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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bought a flat from hell. What now?

388 replies

LeonieLondon · 11/01/2022 16:57

I changed name and posting here to get more advice. Sorry long post
I recently bought what I thought was my dream flat in Kensington. For the past 14 years i have worked hard and saved most of my money. finally got on a property ladder with my dp (soon to be dh). We were renting a very similar type of place for the past 3 years (a flat in a mansion block) and had a very good experience- no noise from neighbours, no disasters in the flat, no leaks, generally no problems.
Turns out my new dream flat in a ‘sought after and prestigious mansion block’ has got zero sound insulation, there are not only every day neighbour noises (tv, chatter, laughing) coming from right, left and below (we are top floor, i insisted on a top floor flat because i thought i wouldn’t hear the neighbours…)

I can hear my neighbours boilers from every direction, imagine constant very loud amplified humming in your ear
below neighbours are fans what seems to be drum and bass and i hear bass noise coming from their place every day
said neighbours make my floor and walls shake when they walk- is this a structural fault? I can be sitting in my bed or on a sofa and it literally shakes
i am pretty sure they can also hear us stomp even though we are quiet

-there is a gas meter in a cupboard of one of the bedrooms which makes a very loud ticking/clicking sound every 2 seconds, again so loud and amplified. It would be impossible to sleep there or work while heating is on or someone turns hot water on (never even noticed this when viewing, but having lived in a bedroom with a boiler cupboard in it i wouldn’t even suspect that would be a problem) I am not even THAT sensitive to noise but i feel i am spiralling into paranoia.

the fucking helicopters?!?! There is a heliport in battersea over the other side of the river…

We are meant to be putting new floor with sound proofing but given that neighbours play drum and bass i think the sound will travel through walls and chimneys anyway?
I don’t want to be here, it’s a complete disaster. I am now paranoid about every sound and movement
Any advice please? Move? Wait? Do i even bother changing the floors, spending £15k+ on new floors only to discover no noise change?
I feel like this mansion block compared with the one i lived is so flimsy.
I feel no joy from buying anything new for the house- it shouldn’t be like this :(

OP posts:

threatmatrix · 13/01/2022 06:57

You need to move as where it’s got so bad for your mental health it will never get any better no matter what you do.

PriamFarrl · 13/01/2022 07:25

@Emmasonej3791

Why are you on mumsnet if you don’t have or want kids?

That doesn’t make any difference to her problem.

Also, there is much on here that has nothing to do with children:
Pets
Knitting
Gardening
Feminism
Cooking
Work
TV
Films
Clothes
Make up
Women’s health

Shall I continue?

Smc1973 · 13/01/2022 08:01

Hugely disappointing;( I would immediately look for a new place , put Appartment up for sale
And move on, nothing you do will stop this, and in the meantime earplugs at night can be a lifesaver, put it down to experience

MyFirstHypnosis · 13/01/2022 08:49

“Word of warning, your home is your safe space, if you do not feel happy there, then life gets tough.”

thenovice · 13/01/2022 09:11

Move

ellyeth · 13/01/2022 10:17

I am so sorry that you have put such a huge investment into a flat that you are finding difficult to live in comfortably. It must be very disappointing.

Perhaps the suggestion to get some sort of sound survey and sound insulation advice is a good one. I wonder, though, if this, along with canvassing neighbours about sound issues, might be inadvisable if you are seriously considering selling up. Speaking with neighbours about it might come to light if you moved - the sound survey is perhaps more safe but might be considered to be something you should disclose when selling so might be a little risky.

Would "masking" the various unwelcome noises by having an ambient cd playing (sounds of rain, waterfalls, birds, etc) work? I don't know.

If you sell up very quickly questions might be asked as to the reasons and you would need to be prepared to have a very good - and very believable - reason for wanting to move so quickly after purchase.

As others have said, it could just be that, having spent so much money, you are feeling anxious at the moment about your investment and these issues are thus being magnified. Perhaps wait a while and see if you still feel the same in a few months.

gogoinamercedes · 13/01/2022 10:29

just move. Anywhere. Regroup and then move on.

sillyme563 · 13/01/2022 11:46

We're in an identical situation. We put soundproofing, helped a bit but impact noise is still quite an issue. Downstairs walking around makes upstairs shake. Upstairs child running makes our ceiling shake.
We've put it on the market and hoping for gullible mugs like us to come along and buy it like we did.

