Menopause

[Poptart4]

There have been alot of stories in the press about celebrities going through menopause. The latest being Lisa Snowden. See Daily fail.

At this point I will hold my hands up and say I now very little about menopause even though I'm a women in her late 30's. But these horror stories are really scaring me. Does every women going through the menopause go through hell? Is this what I have to look forward to? And do these symptoms (memory loss, depression, rages, sweats... God knows what else) eventually stop?

I can't believe no one has ever talked to me about menopause before. It wasn't even mentioned in school.

I'm nearly 41 and have no symptoms yet but I guess it's early days.

@Vintagecreamandcottagepie

I'm 43 and bloody grateful to all women, celebs and non celebs, who speak up about their experiences.

Droning on? Hysterical will be bandied about next.... just jog on if not interested 🙄

Same here.

I am 41 and probably been suffering for over 2 years to be poo pood off with various other diagnosis especially depression. I have a chronic bladder condition which after researching could be caused by low oestrogen.

I have all the physical symptoms night sweats hot flushes itching insomnia, bloating middle weight gain, heavy periods all over the place.

Most of those i deal with. What i cannot deal with is the mental symptoms rage anger crippling anxiety, panic attacks. Forgetfulness lack of interest and motivation, constant tearfulness. Absolutely nothing like me a few years ago

I have 2 young children so how horrendous is this for them as well. I have been referred to a specialist GP at my surgery and had two blood tests but due to covid been left swinging in the wind.

I have never felt so miserable in my whole life. Its indescribable to people and especially my husband what it feels like.

It's even more upsetting knowing its not you!
Why should I have to shut up and put up because i am a woman and fight tooth and nail for help l. Yet if men can't get an erection 🤔

@Kaykay247

Peri at 39. Completed menopause at 40. No problems, no hrt. Sorry!!

Why sorry? Sounds great, but you'll be a very long time without the protective benefits of oestrogen, so it may be good to to read up on HRT for that reason. That's the main reason I take it.

@halfsiesonapotnoodle I’m wondering if this is something I need to look up too. I thought I’d escaped needing hrt to deal with symptoms but hadn’t considered the effects of early menopause.

41 and I'm on hrt for peri symptoms.

They were:
Total lack of energy, lethargic.
Running hot all the time - not just flushes, needing to wear shorts and vest tops all the time as I felt like I was boiling.
Migraines.
Period became super light and short
Hair stopped growing
Not sleeping or being able to goo to sleep
Snoring

HRT patches has really helped and all symptoms have disappeared. Found out my mum was finished menopause by mid 40s and she had severe bone issues from mid 50s

And it has really help my amorous side

@Kaykay247

Peri at 39. Completed menopause at 40. No problems, no hrt. Sorry!!

Are you not worried about bone issues?

Mine is horrific. It started 8 years ago and is going on and on, not helped by medication I'm on for cancer.
I cant take HRT because of these medications.
I feel like I'm 80 years old and I'm only mid 50's.
My recent dexa scan shows that my bones have thinned considerably since my last one 4 years ago.

Everyone should also know that when you stop taking HRT all the symptoms can come back and you then have a second menopause. I read some case studies last week and it didn't make pleasant reading.

Peri for me resulted in chronic insomnia, horrific anxiety, depression, greater difficulty in controlling appetite and weight and an attendant loss of confidence resulting in me leaving work. This year, although I was still having regular periods I have started on patches and things have quietened down which is a blessing for all of us.

Latest research says there’s no reason you can’t stay on HRT until you die and they will have to prise move from my cold dead hands

Mine

It's been he'll for me. I really wished I'd known that what I was experiencing that was absolutely horrendous were panic attacks caused by perimenopause and not some horrible disease killing me.

I thought stress was causing my symptoms, and ended up leaving a very well paid job for one with reduce pay and no protection to realise that I was feeling just as bad.

It got better after 5 years and I found my feet again except for the ongoing constant chronic fatigue, but I would have made different decisions had I known that the menopause wasn't just about hit flushes, rage and depression, none of these being my main symptoms.

Peri & menopause aren’t spoken about nearly enough &, if they are mentioned, it’s with a laugh & a joke about hot flushes.

If you watch day time TV, you hardly stop hearing about it.

