Stepping aside

[SchoolRunEscapee]

Just wondering if I'm being unreasonable or a stickler for manners. Does anyone else get pissed off when they stand aside for someone on the pavement and the person doesn't acknowledge it?

Often when I stand aside for people these days it's almost as if they expect it and don't mumble thanks, smile or do the little head nod of appreciation. I would say 9 times out of 10 they walk past without any acknowledgement

I find it especially rude when it's two or more people walking together as ideally , you would imagine at least one has the manners to acknowledge it, but in fact, they are usually the worst offenders.

Am I being weird (I think I might be) or are people kind of rude?

Actually I do have some self esteem and anxiety issues and to be treated as if I am invisible, does kind of play into it. But that aside I do still believe where possible it is nice to show manners.

To the pp who said they would thank someone if they notice, why do you thank people then?
And even if it wouldn't brighten your day for someone to be polite to you, you can't think of any circumstances where someone might feel a bit better from being acknowledged by someone else?

You are right to expect to be thanked. I would thank you. Its called manners but sadly alot of people are lacking in manners today and social skills.

I also thank cars if they let me go and thank people if they hold doors etc.

Its good manners, guess it depends how you are raised though.

It winds me up when people don't say thank you, but most of the time I have the baby in the pushchair now and people are generally kind and step aside for me and I always say thank you

Not exactly the same thing but I was walking on the pavement and a man was walking towards me. It had been raining heavily and there were some large puddles on the ground. To avoid going through it I walked towards the narrowest point of the puddle. I arrived there first so kept going. The man only had to wait a beat for me to pass but I heard "Fucking XXXXX" as I walked on (couldn't hear the last word). I mean why? I arrived there first, didn't race or speed up. Was I meant to walk through the deep puddle?

That's the thing about manners though, for most people it's second nature, and they have the type of brain that has been successfully socialized to respond in the appropriate way without having to even think about it.

Some people aren't like that. Some people do have to think about it, and no matter how simple or obvious the appropriate response seems, we still have to give it conscious thought before giving the response. By that time, the window of opportunity to give the response has passed.

I'm not denying that some people are, in fact, rude and inconsiderate. I'm simply adding in that sometimes there's another side to the story.

@JamieFrasersBigSwingingKilt

You know what, I've been pondering this today too. But while driving.

I live semi-rurally and had two incidents where male drivers should have technically given way to me on narrow roads/over-taking but carried on anyway. I acquiesced as otherwise we'd literally be bonnet to bonnet trying to get through narrow gaps which would have delayed me on the school run. However, it did lead to me wonder what assumptions they make that made them feel confident enough to think 'fuck it' and continue driving, while making me stop to give way. Do you think it's the same thought process - or lack of - as pedestrians'?

Yes of course its male entitlement. Take some time to look into the concept of "patriarchy chicken". www.newstatesman.com/politics/2019/02/how-play-patriarchy-chicken-why-i-refuse-move-out-way-men