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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect my child to make progress in reception?

142 replies

LovelyMoans · 12/01/2022 19:12

Even if they started the year already where they need to be by the end of it, in reading?

The attitude from school seems to be that because DC has reached the required level for reception, they should just sit at it all year while others catch up.

It's implied I'm pushy for questioning this because "DC is doing well, why are you concerned".

Doesn't every child deserve to make progress from wherever they started the year?

Particular keen to hear views from teachers as to what I'm missing as I feel I'm going a bit mad.

OP posts:
Getyourjinglebellsinarow · 13/01/2022 14:05

It's reception. Do kids really need to learn as much as possible as fast as possible? A bit of coasting is healthy isn't it? You can get books for her yourself.

ButterflyBitch · 13/01/2022 14:07

@LovelyMoans

Lego I did actually offer personally to the governors to fund new reading books.... and was turned down.... I kid you not
I’m completely wtf at this. I work in a school and we’d have bitten your hand off. Bonkers that they said no.
eagerlywaitingfor · 13/01/2022 14:37

Reception was beyond useless for my dd. She learned sod all. The work seemed to concentrate around colours, red, green, yellow and blue, the shapes square, circle, triangle and rectangle, and counting up to 5. She could already do all that by the time she was three, and was absolutely bored rigid. They didn't even show her how to hold a pencil properly, let alone to write letters or numbers. One day the teacher took me to one side and said she was concerned because she'd held up a yellow bean bag and asked dd what colour it was, and dd didn't answer. So I spoke to dd later and she said that she didn't know why they kept asking her the same things over and over, and she was worried she was always getting it wrong.

I took her out after one term and sent her to a private nursery instead. As soon as we got there, the woman asked her some colours: orange and grey, and dd got it right immediately. She then asked her to write her name. She did, for the first time ever. Reception had never even asked her to try.

teatime9999 · 13/01/2022 14:39

Former primary teacher here. 30 kids in a classroom is a lot, if that's the case for your child. Teachers are probably just completely overwhelmed and hanging by a thread, getting some of the kids to grasp the basics. Add behavioural issues to that, and properly supporting a child who is doing "fine" is probably not first priority.
That being said, all children should be stretched, so go ahead and be THAT parent. I certainly would.

LovelyMoans · 13/01/2022 14:46

It also cracks me up that literally everyone on here assumes that a 5 year old reader has to be a girl....

No.....boy....

OP posts:
AshLane · 13/01/2022 14:55

@LovelyMoans

Ashland thanks for that but that guidance looks to be on the basis that a child only knows what they are taught in school, I.e. the implication is they should be given decodable books matching what they are doing in class because they won't have the knowledge to do more so it won't give them a sense of achievement.

I can't see where it says what to do with a more able child who is working ahead of the level being covered in class, and how to ensure that child is offered the opportunity to be challenged and make progress?

@LovelyMoans - you need to talk to your DC's school about your child's ability. Share your information about what he can do phonetically and listen to what his teacher is telling you. Are their any gaps that need to be covered for instance.

Ask if phonics teaching and learning is differentiated for those more able?
Work with the school to support your child.

Technosaurus · 13/01/2022 16:46

I got moved up a year at school from a very early age and was top in that class too, in my opinion I should have been moved up again for more of a challenge.

Asked my Dad once, his response to my precocious nonsense was "because it would be rubbish playing football with people 2 years older, wouldn't it?"

And he was right. Even if my DS was the smartest cookie on the planet, it's up to me to foster and nurture that at home with appropriate material, while school focusses on the non-metric stuff as others have said above: confidence, courage, kindness, dealing with others. Being top of the class is one thing and a nice to have, but being good with others will get you further in life imho

JanuaryBluehoo · 13/01/2022 17:49

I am baffled by this approach to reading, now books can't go out until certain sounds taught!!

How did the people who created this learn to read because in my experience once you get it your away.
One day when I was three, the book my mum read to me suddenly made sense.
Michael moropogo also speaks of the words suddenly making sense, the letters.

I was away then with no one holding me back and a house full of books from siblings.

Dd1 did learn via phonics but once she got it.. There was no need for the phonics books because she got it.
Dd2 did not learn via phonics and learned when I went back to old school basics. She now doesn't need or pay attention to phonics because she can read... The entire point of phonics surely is to teach reading???

JanuaryBluehoo · 13/01/2022 17:52

This is is tea time.

30 dc and many will have sen but no support, some behavior issues, others struggling with phonics.

I'm afraid phonics obsessions with no other way to learn is going to cut dc like mine out of reading unless they are lucky enough to have parental help.

readwhatiactuallysay · 13/01/2022 18:10

I ask our reception DS to ask the school to send another book home, as he reads it once and knows it, yes repetition is good, but he like to read his "school book" everynight and they are below his capability and it takes them a week and a half to swap it, so very slow off the mark.

