Stepping aside

[SchoolRunEscapee]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable or a stickler for manners. Does anyone else get pissed off when they stand aside for someone on the pavement and the person doesn't acknowledge it?

Often when I stand aside for people these days it's almost as if they expect it and don't mumble thanks, smile or do the little head nod of appreciation. I would say 9 times out of 10 they walk past without any acknowledgement

I find it especially rude when it's two or more people walking together as ideally , you would imagine at least one has the manners to acknowledge it, but in fact, they are usually the worst offenders.

Am I being weird (I think I might be) or are people kind of rude?

I agree. I think 70% of people are generally pretty selfish nowadays!

I find this is the same for giving way whilst driving, holding the door for someone etc.
People are becoming increasingly entitled.

Yes I’ve noticed this when I step aside people never say thanks, I always say it the other way round but assume it isn’t the done thing really as no one else does .

Yup its rude. I usually say "you're welcome" as they go by

If somebody does this I say Thank you ! very loud

I might try that @winterfellismyhome however judging by the fact they don't seem to even see me, I'm guessing they won't hear me either in their little bubble!

I say thank you if the "stepping aside" is actually necessary, or for my benefit. Of course I do - I say thank you for any small kindness.

I do NOT say thank you if the "stepping aside" is completely unnecessary, passive-aggressive or weirdly exaggerated and accompanied by an impatient snarl, which it so often seems to be these days.

The entitled who walk three abreast taking up the entire pavement expecting you to step into the roadway so they can continue their conversation?
I stop dead and wait... make them walk round me.. and then continue walking without acknowledging them.
So fucking rude.

Promise no impatient snarls here, just stepping aside to not have to do an awkward side to side to side dance with someone who has also not stepped aside.

Hmm I wouldn’t shout anything after someone like “thank you!” Or “you’re welcome” I actually think that’s worse personally

Yes that's so rude @Bonbon21 I mean would it kill them to kind of fall in line to let people walk past.

I say thank you if the "stepping aside" is actually necessary, or for my benefit. Of course I do - I say thank you for any small kindness.

I do NOT say thank you if the "stepping aside" is completely unnecessary, passive-aggressive or weirdly exaggerated and accompanied by an impatient snarl, which it so often seems to be these days.

^^
I was going to say the same!

Also when blokes try to make you walk in front of them through a doorway or similar - no you walk in the more vulnerable position in front! I don’t mean friends or family, I mean strangers.

I'm autistic and I try very hard not to be rude, extra hard in comparison I think. However i also suffer from non verbal 'attacks' usually if I'm out and something goes wrong, I can get into a panic and maybe wouldn't say thank you in that instance be due my words have left me and my brain is spinning. It's hard to describe it in a way that is understandable but it's not as simple as just being able to say thank you. I assume a percentage of people that don't say thank you when you step aside are rude, but my own experience tells me that some of them simply can't (at that moment) - people have a lot going on, cut them some slack. Did you move over to be helpful or to be thanked? Focus on your good over their perceived 'bad'.

I was mid conversation with my DD once on the way back from school and it was a very serious conversation, I also had a toddler at my legs who I was trying to coax into walking a bit faster and I was pushing my baby in his pushchair. A man stepped aside for us and I was mid flow telling DD off I believe so I just totally forgot to thank him, I didn’t even really register his existence in all honesty. He did the sarcastic ‘you’re welcome’ thing at me as I passed so I apologised and thanked him but afterwards I felt a bit like ‘oh do fuck off’ because it was very obvious I had a lot on my plate at that point.

I very rarely get thanked when I let people pass but I don’t have the gall to be rude so I just shrug it off.

Im not stepping aside to be thanked as I said earlier, it's more to avoid the awkwardness of neither of us stepping aside. However I do think manners and being polite can make all the difference and might even brighten someone's day when they have alot on their mind as you mentioned.

I'm sure there are many circumstances where people are unable to say thank you, but I'm talking only 1 in 10 acknowledging it.

@sandgrown

If somebody does this I say Thank you ! very loud

I did that once to someone and they actually said “you’re welcome” to me! (They’d let a door slam in my face(

I used to feel like this, and do all of the passive aggressive "you're welcomes". But it's just ego. Ego, ego, ego. Stand aside or don't stand aside, but let that shit go.

Have never done a passive aggressive 'you're welcome' but just appreciate good manners where possible.

I’ve done the passive aggressive YOURE WELCOME I shouldn’t I know but YANBU!!!!

I cannot get worked up about it. I also don't need a thank you to brighten up my day. If I notice someone doing it (usually when I'm pushing a buggy) then I'd say it. But wouldn't care or notice if someone didn't do the same.

I always wave drivers "thank you" when they stop at a zebra crossing to allow me to cross. Always, apart from one time. I was really struggling that day, and honestly, it was all I could do just to walk home without crying. Anyway, I crossed at the zebra crossing, but I just kept focusing on the next step forward and telling myself everything was going to be ok. I didn't wave thank you. One of the drivers rolled their window down and said, "you're welcome, you ignorant c * * * ". Now, whenever anyone is rude or ignores me I try to remember that they may be having a terrible day and barely holding it together.

You know what, I've been pondering this today too. But while driving.

I live semi-rurally and had two incidents where male drivers should have technically given way to me on narrow roads/over-taking but carried on anyway. I acquiesced as otherwise we'd literally be bonnet to bonnet trying to get through narrow gaps which would have delayed me on the school run. However, it did lead to me wonder what assumptions they make that made them feel confident enough to think 'fuck it' and continue driving, while making me stop to give way. Do you think it's the same thought process - or lack of - as pedestrians'?

Yes, many people are very entitled and rude.
Once I went to the cinema with some friends and when leaving after the film, we held the (very heavy) door for a group of girls behind us, expecting them to hold the door for their group.

It seemed that they expected us to hold the door for all of them, they didn’t want to touch the door.

We eventually let go of the door and it hit them on their fronts. They have us very evil looks and said OUCH.

@elelel I was gonna say pretty much the same thing.

The amount of times I know I've been perceived as rude in a situation... and trust me I spend the whole rest of the day feeling bad about it.

I try to at least do the little head nod of acknowledgement, but it's actually very hard for me to verbally say "thank you" in those types of situations.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt because a lot of people suffer from social anxiety these days. And I'm sure those who don't suffer from it would argue that it's no excuse and it's not exactly hard to just say a quick thank you, but consider yourself lucky if you never find it hard.

It seemed that they expected us to hold the door for all of them, they didn’t want to touch the door.

Oh god I hate this! When you hold the door for the next person to take, and they try to just walk through. I’m not a flipping doorman.