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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Car crash not my fault

112 replies

Shibby585 · 13/01/2022 12:52

Just wondering people's thoughts on this. Been driving for 15 years, 12 years no claims on my own policy. Was hit by a young driver from behind as I was waiting to pull off at the roundabout, she was really upset and I said its OK. I got her to pull over, told her to put hazards on and checked our cars.

There was more damage to hers than mine, I have some scuffs and some paint mark. I told her again not to worry and asked for insurance details, she said she didn't know them. She was upset so I also spoke to her dad and said there was only a bit of damage and we were both OK. I told them. I had the car in for a service the next day so would get it checked for safety. Dad also apparently did not know insurance details.

Got the girls number went home and messaged all my details, again she apologised and said if there were any repairs she would pay. I said that's fine I probably just need a new car seat it's probably not worth repair.

I asked again for details to cover myself in case of injury or something turned up wrong with the car she again refused. Then her dad got involved and started messaging saying he didn't have to provide details and they would pay for the car seat. I said if I didn't get them I would notify insurance and police. He said he's already made a police report.

I had to take the day off work and had to take it today, so I've been and got checked I have whiplash. In the end I got sick and rang my insurance and have asked them to deal with it all.

I feel really bad as her insurance will go up and the damage wasn't major, but I got sick of asking and I am actually injured and there is damage to my car. Am I the asshole here?

OP posts:
Puccini3506 · 13/01/2022 15:10

I'd advise anyone to buy a front and back dashcam these days. Mine was about £40 and a doddle to install....

soughsigh · 13/01/2022 15:11

I thought insurance companies didn't pay out for whiplash anymore? Since it's an injury that can't actually be medically verified so people can easily fake the pain.

Let the insurance companies sort it out. I would assume either she isn't insured to drive to vehicle or she doesn't want her premiums to go up by making a claim. If it's the latter, yours shouldn't go up. Sadly if she's uninsured, you will have to swallow that. You won't lose your whole no claims, maybe 3 years (it should state in your policy how many years no claims an accident gets you).

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/01/2022 15:23

@NiceTwin

She must have been going at a fair whack to give you whiplash, surprised the damage on your car is so minor.
You don't need to be going that fast to get whiplash - it only really means strained neck/upper back muscles, anyway.
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/01/2022 15:23

Oh, and I suspect the girl wasn't insured or only has third party, hence why she's refusing to give her details (which is a crime and should be reported to the police).

mommybear1 · 13/01/2022 15:26

You did the right thing - usually under your t&c's you have to report any incident to your insurers in any event.

JudgeJ · 13/01/2022 15:29

@daimbarsatemydogsbone

Except for use of the term "asshole"
But MN is the home of some of the foulest language used with impunity, why not 'asshole' though the English language version of 'arsehole' is better?
Original poster
Shibby585 · 13/01/2022 15:30

@NiceTwin this is what I don't understand was a minor bump, although my car is suv so higher than hers, a few scuffs and paint chip. Hers had a dent and crack in the middle so more than mine. Felt OK first day, second day neck hurt and migraine so took the day off work and today my neck kills and I feel so headachy and sick. I didn't think she was going that fast?

OP posts:
EricScrantona · 13/01/2022 15:30

You don't need to pay a small fee, your insurance are able to see who it is insured with. You've done the right thing. They are either not insured correctly or don't want an increased premium.

Foolsrule · 13/01/2022 16:04

Why is everyone infantilizing the woman who caused the accident? She’s not a girl, she’s a woman. Why is her dad involved? Was he in the car? If not, it’s none of his business. It’s her mess to clear up.

If she’s old enough to drive, she’s old enough to know what she does in the event of an accident, particularly one she’s caused. If she’s old enough to drive, she should know that she should (technically) have a copy of her insurance details with her in the car.

MrsPinkCock · 13/01/2022 16:05

[quote Shibby585]@NiceTwin this is what I don't understand was a minor bump, although my car is suv so higher than hers, a few scuffs and paint chip. Hers had a dent and crack in the middle so more than mine. Felt OK first day, second day neck hurt and migraine so took the day off work and today my neck kills and I feel so headachy and sick. I didn't think she was going that fast?[/quote]
I worked for six months in personal injury when I was doing my training contract.

We regularly had whiplash claims for cars that collided at or around 10MPH.

vixeyann · 13/01/2022 16:07

Your obliged to report any accident or damage to the insurer anyway, regardless of claiming so you are doing the right thing and saving yourself hassle. What if you had a long term condition that took a while to show and you need physio etc.

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 13/01/2022 16:32

You can get whiplash from fairly low speeds. Anyway, I think whiplash is just a term used for neck pain in this situation, as it would be far too early to determine whether there was long term lasting damage.

