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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To say no to my DS as I think too long a day

116 replies

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 15:28

My children go to a very sporty independent prep school.

My almost 9 year old DS has been selected for school swim squad. He needs to be in the pool by 7.30am at school. We are a 15 min drive to school.

During the day, he will then have a double lesson of PE (would be rugby or hockey)

And then at the end of the day he has water polo club until 5.45pm.

So out the house from 7.15 to 6.20pm ish. And a very full on day.

He needs to stay on for after school water polo to fit worn my work.

I am not keen on him doing the morning swim squad but he is absolutely and utterly desperate to do it. Logistically I could do it, my question is - is it too long and full a day for a just turned 9 year old?

Normal school day - drop at 8am and pick up either 4.30 or 5.45pm

Needless to say he’s keen but this is a child fast asleep by 7.30pm every night without fail!

Tia

OP posts:

Gonnagetgoing · 11/01/2022 16:05

I'd do it for a term and see how he copes. If he wants to give it up after a term up to him. But they have boundless energy at that age.

Gonnagetgoing · 11/01/2022 16:06

@Whatayear81

Oh he’s not a “swimmer”

I mean he’s very good
But not remotely his passion
It’s a school squad, not county

But he could get much better as a swimmer if he practised in this squad.

sussexman · 11/01/2022 16:10

I'd give him a term (or year) and review with him at the end. You say he has to stay for Water Polo after school because of work, but could he stay for something else?

BlingLoving · 11/01/2022 16:20

Sounds like you'll let him, which I think is the right decision. For what it's worth, I think that children are surprisingly able to cope with this level of intensity, especially if they're good sleepers. Certainly, when I was at school (in another country and a disturbingly long time ago), we started early, had PE/swimming a few times a week, would do up to 2 hours of after school sport etc routinely, all from a fairly young age. Admittedly, homework wasn't really a think until we were about 11 though.

BoredZelda · 11/01/2022 16:20

My daughter is disabled and managed to do a similarly active day when she was in P6. Sure, she was tired but she coped fine despite her issues with mobility and stamina.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/01/2022 16:22

It's not an assumption , it's what you said. Plenty of much younger children are in before and after school childcare from 7.30 until 6 and manage perfectly fine. If he finds it too much he can always drop one

BookFiend4Life · 11/01/2022 16:27

OP I think the idea to do it for one term is not a bad one. I would also just make sure he's getting enough to eat when burning so many calories, and does he have time for schoolwork if in bed by 730? I would almost recommend a calorie dense smoothie or protein shake each morning or night though I know he's young for that!! It is an awful lot of physical activity, I would imagine he needs to eat like a horse to keep up his energy.

Bitezbabe · 11/01/2022 16:32

Let him try and see how he gets on.

CarbonelCat · 11/01/2022 16:35

It sound alike you maybe have concerns about the intensity of his day in general? A very sporty school that is very very academic will only increase in expectation and demand. As a pp says, you must have chosen it partly because you want that for your DC but if you're already feeling they're asking more than you'd like to give then maybe consider a move?

FWIW, my dc (at non sporty, non academic schools poor potatoes) do several hours of competitive sport including v early morning starts every week and often a couple in the same day and they seem to really thrive on it. I like it being a choice rather than an expectation though

MyDcAreMarvel · 11/01/2022 16:35

I am understanding this correctly the water polo is for your benefit, but you want your ds to continue that and not to the morning sport he loves?

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2022 16:36

That's not bad start time for swimming. Most local squads are 6am

Hillarious · 11/01/2022 16:36

My son used to fit in academy football after school followed by ballroom dancing, fortunately on the same site and the ballroom teacher didn't mind the mud on many of the boys. But, just like a previous poster, that was after a full academic day, and not a very, very academic day.

waterrat · 11/01/2022 16:37

God I am green with envy. As a parent of a 9 year old in the state system he barely moves all day. And he would love all that sport.

