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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hospital apt - family member with covid

85 replies

jane19771 · 14/01/2022 14:53

I have a hospital outpatients appointment in a weeks time, suspected cancer. My son currently has covid but I do not. They don't want people to attend if they have been in Close contact with someone with covid over the last 14 days.

Aibu to attend anyway (providing I have a negative lateral flow test on the day) because :

It's almost impossible to get an apt with them

They don't answer the phone ever with no alternate means of contact so cannot rebook, which is what I would have done normally

I don't have covid and will not attend if I test positive

I don't want to die of cancer

I know aibu really and I'm sure I'll get flamed but I feel the cancer risk outweighs the risk provided I don't have covid.

What would you do?

Remember - you can never get hold of them so rebooking is out of the question sadly

OP posts:
PoppyFleur · 14/01/2022 15:59

Hi OP,

I attend an oncology unit and the hospital are no longer testing us. I can only hope that the other patients are doing a LFT but you never know, I am certainly never asked, either as a day patient or out patient. As long as you test negative on an LFT, I would continue to attend your appointment.

At the end of the day as a CEV patient I have been vaccinated and boosted for Covid, there are dozens of other infections and viruses that could make me extremely unwell that I haven't been boosted for! We all wear masks in hospital and sit socially distanced in outpatient areas, the risk where possible has been minimised.

As long as you test negative, go to your appointment, your life matters too. I wish you well.

Silkieschickens · 14/01/2022 16:09

I would keep trying to call. I have breast cancer and first time it took me 3 hours to get through but I did eventually.

I would not go if that is the rule. I have cancer now and if I catch covid my surgery to remove my cancer is put back another 7 weeks as that is the guidelines for cancer surgery plus if you infect staff, patients with chemo are at much increased risk. In our clinic people are mixed in together and also you are asked on arrival if anyone in household has covid or you have covid symptoms and would be turned away unless you lie about it.

Slowfoxfast · 14/01/2022 16:11

At the end of the day as a CEV patient I have been vaccinated and boosted for Covid

You might feel like this but you can't speak for other people. Some people have a very poor antibody response with the vaccines and have practically none to speak of. Clearly the hospital thinks their patients are at risk which is why they've asked the OP not to attend if she has been a close contact.

OP you really should not go.

Aspidistra1 · 14/01/2022 16:12

Who are you trying to get through to? If you know the name of the doctor you are seeing try phoning their secretary rather than any generic bookings number. Might have more luck that way. If not ask for the secretaries of that department e.g. respiratory secretaries, gastroenterology secretaries.

Silkieschickens · 14/01/2022 16:14

What you can also do is phone general hospital number explain and they may well put you through to a direct line which will probably go to ansaphone but generally someone will call you back a few hours later rather than being on hold or ringing out.

spudjulia · 14/01/2022 16:14

Oh good god, no. Not an oncology unit. I'm not sure when I'd bend those rules, but definitely not in this case. I'm really sorry, you must be quite terrified.

ecceromani · 14/01/2022 16:22

@jane19771
If you cannot ever get through it may be because the phone no. is no longer in use.

This happened to me last summer.
I got an appointment through for a scan which I no longer required. I rang for several days at different times and it just rang out.
I had the consultants name so I rang hospital and asked for his secretary. She was able to cancel it for me, and told me that was no longer the number🤷🏼‍♀️
Could you try this? GP could probably tell you consultant is if you don't know

LadyPenelope68 · 14/01/2022 16:25

@jane19771
Just to confirm I won't be entering an area with chemo patients, it's an outpatients department.
An out-patient appointment in an Oncology Department where people with compromised immune systems will be!!! Are you really so stupid that you don’t realise the risk you could put other people at? Unbelievable 😡

ThreeLittleDots · 14/01/2022 16:29

If your son doesn't live with you I would isolate myself entirely, do regular LFTs and attend. However if he's in the same household I would try to get hold of the clinic via the main switchboard.

CorrBlimeyGG · 14/01/2022 16:31

People undergoing treatment also attend outpatients.

You'd be incredibly selfish to go. If you can't get through to the department, call switchboard, and email the general email for the hospital.

Flowersandhearts · 14/01/2022 16:32

I would probably go anyway but maybe you should take a Boots Travel PCR test for people without Covid a few days before, in addition to the lateral flow?