VelvetChairGirl · 13/01/2022 12:01

"No, OP says it is Edwardian."

my aunt lived in an Edwardian flat in Belsize park (my father owns it now). you could hear the TV next door, people walking down the coridor etc and the woman upstairs kept leaving the bath running and it all came thru the celing (she had dementia).

my father hasn't done anything with the place yet, will probably sell it or start renting it out this year or next (aunt died last year and her affiars have not been fully sorted out yet).

They didnt have insulation in those days, for that matter they didnt have TVs, radios etc either, just a piano if you was rich enough.

BritMommyAbroad · 13/01/2022 13:26

I feel your pain OP. I really do.
I lived in downtown Manhattan for 3 years. We had 4 men (and their girlfriends) living in the 3 bedroom apartment above us. The noise was constant and horrendous. Thank your lucky stars you’re on the top floor. The heavy footsteps, women in heels on wood floors, constant party’s, it drove me nearly mad. My anxiety was through the roof, especially at the weekends. My two children were constantly disturbed. I’m m afraid I have no advice to offer but I just wanted to let you know that I understand. I know how awful it is. I know how you feel driven to insanity. We moved to a new city and bought a city center town house (obviously cheaper than Manhattan!) and I can breathe again. I hope you can resolve it. Good luck OP.

Bangolads · 13/01/2022 15:24

I grew up in one of those mansion flats! They’re large and beautiful but old and come with a set of issues too. The floor sound proofing sounds like a good start, the meter sounds old and can probably be sorted too. Old places do shake a bit in London/ busy cities and I’ve experienced it wherever I’ve lived there. Sound proof the walls too- they’re beautiful flats and if it’s where you want to be spend the money. Have you gotten advice from a specialist?

Teejaybee · 13/01/2022 16:48

Sell it

Fender697 · 13/01/2022 17:10

Thank God I Own My Own Home and all the noise I deal with is My Next Door Neighbor who parties with His Friends in the warmer months. I also had a Rental House with two apartments. The Downstairs Tenant was in a band and practiced His drum playing the upstairs Tenant never paid Her rent They had rental agreements they did not honor and it took forever to evict them. If I had the money, I would make sure there were acres of land surrounding the House.

Newmummy20 · 13/01/2022 17:51

I wouldn’t apologise, it’s a lot of money you have worked hard for. A nightmare is a nightmare regardless of cost. It’s all relative!

I would ask a sound proofing expert. Having rented and bought in London I know, there is a huge need for them! I would then ask them what you can reasonably expect from soundproofing the floor (rather than assuming), and also ask maybe an estate agent if that work adds value to a property?

I would also ask downstairs to turn it down. Do you know if they own the property of if it is rented? If the latter, you could also complain to the agency. You can also start making notes of the time and decibel they play at to back up, going to the council if needed.

It’s all a faf, but well done on buying your flat! It’s a huge achievement. I would perhaps put white noise on? It drowns everything out and after a while you don’t notice it.

Make a plan, go through your options one by one. It’s amazing how that can boost you.

Good luck! Xx

JonSnowIsALoser · 13/01/2022 18:58

Move to a flat in the Barbican - I stayed there house sitting for friends for a week. You can't hear a thing through those concrete walls! And the residents' gardens are a dream. Bliss.

Samara26 · 13/01/2022 22:08

@Nicola101177

People are living in deprivation. Some parents can’t afford to feed their children. Some children don’t even have beds. Grow up, sell up and move somewhere else.

Jesus! Didn't anyone ever tell you that if you don't have anything nice to say, you say nothing! You sound very jealous to me! Some people have more money, some less - that's life! Accept it and move on...

hopeso · 14/01/2022 00:03

HI OP, I'm sorry, I haven't read the full thread as it's long, it's late and I'm tired, so I apologise if I repeat what's been said already. When I bought my flat (East London), I got the keys, went to look around and then went straight back to my parents and didn't go back for 3 weeks. It then took me another nearly 6 months to move in properly because I didn't like it - cold, noisy, not used to living in a flat etc. Would go back a bit, do a bit of painting, order some furniture etc then leave again for another couple of weeks!

I ended up staying there for 20 years! Over time, I did things like add secondary glazing to make it quieter and warmer, changed the flooring, added a loft extension etc. I also had neighbours from hell from time to time but they always left as they were usually tenants.