It's not necessarily the speed, it's the force - I was hit by a large vehicle accelerating from a standstill. And whiplash is most certainly not 'just a term for neck pain". As someone who has suffered the after effects of 'just' whiplash for nearly 10 years now, not only is it my neck, but my shoulders, the muscles in my face (causing migraines), my back and the muscles around my ribcage.

Anyone who thinks whiplash is 'just' anything, or indeed an automatic insurance con, should just be bloody grateful they don't find out what it can really be like.

Exasperatedhousehunter · 13/01/2022 16:34

@GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin

You can get whiplash from fairly low speeds. Anyway, I think whiplash is just a term used for neck pain in this situation, as it would be far too early to determine whether there was long term lasting damage.

It's not necessarily the speed, it's the force - I was hit by a large vehicle accelerating from a standstill. And whiplash is most certainly not 'just a term for neck pain". As someone who has suffered the after effects of 'just' whiplash for nearly 10 years now, not only is it my neck, but my shoulders, the muscles in my face (causing migraines), my back and the muscles around my ribcage.

Anyone who thinks whiplash is 'just' anything, or indeed an automatic insurance con, should just be bloody grateful they don't find out what it can really be like.

I’m saying that it’s been a very short period of time since the accident so you can’t tell at this stage whether it is anything beyond neck pain that might go away. Not that whiplash doesn’t exist.
Original poster
Shibby585 · 13/01/2022 16:34

@Foolsrule this is exactly how I felt when we got out the car she said she didn't know who her insurance was. I messaged several times asking for this information and multiple times I was told that I didn't need it and then her dad started replying saying this is - - - - - dad and you don't need this information. For all I knew she was uninsured as their refusal to give me the details seemed very odd for me.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 13/01/2022 16:39

Youve done nothing wrong. Completely neutral.
When I accidently damaged someones car, i just gave my name and number. Took photos of any damage/scratches for myself and their car reg, and they went through insurance. My own fault. Its totally normal that youd do this

NiceTwin · 13/01/2022 16:40

@Shibby585 I got whiplash falling off my bloody horse 🤣, so I guess anything is possible.

If you report to your insurance with her number plate, they can find out if she is insured or not.
The benefit of going through insurance is that you don't have to speak to her, or her dick head dad!

Exasperatedhousehunter · 13/01/2022 16:41

So did your insurance company say that she was insured?

yellowtwo · 13/01/2022 16:43

Make sure you keep the messages OP, sounds obvious but just in case! Just don't message the Dad back if he contacts you again. It could take a few days to feel the full extent of any injuries so take it easy and look after yourself.

SlashBeef · 13/01/2022 16:44

So have you now reported to police?

viques · 13/01/2022 16:51

@Cabbagepie

Make sure your car is fully checked out. Someone went into the back of me in a queue of traffic, fairly low speed and looked like only my rear bumper was damaged - their car looked much worse. Got home and opened the hatchback and then it wouldn't close properly. Insurers told me not to drive it and collected it on a recovery vehicle. Turned out the floor was buckled and the car was written off.
I had the same issue. Even slight bumps from larger heavier cars can do immense damage to a smaller car. My “bumpee” told me I shouldn’t be driving because I was obviously scared to pull out in front of oncoming traffic. I told him it was my choice to decide when it was safe to pullout and that if he had kept a reasonable distance behind me instead of sticking his car up my exhaust he would have been able to control his car and stop. He was a little bit taken back.
GladAllOver · 13/01/2022 16:53

OP you have done exactly the right thing.

Original poster
Shibby585 · 13/01/2022 16:55

Yup all reported to police did a report online and my insurance seem to think she has insurance. But apparently the insurance is her sisters, the message I received (from the dad) was once - - - sister provides insurance details we will pass it over. Obviously this never materialised I asked 3 times (this was initially just to prove she had insurance). I've only got the name she gave me so it could have been her sisters name they gave me for all I know.

Anyway it's all with insurance now, I blocked her number as its given me anxiety and I'm not feeling well enough to deal with it. I've now started getting calls from private number and mobile number I don't recognise so I've just ignored them, have a feeling either her dad is trying to get in touch or she is by another number.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/01/2022 16:57

OK. So keep those messages as they show they are both breaking the law. It is obligatory to exchange info after an accident, so start there.

Stop dithering because you have a bigger car or don't want to be mean to her or some such. Just report it and yes, get your whiplash sorted immediately, don't wait or it will haunt you for years.

jgw1 · 13/01/2022 16:58

@Intravenousbitch

YANBU. Going through insurance will be less hassle for you. I thought that refusing to give your insurance details was an offence? I would report this to the police.
If you are involved in a collision as a driver then you must report it to the police under section 170 of the Road Traffic Act 1988. And it is an offence under the same section not to provide your details to anyone who has reasonable grounds for requiring it.

So I suggest if you haven't already done so you report the accident to the police.

jgw1 · 13/01/2022 16:58

Sorry ignore should have read the thread further.