It's 1 in 15 people who have Covid at the moment. Omicron is much milder and is spreading via asymptomatic carriers all of the time now.

I am very for sticking to the rules and for protecting others. However if you are wearing a surgical 2R mask (or FFP3 is even better), have a negative lateral flow and sit away from others then the risk of you spreading it is very low.

PossiblyDreaming · 14/01/2022 16:33

Has OP stated it’s an oncology department? My cancer wasn’t diagnosed at an oncology department.

I’d go, simply because I know how impossible it is to contact anyone to cancel an appointment, you then fail to attend and are taken off the list entirely. Book a PCR for a couple of days before, as long as that’s negative then go.

Flowersandhearts · 14/01/2022 16:33

Oh sorry for some reason I assumed your son lived away from you/was fully grown. I wouldn't necessarily recommend going if he lives with you as a lateral flow could miss a positive case.

itsjustnotok · 14/01/2022 16:34

@jane19771 call PALS if you need to but don’t just turn up. Just because you are going to an outpatient department it doesn’t mean the people there aren’t on chemo at present. Some of those people will be immune suppressed and will rely on people doing their best. PALs will help you if you are struggling to get hold of someone.

esloquehay · 14/01/2022 16:37

Say you have cancer and it progresses; you're undergoing chemo, but got an outpatients' appt: how would you feel THEN if someone with possible CoVid came in?
You don't want to die of cancer, but someone with cancer most probably does not want to die from CoVid.
👍

doodleygirl · 14/01/2022 16:37

I would go. I would get a pcr a few days before and lateral flow on the day.

AmyandPhilipfan · 14/01/2022 16:52

I would go. Wash hands, sanitise, wear clean clothes, mask up and hand sanitise as you get into the building then try not to sit too close to anyone in the waiting room. Surely that’s a very minimal risk as long as you’re not coughing/sneezing? I know of people who’ve died since Covid due to delayed or cancelled appointments because of Covid who might still be here if those appointments had taken place. So I would minimise risk to other people as much as I could but I would not miss my appointment.

Silkieschickens · 14/01/2022 17:03

This is why I am turning down chemo, its too big a risk when so many think its OK to carry on as normal with covid or covid close contact. You can't not have contact in the centres with anyone especially the staff.

LittleGwyneth · 14/01/2022 18:37

I would go if I had a negative test, and I think you should too.

theshadeofgreen · 14/01/2022 19:03

I'm with @SummerHouse on this one OP. Sending lots of love and luck your way.

dinahsdishes · 14/01/2022 19:06

I had outpatients appointments whilst having Chemo and waited In the normal area. I've had 3 jabs and due a 4th next week - having had antibodies tested, I don't have any and am immunosuppressed through current meds. I'd be annoyed to contract covid from someone else waiting in outpatients and with my conditions would probably die.

I have sympathy for you needing the appointment and I hope that you're clear but please don't attend whilst your in close contact with covid.

Lovelydovey · 14/01/2022 19:06

My DF passed away after picking up covid at a hospital appointment (the only time he left the house at that time was for hospital appointments). He was immunosuppressed and on chemo but also attended other outpatient appointments for other issues.

Please try and rearrange.

The3Ls · 14/01/2022 19:22

The guidance uus there because we are losing staff at a rate of knots also. We ve so many isolating we can barely keep clinics open. If you give staff covid then they isolate many manny people in your position will have their appointment cancelled. We specifically ask so be prepared to lie to someone's face

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 14/01/2022 19:23

Exactly how stupid are you? Or are you not stupid and just breathtakingly selfish? The other patients will be immune suppressed which is why the guidance is so extreme. Because covid would likely kill them.

How would you feel in their place? You make it through chemo and then someone turns up in outpatients knowing they may have covid?

MoiraRosefan · 14/01/2022 19:42

I can't believe people on here are saying the OP is selfish or stupid for wanting to attend her appointment.

It is suspected cancer! If OP has a negative PCR test a day or 2 before and follows all other guidelines she should absolutely go.
I imagine those saying she shouldn't go have never been in her position.
Where I live (within UK) patients currently receiving cancer treatments are seen in a dedicated cancer centre. Initial appointments are not in this area.