Menopause

[Poptart4]

There have been alot of stories in the press about celebrities going through menopause. The latest being Lisa Snowden. See Daily fail.

At this point I will hold my hands up and say I now very little about menopause even though I'm a women in her late 30's. But these horror stories are really scaring me. Does every women going through the menopause go through hell? Is this what I have to look forward to? And do these symptoms (memory loss, depression, rages, sweats... God knows what else) eventually stop?

I can't believe no one has ever talked to me about menopause before. It wasn't even mentioned in school.

It is pretty crap. You feel as though you're turning into a ragey old person. I suppose hrt deals with most of the difficulties. I can't get it so I'm just getting on with it.

Bear in mind that GPs have very little training on menopause - it’s not a compulsory element of the curriculum

@PollyIndia

I'm 46 - not experiencing symptoms yet. I have a question though about HRT and bone health. Is the recommendation to go on it even if you feel ok, for future health? I do a lot of reformer Pilates and dynamic yoga (think handstands etc), so I was hoping that was good enough for bone density... Of course I'll do my own research but this thread is really interesting, so thought I'd also ask here :)

No it's not. If you have early menopause as I have, then it's recommended to maintain heart and bone health - but then to stop it at the 'normal' menopause age.

It might be the right choice for some women but certainly not all, I feel like sometimes the pendulum has swung a bit far from women being unnecessarily afraid of hrt to thinking it's the be all and end all.
I'm also on additional medication for bone health, some of us need both, some can do with one, many more will be fine with a good diet and weight bearing exercise.

@CounsellorTroi

I don’t think HRT is the be and end all in preventing osteoporosis. Maintaining a healthy weight (not too thin) healthy diet and strength building exercise is just as important.

I’m not on HRT because of my underactive thyroid. Oestrogen counteracts thyroid hormone, This is not a problem if you’re not hypothyroid, but it is if you are..

@SunshineCake1, in addition to CounsellorTroi's comments, it's also important to make sure you're getting enough vitamin D, calcium, magnesium and vitamin K2 - they're all essential for strong bones.

Vitamin D - it's difficult to have optimal levels of this in the UK (we don't get enough strong sunshine) so unless you're already supplementing, ask your GP for a blood test to check your current level.
www.vitamindsociety.org/

Calcium and magnesium - it's possible to meet your requirements via a good diet.
www.bda.uk.com/resource/calcium.html
www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/magnesium/

Vitamin K2 - this is really important to direct calcium towards your bones and not your arteries. It might be possible to get enough through your diet but can also be supplemented.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4566462/

I'm not able to take HRT due to a history of blood clots and have been recently diagnosed with osteopenia so I have to do my best to avoid osteoporosis.

I’m pretty sure I’m Peri. I’m 40 and for the last 2 years have been dealing with night sweats, rage, anxiety (ended up having CBT due to the anxiety/depression) and bowel issues. As others have said it’s only when you sit back and look at the different things that suddenly the puzzle starts falling into place.

I spoke to the “menopause GP” at our practice, to be fair she didn’t fob me off and tell me I was too young. She ordered blood tests and stool sample tests (for the bowel issues) to rule out anything sinister. They came back all clear and from what I’ve read the blood tests are pretty useless unless they’re done on a regular basis to monitor fluctuations.

I’m on the Pill as I have PCOS so she’s recommended that I switch to the Mirena coil, though there’s a waiting list to have it done at our surgery at the moment.

I’ve found chatting on MN and with friends helpful, on one thread someone recommended upping Vit D intake which I have done and I definitely feel that the rages are far fewer.

The GP has advised me to monitor my symptoms and if I feel they’re getting too much to come back and we can start talking about HRT.

There is a podcast worth listening to called “The Dr Louise Newson Podcast”, she’s a menopause expert. One of the most recent episodes, which I haven’t got round to listening to yet, is called “Recognising and getting help for your perimenopause”.

You can also download the “Balance Menopause Support” app (designed by Dr Newson) which helps you track your symptoms and builds a picture of what is going on.

Not everyone but most people change.
I totally turned into a warrior woman during my menopause, I got rid of my useless husband - he didn't know what hit him.
I moved cross country, got rid of the job I hated, found a great new job and a new life.
I feel fantastic. Finally I feel like the woman i always wanted to be.

@BlondeDogLady

How do you know you are Peri? I am 52 and don't have any symptoms yet. I'm waiting for something to happen?

I'm 51 and have regular periods. But, have you truly not had absolutely any bladder sensitivity, vaginal discomfort, dry eye, impatience/irritation, sleeplessness, heat/flushes, rage, hair thinning, intolerance...? The symptoms do start gradually. It's easy to miss some at the beginning.

Oh another symptom I had, which I didn’t know was a symptom until I casually mentioned it - itchy ears. God they’ve been driving me insane, I have to get a cotton bud and go to town on them 2 or 3 times a day! It’s the mucous membranes drying out (similar to the vaginal dryness).

When I found it it was “a symptom” I mentioned it on a menopause thread here on MN and was hit with a chorus of “Oh god I get that too!” from women who, like me, didn’t realise that it was yet another piece of the Peri puzzle!

@CaveMum

Oh another symptom I had, which I didn’t know was a symptom until I casually mentioned it - itchy ears. God they’ve been driving me insane, I have to get a cotton bud and go to town on them 2 or 3 times a day! It’s the mucous membranes drying out (similar to the vaginal dryness).