I will be raising it at the next parents evening??

Have you requested a formal meeting or is this a chat at the gates ?

Legoisthebest · 13/01/2022 20:43

eagerly that doesn't sound like any Reception curriculum that I know of. They certainly don't just teach colours and shapes. Was it in a state primary school? Sounds very odd. Did you report the school to the local authority or Ofsted to say they weren't following the Early Years national curriculum and just teaching colours and shapes...or did you actually give it more than a couple of weeks there Hmm

LittleBearPad · 13/01/2022 20:44

School is not the only opportunity to learn. If the books coming home from school aren’t sufficient then get other ones - buy them, go to the library etc.

Book bands are not the be all and end all.

Aussiegirl88 · 13/01/2022 21:48

You come across as quite aggressive, perhaps that may be the problem when communicating with the school and teachers
Maybe just take a step back and put the attitude aside and schedule a meeting with them in a non confrontational way, all the questions and point you've brought to mumsnettalk to them about.

VitalsStable · 13/01/2022 21:58

She's in reception, it's about playing and developing social skills. Have a cup of tea and a biscuit and take a breath, let your child lead you by getting books from the library and reading together for fun. Ask her questions to make sure that not only can she read the text but she is also comprehending it. So many parents get upset about how their child is progressing, in their opinion, but if your child is not showing the same amount of progression at school there's not a whole lot the school can do about it. It's all well and good saying a teacher should get the same results from your child as you do but realistically in a class of 30 kids this won't happen and it's not the teachers fault, if your child is easily reading to a certain level they should be doing it all the time and shouldn't need the teacher to be able to coax it from them.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/01/2022 07:22

@VitalsStable

Cupa tea and biscuit is pretty patronising.

For many kids reception is about playing and social skills but for some kids it needs to be more than that, and they shouldn’t be ignored.

I bet the kids that need extra support with poor behaviour aren’t being left to it

LetItGoToRuin · 14/01/2022 12:34

I have a great deal of sympathy for you, @LovelyMoans. My DC was also ahead with reading when she started Reception. Fortunately for us, her teacher was quite old-school and flexible, and very experienced, so she didn’t restrict reading levels, and DD went beyond Lime into KS2 books by May of Reception. However, this was six years ago, and the school has since been criticised by Ofsted for the way they teach and support reading, so whilst my DC benefited from this approach, it probably wasn’t the best way for all.

Although I read up on phonics at home and we encouraged DD to decode phonetically, it was clear to us and the teacher that she was one of those children that just ‘got’ reading. For example, if she knew how to pronounce ‘accident’, when she first saw ‘accelerate’ she would just automatically apply the correct sound for the start of the word. She also produced correct spellings for more challenging words in her written work in Reception, such as ‘design’. She has just always had a quite intuitive understanding of written and spoken language.

However, this doesn’t mean she didn’t benefit from the phonics teaching in Reception. It was fun, and it consolidated what she had already been taught by us or had worked out for herself. There wasn’t any need for us to request extra attention, as her experienced teacher simply found opportunities to pitch the occasional question at my DD’s level, and to challenge her with targeted guidance now and then. Looking back (DD is now in Y6) I realise how lucky we were.

It sounds like you’re less fortunate with your DS’s current teacher, but to be honest, I think you will just have to make the best of it for now. Some years will be better. Play the long game. If your DS is happy and engaged at school, that’s the main thing. He will be learning, he will be growing up. With a class of 30, it’s not reasonable to expect the teacher to test your DS frequently to work out which exact phonics he knows, to determine which level books he is ‘allowed’ to read. Just let it go, do your own thing at home as you have been doing, and remain positive with your DS about what he’s learning at school and the books he brings home.

Some children need a lot more support, and the Covid pandemic has made that more evident. In my view it’s better that the teacher spends a bit more time with those that really are struggling. As long as my DD gets a few nuggets of enrichment now and again, and the curriculum is well covered, I don’t feel it’s reasonable for me to expect much more for my ‘outlier’.

I know I sound a bit downtrodden. My DD is now in Y6, and I’ve got used to the system. I’ve worried on many occasions that my DD isn’t being stretched enough. However, I’ve learned to enjoy those times where a teacher really ‘gets’ my child, and on the other hand to support her when the work is boring or the teacher is ‘unfair’. I try to help her to understand as she gets older that teachers are not all perfect in every way but neither is any person, and they still have a lot to offer.

Somethingsnappy · 14/01/2022 18:50

@LovelyMoans

It also cracks me up that literally everyone on here assumes that a 5 year old reader has to be a girl....

No.....boy....

Very far from 'literally everyone on here'. Confused
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