AIBU-Sick of the narrative that young people can’t buy homes?

[Henryhoover12]

I had a heated discussion with some friends who said it’s “impossible for young people to get on the property ladder these days”.If they do their parents either lent them the money, gifted them the money or they lived at home rent free to save up. It’s not just my friends a lot of people of this age go on about it.

As a young person myself I’m bloody sick of this narrative, anything can be done if your willing to make sacrifices and prioritise for your goals which most young people aren’t. I purchased my own 4 bedroom home at 22 (few months ago) WITHOUT any help from family and whilst paying rent on a flat WITHOUT help from my family to pay for.

I called out all my friends who are blaming how it’s going on their ability to stop online shopping for new outfits every event, going out for cocktails, getting hair/nails/tan done weekly, Taking flashy cars out on finance, etc. that if they stopped then they to could buy but I got told I was being extremely unreasonable and that it’s impossible, well is it or do they not just like to hear the truth.

@Henryhoover12

www.bps.org.uk/sites/www.bps.org.uk/files/Policy/Policy%20-%20Files/Briefing%20Paper%20-%20Adverse%20Childhood%20Experiences.pdf

Some light reading for you OP.

Personally I'm in the 4+ ACEs group. I worked so hard for my GCSEs and came out in the top 10 achievers in my school year. Despite working 15 hours a week from age 14, being a young carer, living in severely overcrowded, severely mouldy accommodation and experiencing more than one type of abuse both within the home and outside of the home.

I never got to do ALevels and go to uni at 18 because I had to leave and support myself. Through hard work (and I imagine harder work than you could possibly imagine), I did an access course and got myself to university and excelled in my career. Working and supporting myself financially throughout.

Unfortunately the influence of those ACEs on my life didn't just disappear.

I'm much older than you now. Despite all of my hard work, everything fell apart a few years ago. I have never bought a property. I am so grateful that the council helped me out a couple of years ago. Im now unemployed and on benefits (despite my hard work, talents and hard earned qualifications) ....and I now live in an inner city council flat. I'm receiving help from my community mental health team. I am so incredibly grateful for my council flat and my benefits. Hopefully I will get back to work again in the future. I do have a lot to offer when I am well.

Your post is extremely offensive and upsetting. It just demonstrates the amount of judgment and hatred that people without the same life chance's have to cope with every day. It's horrible. I've worked so hard, but I've failed.

I've also met so many people on my journey through life with similar stories to my own. It's not uncommon.

I 100% believe that you are only 22. I also completely agree with previous posters who have suggested that when life gets difficult for you, you might not be so smug.

I think you need to maybe try some voluntary work in a homeless hostel, a inner city school, a food bank or a hospital. Then re-read your opening post.

@parchedjanuary
A moving post. I'm sorry that things haven't gone well for you, and hope that the future brings better luck.

Yeah I call bullshit. You and your best friend are both on salaries of £45k ish a year out of uni in Wales?!
Salaries like that are pretty unusual for graduates let alone graduates not working in London.

So true!!^

Also @ OP - even if you are telling the truth, surely you know you’re an anomaly. Having such a high salary AND living in a cheap area is very rare. Your first post was was aimed at young people too not just your friend with very rare circumstances.

I mean even when you discard living in a cheap area, statistically the vast majority of graduates will still not be earning as much as you! Even prestigious graduate schemes which are extremely competitive are paying around 30k (and for graduates to even be on a high flying grad scheme is not the norm - there are more graduate jobs which pay even less)

Your posts are embarrassing to read, how out of touch with reality can you be.

You talk about working hard and how you never had financial support from your parents. You are also forgetting there is more than simply financial support which helps one become ‘successful’.

Not everyone has a safe home to grow up in, and many young people with disabilities or other health conditions find it harder to find work even when they’re qualified for a job etc etc. I imagine you’d probably want to respond to this and say “but that’s not the norm of young people” but then your whole argument is using a VERY niche example of yourself who earns much higher than the average fresh graduate and also happens to live in a cheap area 🤷‍♀️

@Henryhoover12

1) how did I manage to save- well not spend it not sure how else to explain that one? When everyone else is splashing out on the latest designer gear I just didn’t. 2)for the millionth time I have purchased in wales so yes it’s cheaper then wales. 3)I don’t get what sharing my private details will help with this but my house was £200k. So no it wasn’t £50k but not sure why that would be bad anyway? I won’t say my salary because I don’t feel comfortable but I’m sure you can do the math. 4)I say “young people” because it’s a hot topic around a lot of people my age, we were having this discussion with a big group of young people lots of people on both sides of the fence. I keep mentioned my friend as she was the one that kicked off but she’s in the exact same position as me so I thought good comparison. 5) yes I know wales is cheaper but then that’s also a sacrifice surely? Wouldn’t we all want to live in the Center of London but that’s not an option. 6) I didn’t work for 1 year I worked for 7 since I was 16

Think that’s all the answers

Your number 5 would be funny if it wasn't so stupid.

You think that London is more expensive? Sure it is. It gets more and more expensive the further away you get from you, and nearer you get to London. Would you like to hazard a guess at how much a 4-bedroomed property would be in London?

Anyway, have fun sitting on your own in your house while all your friends are out enjoying themselves without you.

I don't know why but god I hate the word purchase, it makes people sound so wanky. I purchased a house. Aaah!

It doesn't add up. You worked part time as a teenager and a student, so that couldn't have brought in much income. Then you travelled after uni and immediately bought a £200k house?

I noticed molly mae also has about half a million on her wrists!!!

With 4 Cartier love bracelets plus more.