When I found it it was “a symptom” I mentioned it on a menopause thread here on MN and was hit with a chorus of “Oh god I get that too!” from women who, like me, didn’t realise that it was yet another piece of the Peri puzzle!

It's so weird isn't it? And this is why it's so Important women talk about their experiences- both good and bad.

Before I went to the doctor I pretty much was thinking about more physical symptoms and mood swings. It wasn't until I started reading much more about it I realised I've been peri for a while and the insomnia, itchy skin etc were all signs. As was the anxiety. All things I wrote off to other things. Stress etc.

Am glad threads like this exist. Not everyone suffers with peri/menopause but reading other womens issues will hopefully normalise it and encourage these who are suffering to go to the doctors and will also help people realise it's not just the stereotypical hot flushes/mood swings/erratic periods that are symptoms.

@FocacciaFingerer

I'm going through it now Haven't had a period for a year, horrendous night sweats which I'm on meds for (can't remember the name but not HRT, tried that, it really didn't like me, felt like I was being poisoned) memory loss, waves of feeling very very low, lack of confidence. I could literally stab my DH at times, just for the sound of him breathing, the waves of rage are unreal I've lost my identity and my sense of self, I'm not living I'm just existing at the moment I've given up work for a while as I'm just about functioning with domestic/everyday tasks let alone work ones where I have to be on the ball I'd rather have a really really bad illness for a month to get it out of the way and move on but instead I'm saddled with this shit for god knows how long The more women that talk about it the better imho

God I could have written this

Thanks @RubyTrees. My vitamin D is fine after some GP prescribed ones and I am continuing on with some OTC Vitamin D. I was taking magnesium but had to stop as was duplicating with some other vitamins I take but I will go back to them.

I run several times a week and walk the dog at least once a day and mostly twice. I am losing weight. Don't have a lot of dairy though.

@Shehasadiamondinthesky that is really interesting. If it wasn't for osteoporosis and other physical complications of menopause I think it could be a gift. The hormones that makes us the caring ones, the ones that compromise are on the wane and we could become more like you. The problem for many as described here is the symptoms are hugely problematic. I am not on hrt but am thinking about it for bone reasons - history of osteoporosis in family.

@SunshineCake1, my diet used to be mostly vegan but now I drink lactose-free milk (I think it tastes better than regular milk) and eat lower-salt cheese like mozzarella because too much salt depletes calcium. I also have kefir yogurt which has K2 and is higher in calcium per 100g than milk.

I have IBS and eating tofu and too many vegetables gives me a lot of pain. Although I do have lots of almonds, brazil nuts etc, I think I'd struggle to get 1,200mg of calcium per day without dairy.

You never know what you will go through until you get there so don't let the stories be fear inducing for you.
One of my friends and my MIL take every opportunity to talk menopause which can be a bit much. I know I have it to come and it will not be a walk in the park but I will deal with it like I do any change, hopefully privately.

I'm glad it's talked about more now. A lot of women seem clueless about the various effects of the menopause, including the long-term 'silent' ones like osteoporosis or heart disease. And vaginal atrophy is barely mentioned, just the euphemistic 'dryness', when dryness is just the start.

OP, there are lots of resources available, so you can inform yourself. Not every women gets every (or any) symptoms, if course.

@SunshineCake1

Everyone should also know that when you stop taking HRT all the symptoms can come back and you then have a second menopause. I read some case studies last week and it didn't make pleasant reading.

It's not a second menopause. You can only have one. If you stop taking HRT, which has been helping with your symptoms, you may or may not still have those symptoms. There's no need to stop taking it for age

My wording was wrong but the results are the same. You can have everything come back. It's something to think about.

Had a rather bad menopause, and so very grateful I am through it. I actaully feel better emotionally and physically then I did before perimenopause. Less emotional, no periods, calmer, and sleeping better.

[quote Jewel1968]@Shehasadiamondinthesky that is really interesting. If it wasn't for osteoporosis and other physical complications of menopause I think it could be a gift. The hormones that makes us the caring ones, the ones that compromise are on the wane and we could become more like you. The problem for many as described here is the symptoms are hugely problematic. I am not on hrt but am thinking about it for bone reasons - history of osteoporosis in family.[/quote]
I agree that menopause can be a real gift. Meno has made me much more assertive and happier. I feel like that independent-minded young woman again and am not filling my life with self-sacrifice for those that do not appreciate it. But I don’t have problematic symptoms either.

@SunshineCake1

My wording was wrong but the results are the same. You can have everything come back. It's something to think about.

My understanding from what I've reached (which may be wrong) is if you stop hrt and your menopause symptoms appear again, its because your body is still going through the menopause.

@SunshineCake1

My wording was wrong but the results are the same. You can have everything come back. It's something to think about.

It doesn't come back, it's just you no longer taking the remedy for your symptoms. If you'd never taken HRT, you'd still have had the same symptoms at the same age.

I don't plan to come off it.

"It doesn't come back, it's just you no longer taking the remedy for your symptoms. If you'd never taken HRT, you'd still have had the same symptoms at the same age.

I don't plan to come off it."

This. It explains it better than I did

The case studies I read the women were in their 70s. menopause at seventies is hard to believe.

@SunshineCake1

The case studies I read the women were in their 70s. menopause at seventies is hard to believe.

Women can have menopause symptoms into their 80s and 90s!

Glad it’s being discussed more and that NICE now are recommending HRT and more and more GPs are aware of this. For those who have sailed through that is fine - but HRT also protects against hidden things like osteoporosis and dementia and heart disease. Worth reading up about even if you don’t have to take it to alleviate symptoms.