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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour's kid

144 replies

claramaria · 13/01/2022 12:11

The neighbours a few doors down from us send their child to the same school that mine attend.
A few morning recently I've seen neighbour walking kid to school (she's in Year 1) eating a packet of crisps. Seriously. At 8.30am. Maybe that's all the kid gets in the way of "breakfast". Kid is overweight (as are parents) and it upsets me to see a young child walking to school eating a packet of crisps for breakfast.
I was brought up in a culture where children eat healthy, nourishing breakfast at home (or at before school club), not crisps in the street. AIBU to find this an upsetting sight?

OP posts:
StrawberryFever · 14/01/2022 06:00

Honestly I find it upsetting seeing clearly overweight children. Full stop. And yes I do find it upsetting seeing clearly overweight children eating junk food. NOT because I judge the parents, I know how situations can be complicated, but because it is unhealthy for a child to be overweight and it's upsetting to see a child suffering with their health in any way. And eating junk food is clearly just compounding the problem.

In the same way as knowing a child is suffering with cancer (or any other health problem) is upsetting - it doesn't mean anyone is to blame, but it's still upsetting.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 14/01/2022 06:02

I was brought up in a culture where children eat healthy, nourishing breakfast at home (or at before school club), not crisps in the street

How wonderful for you.

I was bought up not to be mean/judge to others.

Sockwomble · 14/01/2022 06:09

You are going over the top with the "upsetting" OP.
We occasionally give ds ( who is slim and has a healthy diet) a biscuit to encourage/ distract him to get on school transport when he has become distressed about something. Personally I find the self injurious behaviour more upsetting than the biscuit.

Isitschool · 14/01/2022 07:04

@Justilou1

While technically it’s none of your beeswax, you could have a wee chat to the school if they have a healthy eating agenda.
🤔 they were not at school
RasputinsPickledPenis · 14/01/2022 07:11

Is it the crisps or the eating in the street that's "upsetting" you?

Pugroll · 14/01/2022 07:17

Poor child, being set up for a lifetime of battling their weight and/or health problems and bullying from being overweight. Eating crisps on the way to school is gross, but of course- mind your own business always gets said on here. If there was something else detrimental to their health they were doing you'd be told to intervene, but fat shaming is seen as worse.

MissNothing1991 · 14/01/2022 07:37

Would hate to live near someone as nosey, bitchy and judgemental as you. Worry about your own family ffs and hope they don't inherit your undying need to think you're better than others.

As an example, money is very tight for me. I'm a lone parent, no contact or financial support from her dad. I'm currently unemployed as I was made redundant, difficulty finding a new job with suitable hours as I have no family support for childcare. My daughter has what I feel to be an overall healthy diet. However, this comes at a cost. I spend more money on her food than my own. I'm wearing clothes 3 sizes too big for me because, by providing that healthy food for my kid, along with clothing, gas and electric, there is no money left for me to buy anything I need. Sometimes, I have next to nothing to eat. Would I really want to see someone sneer at me if I went out eating a bag of crisps for my breakfast? I can guarantee you now if I spent money on the much needed clothes I want to get but can't afford, my daughter would not be sitting with fresh fruit etc. She would also be eating something less healthy. Must be great to be perfect like you OP.

Pugroll · 14/01/2022 07:42

@MissNothing1991

Would hate to live near someone as nosey, bitchy and judgemental as you. Worry about your own family ffs and hope they don't inherit your undying need to think you're better than others.

As an example, money is very tight for me. I'm a lone parent, no contact or financial support from her dad. I'm currently unemployed as I was made redundant, difficulty finding a new job with suitable hours as I have no family support for childcare. My daughter has what I feel to be an overall healthy diet. However, this comes at a cost. I spend more money on her food than my own. I'm wearing clothes 3 sizes too big for me because, by providing that healthy food for my kid, along with clothing, gas and electric, there is no money left for me to buy anything I need. Sometimes, I have next to nothing to eat. Would I really want to see someone sneer at me if I went out eating a bag of crisps for my breakfast? I can guarantee you now if I spent money on the much needed clothes I want to get but can't afford, my daughter would not be sitting with fresh fruit etc. She would also be eating something less healthy. Must be great to be perfect like you OP.

You don't have to be perfect to not give an already overweight child crisps as they walk to school for breakfast.
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/01/2022 07:54

@MissNothing1991

Maybe ask your daughters school if they have a free breakfast club for families who are struggling at the moment.

Missey85 · 14/01/2022 08:06

YABU and also very judgmental god forbid a child has some crisps ☺

lollipoprainbow · 14/01/2022 08:13

Mind your own business and stop being so smug!!