Silly really

I don't understand the narrative that most adults can't put their legs behind their head since I, as an adult, can.
I worked really hard to keep my flexibility and practice often along with spending plenty of time exercising and stretching. It just doesn't make sense to me that other adults don't spend their spare time practicing and training, yet complain when they can't do it. Ive skipped birthdays, weddings, my own graduation, the birth of my first child as I was too busy in the gym training.

It's not impossible but you have to acknowledge circumstances have to be just right.
Me and my husband bought a 3 bed in a decent area at 23+25 respectively. I was doing post grad studies and he was working a £25k job. House was £90k (cheap area). Paid £5k deposit that we saved while renting by working a ridiculous amount of hours while at uni.
For us fairly simple - if I was single and lived in a major city? Not a chance

By the age of 22 you have apparently achieved the following:
University
Part time job
Went travelling (during Covid no less)
Got a high paying job
Married by the age of 20
Rented a flat
Saved a deposit for a house whilst still renting
Bought £200,000 a few months ago (or possibly 2 years ago)

One thing you are definitely not is 22.

I know a lot of young people who buy, and good for you that you did. It obviously depends on what you earn and where you live. Affordable housing in more wealthier parts of the country is a problem, which is an issue because there are jobs there people can’t afford to do.

But the point honestly is until mid 20th century the average house was 3 times the average income. That still cut low earners out, but it was a lot more affordable which was good because people could move easily and invest their money in other things.

Housing prices in the are inflated by green belt and developers, it’s not good for t he economy at all.

So while you’ve done well, and yes chucking your money away in nail salons is daft, affordable housing would be better for the country as a whole, both in terms of economics and happiness.

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

I don't understand the narrative that most adults can't put their legs behind their head since I, as an adult, can. I worked really hard to keep my flexibility and practice often along with spending plenty of time exercising and stretching. It just doesn't make sense to me that other adults don't spend their spare time practicing and training, yet complain when they can't do it. Ive skipped birthdays, weddings, my own graduation, the birth of my first child as I was too busy in the gym training.

Of course YABU: anything can be done if your willing to make sacrifices and prioritise for your goals

Yeah, okaaaaay? Are you based on this planet?

@Maireas Thank you! Im grateful for everything I've learned and all the people I have met along the way.....actually I feel blessed! Life has been hard but I have wisdom and humility.... and I know deep down that I wouldn't trade that for a 4 bedroom house! I am resilient and with hard work Im sure I will rise again!

Went travelling (during Covid no less)

I didn’t even clock that @AmberLynn1536. Good spot.

Wales is NOT representative of the UK. Go and read the papers or do something else to expand your horizons beyond your own tiny viewpoint.

Good on you! It is harder for young people today than it has ever been before. But what you say is also true that they expect much more luxurious lifestyles than previous. I bought my first house at 24 but I'd also only had 1 foreign holiday by that time, didn't own a car or eat out, made sandwiches to take to work etc.

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

I don't understand the narrative that most adults can't put their legs behind their head since I, as an adult, can. I worked really hard to keep my flexibility and practice often along with spending plenty of time exercising and stretching. It just doesn't make sense to me that other adults don't spend their spare time practicing and training, yet complain when they can't do it. Ive skipped birthdays, weddings, my own graduation, the birth of my first child as I was too busy in the gym training.

You're a lesson to us all. I personally don't understand how people can't afford a BMW. I've got one. Mind you, I've never shopped at Zara like her feckless friend.

I think their is not a 100% yes and no answer to this and ofcourse everyone's circumstances is different, so i totally respect that.
But , i have saved up for my first house, worked bloody hard, worked as cleaner after my full time work and studies for years to save moved out of my parents at age 19, had to pay my own bills, didn't get a single penny from friends and family to help or buy my first house, had no inheritance and managed to buy a decent 2 bedroom mid terraced house with garden in zone 7 ( London) 8 years ago at the age 28 with a 30% deposit.

So how did i do it?
Now don't get me wrong, i was saving, had budget holidays only every other year maybe, both me and huby are not high erners but big savers. We didn't buy expensive gadgets, would buy second hand furniture and always bought clothes on sales in general, we payed £1000 a month rent to a landlord.
Didn't go to cinema, restaurants, pubs etc max 1x a month and haven't had a car, cycled to work and used the bus only if had to save.

My ex neighbour is a great example: they have 2 daughters one is 28 one is 26.
One bought a 2 bed flat with her partner a few years ago has a lower salary( education) and she always been good with money according to her dad.

The other girl still living at her parentsvwith her boyfriend, doesn't have savings, never been good with money and nowhere near to buy a flat. She does like shopping and partying, all according to her own dad.

So in a nutshell , it is very hard to buy your property , especially if you had no inheritance, help from parents but sometimes it is a bloody good excuse for those who never been good with money.

[quote parchedjanuary]@Maireas Thank you! Im grateful for everything I've learned and all the people I have met along the way.....actually I feel blessed! Life has been hard but I have wisdom and humility.... and I know deep down that I wouldn't trade that for a 4 bedroom house! I am resilient and with hard work Im sure I will rise again! [/quote]
You will! You've got the right attitude.
Enjoy life's little pleasures and value what you have. Best of luck x

@Cornettoninja

Went travelling (during Covid no less)

I didn’t even clock that @AmberLynn1536. Good spot.

How long before this thread is deleted for privacy reasons I wonder

Yeah, I do hope interest rates don't go through the roof and you don't lose your job and don't learn a very important lessons not to apply your own (very simplistic) situation to others.

I genuinely do....

All of these things happened to me. Now I give to homeless shelters and am very grateful for what I have.