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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cake or death?

51 replies

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 12/01/2022 09:44

This isn't so much an AIBU as a WWYD but I really want to see the poll results.

So, I'm morbidly obsese and have been for many years. I finally got to the underlying condition, sleep apnea, and following treatment my weight started going down, Every week for 2 years it went down. I lost 5 stone and was not far off being out of the morbidly obeses zone.

Then something changed and I was eating all the time again. I just couldn't control it and my weight started going up again. I felt like utter shit. Towards the end of last year I realised the change coincided with me starting treatment for high blood pressure. Turns out blood pressure medicine can cause rapid weight gain. So I stopped taking it and quickly went back to losing weight again

But of course my blood pressure went up again. So a couple of weeks ago my doctor prescripted another medicine which apparantly doesn't cause that overwelming hunger feeling. Two weeks in and it's starting again. The 'hunger' is increasing and I'm finding it harder and harder to control what I eat.

So I'm in the position that I either take the cake (medicine) and my weight goes up. So I'll start to lose mobility again, and my mental health will fall apart. Or I stop taking it and risk death (heart attack, stroke) but hopefully this will lead to continued weight loss and eventually not having a problem with high blood pressure. My doctor is very much about dealing with the immediate problem, the high blood pressure, and doesn't seem particularly interested in the impact that has on my life.

So what would you do?

Cake (take the meds) - AIBU
Death (don't take the meds) - YANBU

OP posts:

LaBellina · 12/01/2022 09:46

I would take meds and look for other solutions to deal with the hunger that they cause. I’m sorry about your situation, it must feel like being stuck between a rock and a hard place

mrsbyers · 12/01/2022 09:47

Sorry but you need to take the meds and switch the uncontrollable eating to consuming low calorie snacks and not use it as a free for all to eat too much and blame meds for gains. I’ve had similar issues with meds over the year and had to take accountability for the weight.

Also sleep apnea is caused by being overweight surely not the other way around ?

DropYourSword · 12/01/2022 09:48

Thank you for flying Church of England!

TheKeatingFive · 12/01/2022 09:50

I know it's difficult at the minute, but can you look for a second opinion?

Prescribing the meds without thinking about your overall health seems very shortsighted to me.

Original poster

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 12/01/2022 09:50

@mrsbyers

Also sleep apnea is caused by being overweight surely not the other way around ?

I thought sleep apnea was caused by being overweight too and was surprised when my weight started dropping. My consultant said it's a myth and that there's a correlation not causation and that weight gain can be a symptom of sleep apnea as extreme tiredness is a trigger for overeating. The body drives you to find energy from somewhere.

OP posts:

girlmom21 · 12/01/2022 09:53

Take the meds and when you feel hungry drink a pint of water. If that doesn't stop the hunger eat some fruit/vegetables/water based foods. Then as your weight goes back down your blood pressure issue should lessen and you should be able to reduce the medication.

5128gap · 12/01/2022 09:53

I would take the meds and not eat beyond the appropriate level, putting up with the discomfort of hunger and food cravings. It would be incredibly difficult and I might not succeed, but I think (hope) my fear of severe illness/death would be the stronger drive. Can your health care providers offer anything more in terms of advice, support, or medication to manage appetite ( if it exists)?

FreshandLively · 12/01/2022 09:54

I'd try a different doctor. Surely your weight is also impacting on your belly pressure. As you know, GPs are too often all about treating the symptoms not the cause.

Hillarious · 12/01/2022 09:55

Check out these people and Graham's story - www.henryandhenryeu.com/grahamhenry

It's all about what you eat.

Mummy1608 · 12/01/2022 10:00

I would go back to your doctor and ask to be referred up to another specialist. There has surely got to be a better solution that what your gp has so far prescribed, surely. I'm sorry OP, I didn't know what to vote, there should be a "every option sucks, I'm so sorry" button

NewYearNewMinty · 12/01/2022 10:01

Have you tried CBT for the eating issues?

I'm wondering if it's a habitual thing based on previous experience rather than actual hunger iykwim?

In any case it sounds like you would benefit with some MH and wellbeing support whilst you try to get to the bottom of this.

SilverHairedCat · 12/01/2022 10:04

Take the meds, but either see a dietician (not a nutritionist!) or join Slimming World etc and look at how to eat well, with good portions and with a high satiety so you aren't going hungry at the same time.

I've worked with Sophie at City Dieticians before, she was brilliant. Maybe worth contacting someone like her to discuss how they can help?

Lovemusic33 · 12/01/2022 10:08

I think you need to take the meds and find ways to control the hunger or eat healthier snacks. For most people when they are hungry they will grab things that are quick and easy which tends to be unhealthy things. What I do is prepare a load of healthy snacks in the morning so when your hungry thy are there, things like boiled eggs, vegetable sticks and dips, cold chicken strips etc… rather than crisps, chocolate and sausage rolls 😬. Eat foods that are high in fibre. You might even find it’s better to have 4 small meals a day rather than 2/3 larger meals. I think prepping and planing is key and making sure you don’t have bad foods in the house. Also drinking a glass of water when you feel hungry may help.