I think you need to give it time. You're anxious because you have spent the most money you will ever spend in your life in one go. You are automatically looking out for every small noise, your brain is actively searching for it. Don't rush into anything. Your flat sounds amazing to me! And as a Londoner, I am definitely impressed by your location. Give it a few months. Get to know the neighbours, you can find out stuff indirectly by just asking them what they think of the area, how long they've been there etc. My hubby and I moved to a house about 10 minutes from the flat. It's nearer a busy area so the parking's worse, the traffic's worse, a neighbour was having parties every weekend for a while. I really missed the flat. There's a wedding venue at the end of the road so it gets busy with cars, people and fireworks! I don't notice anything now. Just live in it for a while, don't do much in terms of renovations, get a feel and then have a rethink in a few months. Good luck.

Skilovingmama · 14/01/2022 06:27

@hopeso

I think this is great advice. Give it time. I’ve not seen your flat of course but I can’t imagine that a mansion block flat in Kensington would be anything other than stunning. Try to sort the problems out bit by bit and I reckon you’ll learn to love it!

NellyBarney · 14/01/2022 09:15

There are lots of things you could do to make a significant difference:

if it's a period building, take the existing plaster off, put breathable woodfibre boards onto the walls with lime plaster
insulate the floor, between and above the beams. If a period property, use sheepwool or woodfibre wool. Put thick carpet on top of floorboards
get secondary glazing
change the meter to a modern smart meter
get lots of lovely soft furnishing which will help to absorb the noise

All of the above would come in, depending on size of your flat, at probably pretty much the amount you paid in stamp duty. So it really depends on how much you like the location - and how easy you think it will be to find a flat that is very quiet. My preferred way would be to do the insulation myself, as with a period property, some previous 'improvements' can cause massive deterioration to the fabric of the building.

BasiliskStare · 14/01/2022 14:00

@hopeso - Brilliant advice It takes a while to get used to a new house / flat & also to get used to what you can get used to . I moved once and thought I would have to sell it immediately - 10 years later I shed a tear because we had to move.

Original poster

LeonieLondon · 14/01/2022 16:27

Thanks all. I have screen-shoted many replies, the advice is really helpfull.
Just to clarify some things-
@Emmasonej3791- i said i don’t have and won’t be having kids, but not that i don’t WANT to. And living in the hustle and bustle of the city really helps to keep one thoughts occupied.

By close to the river i didn’t mean on the river, but close enough that i can be doing the morning jog along the river. And i don’t do a 10k run

A bit of an update - i came home last night at 10:45 pm hoping it would be quiet but the downstairs were on their movie session with the full surround sound. I had the bass noise in every room of the flat. Not just noise but also the feeling that really goes through you and gives you heart palpitations. I cried myself to sleep wearing noise cancelling headphones till after midnight. Dp is away at the moment and back at the weekend, when he is going to speak to the neighbours.
We have 2 separate soundproofing people coming to have a look and tell us what can be done. From reading about it the bass sound, it is pretty much impossible to eliminate unless the building is made of concrete.

I have never been ultra sensitive to noise, i lived just off holland park avenue with constant sirens, double deckers, engine reeves, constant horns. But never a noise was coming through me like this.

I asked dp last night on the phone through tears about possibility of ‘doing the place up’ (including soundproofing and new floors) and selling it but he was not interested. ‘Let’s not think about it right now and see what can be done’.
I will update in a few weeks/months to say if soundproofing worked…

OP posts:

BalladOfBarryAndFreda · 14/01/2022 16:58

You don’t have to explain your reproductive status to anyone, @LeonieLondon

MyFirstHypnosis · 14/01/2022 17:02

Oh I’ve had nights like that OP, crying and apologising for having made the purchase, with that bass sound going right through you just as you describe. I’m so sorry.

Clearly doing nothing is not an option. Well done for getting the ball rolling.

May I suggest you keep a noise diary? Small things like diaries can save your sanity and may prove of practical use too.
Posting here can be a good “log” too. After a while you’ve every possible pattern of reply but it still gives you some voice.

It’s extremely difficult not to give the noisy neighbours the upper hand by becoming emotional - I hope your partner does a good job :(

It’s a horrible thing and I hardly talked about it in real life because I felt ashamed/embarrassed.

TopCatsTopHat · 14/01/2022 17:04

Oh god. Being surrounded by nose is very different to feeling like your body is a tuning fork! I really how that whatever direction you take, you and your dp can agree as being forced to tolerate something you can't is sanity /relationship destroying. Good luck, hope you can resolve this.

MyFirstHypnosis · 14/01/2022 17:05

.....one of my sound engineers went downstairs to talk to the neighbours himself OP - it was a really nice thing to do as of course he wasn’t emotional and had some authority

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