OP, do you work with many women late 40, early 50’s? Do they go on about memory loss, depression, rages and sweats? Do they appear to be experiencing these things. If not, they are either very stoic, or maybe not suffering to any great extent. Many women of the relevant age are at the top of their game professionally, so hopefully not suffering too badly. Sure, there are some who will be some who are badly affected. Hopefully, you won’t be one of them but HRT is available if you are.

Personally, my only symptoms were some erratic periods before they stopped altogether, and some hot flushes.

I'm nearly 41 and have no symptoms yet but I guess it's early days

It really is very early days! I believe the average age of menopause is 51, so that would make 10 years of symptoms! Conversely, talking to a colleague who went through an early menopause at 39 (and this was 30 years ago when it wasn’t talked about much) she said, ‘one month I had a period and the next month I didn’t and that was it.’

I don’t want to take away from the women who have suffered badly, but want to reassure OP that it is not necessarily anything to dread either.

I thought I was doing ok, some minor issues, and then I had 12 consecutive days of migraines in December and started to have heart attack like symptoms which could be due to all the triptans I took during that time. I rang GP for an appointment, receptionist said I book you with our "lady" doctor (there are barely any male doctors at the surgery, so I'm sure she meant women's issue specialist), and she offered me HRT straight away and talked me through all the various options.
I've started patches three weeks ago and I can already tell the difference. I had one migraine since then, that went away with just one dose of Zomig, no palpitations anymore, and I wake up at 6 am rather than at 3 am.

@Aprilx

Does every woman going through menopause go through hell?

No, but I have noticed on mumsnet that if you dare to say your own experience has not been hell you will be roundly told off and rebuked for minimising other peoples experiences (even though you haven’t).

I've only seen that response when the poster does indeed minimise another's experience.

If another woman doesn't struggle with symptoms but has empathy and compassion towards others who feel different, I'm pleased for them.

MN isn't a hive mind you know.

@lollipoprainbow

And if people were discussing their experiences of dementia would you accuse them of ‘droning on’ about it? You should reflect on why you would be so patronisingly dismissive of women talking about their common experiences of menopause. Internalised misogyny is a good place to start.

No actually I wouldn't I would join in the discussion. Your comment to me about my 'mummy' was very patronising so maybe you need to do some reflecting.

You come onto a thread the topic of which doesn't interest you and judge and look down on others.

Poster challenges you strongly on this.

And they are patronising?

I'm going through it now
Haven't had a period for a year, horrendous night sweats which I'm on meds for (can't remember the name but not HRT, tried that, it really didn't like me, felt like I was being poisoned) memory loss, waves of feeling very very low, lack of confidence.
I could literally stab my DH at times, just for the sound of him breathing, the waves of rage are unreal
I've lost my identity and my sense of self, I'm not living I'm just existing at the moment
I've given up work for a while as I'm just about functioning with domestic/everyday tasks let alone work ones where I have to be on the ball
I'd rather have a really really bad illness for a month to get it out of the way and move on but instead I'm saddled with this shit for god knows how long
The more women that talk about it the better imho

I'm 46 - not experiencing symptoms yet. I have a question though about HRT and bone health. Is the recommendation to go on it even if you feel ok, for future health?
I do a lot of reformer Pilates and dynamic yoga (think handstands etc), so I was hoping that was good enough for bone density...
Of course I'll do my own research but this thread is really interesting, so thought I'd also ask here :)

How do you know you are Peri? I am 52 and don't have any symptoms yet. I'm waiting for something to happen?

I'm concerned about osteoporosis as I can't take HRT.

I don’t think HRT is the be and end all in preventing osteoporosis. Maintaining a healthy weight (not too thin) healthy diet and strength building exercise is just as important.

I’m not on HRT because of my underactive thyroid. Oestrogen counteracts thyroid hormone, This is not a problem if you’re not hypothyroid, but it is if you are..

How do you know you are Peri? I am 52 and don't have any symptoms yet. I'm waiting for something to happen?

Some women go through menopause quite late; alternatively you may wake up one day and not being able to remember when you had your last period!

I'm 46 - not experiencing symptoms yet. I have a question though about HRT and bone health. Is the recommendation to go on it even if you feel ok, for future health?

I don’t think it is. It’s certainly never been mentioned to me when I’ve been at the doctors.