MsAnnFrope · 11/01/2022 16:40

DD is 8 but I’m thinking same school year as your DS. She has a day where she has swimming at 8.30 then PE then gymnastics 6-7. I know it’s not as long but as she also has gym/dance on 3 other nights she does qui a lot of exercise.
She has coped fine but she is a night owl like her dad. She knows if it affected her well-being she would need to drop an evening session but so far she has been thriving on it.

AnEpisodeOfEastenders · 11/01/2022 16:41

That’s what happens at private school. He could always go to the local comp, start at 8:45am and finish at 3pm with no extra curricular activities, I know which I would prefer for mine.

hivemindneeded · 11/01/2022 16:43

@itwasntaparty

Life of a swimmer tbh, i used to be at the pool at 05.30 and my poor parents had to facilitate it.

I was going to say, he's getting off lightly. The swimmers I knew were all in the pool by 5.30 am.

I agree that he should give it a try. Pack loads of snacks and let him know that as soon as it stops being fun he is allowed to withdraw from the team. there will be zero parental pressure to stay on the squad, even if there's pressure from school.

IMO it has to be the most boring sport to train for, so he would have to really want to do it, for me to encourage and support it. Indoors, covered in chlorine, up and down and rectangle of water, such long unsociable hours and little chance of making a national squad. Water polo sounds a lot more fun. At least it's interactive.

RantyAunty · 11/01/2022 16:44

He'll be fine!

Ah, to have all the boundless energy of the youngsters!

Witch708 · 11/01/2022 16:45

That's typical for swim training. Let him do it.

HaveringWavering · 11/01/2022 16:50

Is it correct that he will swim in the morning, have a double PE lesson and then do water polo every single day? You say you pick him up at 4:30 some days so is Water Polo not every day?

The length of the day sounds fine (my reception child is in school/after school club 8am to 6pm every day with no issues) but the repetitious nature of the pool-based activity sounds a bit much if it’s every day.

1forAll74 · 11/01/2022 16:51

Definitely go for it. It is a pity, that so many more children can't get involved with all these things. All good for the mind, body, and health, and good sleep by the sound of it, and better than some childhhood activities ! You are never too young,to embark on sporting activities.

Anonymous48 · 11/01/2022 16:55

If he wants to do it, then definitely let him try! It will be so good for him if he enjoys it. And it's not like you'll be leaving the house super early. 7:15 is a pretty normal time for most people to leave for school, isn't it?

manseymoo1987 · 11/01/2022 17:02

I think it would be tough but if he's motivated to do it then he's more likely to manage it. My dc10 swims in a club and does 1.5 hours on a Monday from 6-7.30 (plus 2 other swims a week). She's asked to do netball this term which will be on a Monday 3-4pm. I think she'll be shattered but her friends are going so we'll give it a go. She also has homework to fit in.

caringcarer · 11/01/2022 17:07

My dd went to independent school where day started at 8.15. lessons stopped at 2.30 and sports every day from 3-5. Then back to school houses for prep from 5.15-6.30. school bus brought her home by about 7.05pm. She left for school at 7.30 every day. Had to go in on Saturday for half day. Half day was from 8.15-2.30 but then she was in netball and hockey teams as well as swim squad so then did sports till 6. She loved it. Let him try it and see how he gets on.

Hellocatshome · 11/01/2022 17:11

the repetitious nature of the pool-based activity sounds a bit much if it’s every day.

Hahaha welcome to the world of swimming, the most repetitive sport you can think of. My son swims 10 hours a week. Up and down and up and down. Bores me to tears but they all seem to like it.

Original poster

Whatayear81 · 11/01/2022 17:14

@Popskipiekin

Hi OP, useful to hear DS adores water polo. My suggestion was going to be he switch to a non watery and non active after school activity, if possible, but given he wants to do it then that’s out! My only other (silly) thought is that he’ll need two lots of swim stuff and towels etc as they’ll be wet from the morning unless school has those spinner facilities… Sounds like DS really wants to do it and if it causes you not too much hassle then just do for a term and see how it goes. I expect at some stage he will have to cave and one of the watery activities will go - but maybe he will surprise me / you!

Hey…. I’d not thought of that!!! Thank you so much. Two towels etc

OP posts:

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