I also find the busier I am the less I think about food, if your thinking about food maybe go for a short walk instead? Swimming is also a great form of light exercise.

Momniscient · 12/01/2022 10:11

@DropYourSword We're out of cake.

Butteryflakycrust83 · 12/01/2022 10:12

I would look for a second opinion OP. That medication isnt working for you.

If i had to choose between being fat or being dead? I pick fat every single time. You can work on your feelings around fatness, the self esteem, work on doing things because you love and appreciate your body at every stage, like swimming or eating a delicious dinner, not because you hate it.

That is 99% the problem with all diets and why they all fail.

Ponoka7 · 12/01/2022 10:49

Is it a GP or obesity clinic doctor? If GP would he consider refering you to a more specialised service?
I was obese, I rode the hunger out. Hunger isn't something to fear, it shows that what you are doing is working.
You need a proper plan to suit you. I'd never have gone swimming, exercise was painful, so I had to drop two stone first. I did it quickly using Exante. Then low carb calorie counting and added in exercise as my weight went down. My high blood pressure went down and I stopped being pre diabetic on Exante. Being morbidly obese and losing weight needs support, it isn't like having a stone to lose, your body is running completely differently.

Dixiechickonhols · 12/01/2022 11:14

You need to see a dietitian. If you are at point where you are at high risk of dying it’s not a lose a 1lb a week, walk a bit more approach.
Something like the fast 800 or vlc meal replacements.

StrawberrySquash · 12/01/2022 11:18

Also sleep apnea is caused by being overweight surely not the other way around

I think it's both. Being overweight causes sleep apnea, but poor quality or lack of sleep messes with hormones and appetite and can cause weight gain.

Original poster

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 12/01/2022 11:40

@Ponoka7

Is it a GP or obesity clinic doctor? If GP would he consider refering you to a more specialised service? I was obese, I rode the hunger out. Hunger isn't something to fear, it shows that what you are doing is working. You need a proper plan to suit you. I'd never have gone swimming, exercise was painful, so I had to drop two stone first. I did it quickly using Exante. Then low carb calorie counting and added in exercise as my weight went down. My high blood pressure went down and I stopped being pre diabetic on Exante. Being morbidly obese and losing weight needs support, it isn't like having a stone to lose, your body is running completely differently.

It was a GP but not in the UK. When I first started overeating/going up in weight I went back to the sleep clinic who checked out the sleep apnea but they said it was all fine and that there was something else going on and to go back to my health centre. GP did a referral to the dietician at the time but they passed the referral onto the obesity clinic in the city. I haven't heard anything from them yet. That was in May.

I've used the word 'hunger' to describe what's happening but it isn't really that. It's like an overwelming drive that I can't control. I know I'm not hungry as I can feel that my stomach is full but at the same time there is this gnawing empty feeling that only stops when the sick feeling from eating too much overrides it. It's making me eat to the point where I then have to concentrate on not vomiting. It's horrible.

OP posts:

FrozZen · 12/01/2022 12:01

Drink olive leaf tea. It has been used successfully for centuries for high blood pressure, amongst many other illnesses. Very cheap and very healthy.

Zilla1 · 12/01/2022 12:13

There are more than two anti-hypertensives, OP, so it might be an idea to discuss an alternative while seeking support for diet/exercise/other issues.

Good luck.

ClumpingBambooIsALie · 12/01/2022 12:25

Ask what other options there are for BP meds.

I think some posters here have no idea of the impact some medications can have on the urge to eat, and how incredibly hard it can be to resist. I took olanzapine for a while when I was young and gained a huge amount of weight, and I can only compare the feeling to fasting for three days and then trying to resist a hot, juicy, delicious-looking steak and chips (or whatever your favourite meal is) that's been placed right in front of you. But constantly. Day and night, weeks, months, years on end. Even when you've recently eaten.

OP I hope you find a solution.

Original poster

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 12/01/2022 12:29

@ClumpingBambooIsALie

Ask what other options there are for BP meds.

OP I hope you find a solution.

Exactly. I'm at the point where I'm considering putting myself at risk of a heart attack or a stroke just to escape from the feeling because it never stops. It's driving me crazy.

OP posts:

Leftbutcameback · 12/01/2022 12:30

That sounds so tough OP. Have you considered getting some more blood tests done for example to check hormone levels? If you can afford too it might be useful (unless your dr has done all that)

Leftbutcameback · 12/01/2022 12:31

Might also be worth talking to a pharmacist about possible alternatives / side effects

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