymolls · 14/01/2022 15:34

Do a lft and Go to your appt

RoomOfRequirement · 14/01/2022 15:34

I'm so sorry you're in this awful position OP Flowers

I really wouldn't go though. I'm sorry, because I understand how stressed this must be making you and the wait alone must be awful. But the problem is if you aren't testing positive yet but are carrying the virus it really could be transmitted to someone else with cancer, and if they're undergoing treatment it could be life threatening for them.

I really would keep trying to call, multiple times if you need to. I'd also try your GP for advice, and maybe the hospital reception/switchboard? Or, long shot but do you have a friend or relative who could go into the department for you and explain the situation and ask them to call you? They obviously couldn't give any details to the friend but once they speak to you that could work?

I'm sorry. I hope it works out for you.

SunnyLeaf · 14/01/2022 15:38

I would focus efforts on trying to get hold of them to rearrange - there must be SOME contact details for someone in the hospital even if not for that team…can you flag to GP’s surgery and find out what contact details they have, as they will have some. Contact any other phone/email address you can find closest to the right department. If there was really no way I would kick up a fuss and email CCG, maybe MP to highlight the ridiculousness of this situation for very vulnerable cancer patients and those who need to be seen urgently. Good luck Smile but no I wouldn’t go anyway as could kill those having treatment with very little immune system

Blueberryflavour · 14/01/2022 15:41

I was in for an outpatients appointment this week for a biopsy (query cancer) and I had nothing like that asked of me. I went straight from work (essential role so I’m in office every day and would still have to go to work if my DH tested positive ) I have no Covid home contact right enough, but they didn’t even ask me to do a LFT test first. I did and it was negative, but they never asked me if I had.

ittakes2 · 14/01/2022 15:41

I would ring the hospital PALs or complaints department just to get through and ask. I get why you would want to go but if you are entering an area which has chemo patients with zero immunity and you bring in covid you could be giving them a death sentence.
Maybe have a PCR a few days beforehand and isolate from your son until the appt?

Original poster
jane19771 · 14/01/2022 15:45

Thanks for your advice everyone.

Just to confirm I won't be entering an area with chemo patients, it's an outpatients department.

I will keep trying to call them..!

OP posts:
Tomnooktoldmeto · 14/01/2022 15:45

If you’re going to go whatever please wear an FFP3 mask to protect everyone else from you. FFP3 has 99.6% filtration and can be purchased from Amazon. Do not buy a valved one they release particles

Slowfoxfast · 14/01/2022 15:53

Outpatients departments will have people who are having chemo in them. Some cancer patients are on long term chemo or immunosuppressant medication and they will be attending outpatient appointments. You can't possibly know the status of other waiting patients and I know 4 people with cancer currently taking medication that makes them vulnerable to covid. I know waiting is worrying but the rules are there to protect everyone.

lostoldname · 14/01/2022 15:57

Is it with someone who is isolating or 14 days from the date of his test?

Fraternaltwin · 14/01/2022 15:57

Of course you shouldn’t go. A negative lateral flow means nothing unfortunately. You could have covid and test negative on a lateral flow. This happened with my son. His pcr test as positive after a negative lateral flow. Fortunately he had some symptoms so did the pcr.

I appreciate you want to attend this appointment, but your health needs don’t trump those of other vulnerable people in the outpatient department. Not all cancer patients have their treatment as an in patient.

Please don’t put other vulnerable people at risk unnecessarily. You should rearrange your appointment.

CharlotteRose90 · 14/01/2022 15:58

You know what I’d go. Cancer is more important then covid and I personally know some people who’s chemo or cancer appointments have been cancelled thanks to covid taking preference so if you can go then go.