Pugroll · 14/01/2022 09:36

@lollipoprainbow

Mind your own business and stop being so smug!!
How is it smug?
PenelopePitstop79 · 14/01/2022 09:40

@Andtheyalllookjustthesame

If I saw this my first thought would be ARFID/selective eating and/or Autism, tbh
Yes my child has autism and has had a pack of milk chocolate digestives for breakfast. Specialist has said give him what he will eat.

Anyway also OP, for all you know the child may have already eaten breakfast at 6am.

PenelopePitstop79 · 14/01/2022 09:42

@Handholding587

I wondered how long it would be before someone called 'autistic.' It seems to be only on MN can a child do something as innocuous as eating a bag of crisps before they get a label of potential autism.
Probably because it's common now and a lot of us have experienced this. I've had people judge my child when I'm relieved to have him eat at all.

Even if a child's not autistic, it's hardly the end of the world to have a packet of crisps.

RedCandyApple · 14/01/2022 09:54

This is so ridiculous, it’s funny there is a thread that was posted on here about a mum suffering from social anxiety around the school run and everyone was telling her she was being silly and “no one judges” yet in 24 hours there have been two judgemental posts one about a mum driving her kid to school and one about a kid eating a packet of crisps on the way to school 🤦🏻

My son never eats breakfast in the morning, never has, he is offered a variety of different choices, cereal, toast, fruit etc, he always says no. On a few occasions I have taken his favourite crisps with us on the walk and convinced him to eat a few as I hate the thought of him not eating till 12/1 o’clock, he never really eats more than a couple as he just doesn’t like to eat in the mornings, he’s fine by the afternoon. It’s pathetic that someone would judge us as we are walking along and you must have a very sad life.

BlingLoving · 14/01/2022 10:00

A combination of some additional needs and frankly, some poor parenting, meant that Ds was quite overweight. We worked hard to fix it, as did he.. So when I see children on the school run drinking a hot chocolate and eating a chocolate croissant, and can see they're overweight, I feel sad.

But... I am a highly educated person, with decent finances, a good cook etc etc. And yet I still landed up with a son who wasn't eating as well as he should and who was very overweight. So I can't judge anyone else, especially anyone who might not have the same advantages I have.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 14/01/2022 10:02

Concentrate on your own life, OP. You'll be much happier for it.

GreetingsAndSalutations · 14/01/2022 10:07

Assuming I even noticed the kid eating crisps on the school run (probably wouldn’t unless I was hungry and fancied some crisps myself), I would assume it had been one of those mornings and felt solidarity. And believe me, some of us have “one of those mornings” frequently.

You’re overreacting massively, OP.

TallyHoMyLittlePeachMuffin · 14/01/2022 10:46

It's only shitty parenting if they refused to give them something better. If it's the only thing they have in then they won't have a choice
In some of the schools near me they'd just be glad they had eaten something before school

MrsTrumpton · 14/01/2022 10:49

Judgy much? Chances are the kid has packed lunch and chose to eat the crisps on their way to school. It’s what kids do.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/01/2022 11:30

No wonder why soooo many kids are fat I England when so many people think a packet of crisps is fine for breakfast…! Blows my mind.

Crisps for breakfast is shit. There’s no other argument.

Mind your own business- yes that’s how so many kids have been killed recently by parents/adults.

Justananimalcrossing · 14/01/2022 11:56

Judgy, sneery post. I'm glad you're not my neighbour. Just remember to make sure you're perfect before every inflicting judgement on anyone else.

Pugroll · 14/01/2022 12:05

No wonder why soooo many kids are fat I England when so many people think a packet of crisps is fine for breakfast…! Blows my mind

Yes it does become more evident why we are one of the fattest nations on the planet. The sad thing is regarding children is that they don't know any better or can't access better foods themselves and being overweight is thrust upon them. Sad.

ArbleMarchTFruitbat · 14/01/2022 12:29

@Pugroll

No wonder why soooo many kids are fat I England when so many people think a packet of crisps is fine for breakfast…! Blows my mind

Yes it does become more evident why we are one of the fattest nations on the planet. The sad thing is regarding children is that they don't know any better or can't access better foods themselves and being overweight is thrust upon them. Sad.

I don't think anyone has said a packet of crisps is a good choice for breakfast.

What people are saying is that they don't know the circumstances of the child the OP saw.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 14/01/2022 12:44

People here arent saying a packet of crisps is a great breakfasts.

People are calling the OP out for being dramatically 'upset' about the situation, for being judgemental and for failing to consider any number of circumstances that led to crisps being breakfast.