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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want it to be about me, just once

33 replies

Girlsgoingonteenagers · 09/01/2022 19:51

I tested positive for covid. No one else in family did they've all had recently. Granted I'm not that ill but DH and DC (9 and 5) literally don't even acknowledge the fact that I might be! It's the same everytime I'm ill, tired, stressed....someone else is always more ill, tired or stressed.

OK so the DCs are too young to really understand but DH should surely?

I literally cooked a full Sunday dinner on my own and then he stropped cos I touched his plate with my "covid hands" at the end.....i touched everything on the table cos I cooked ALL OF IT.

to be honest I hate been made a fuss of but it would it be nice to think people would be happy to.

OP posts:

MimiSunshine · 09/01/2022 19:53

Take yourself off to your bedroom, jam the door and tell him you’re self isolating and he can now do it all himself and you’ll have meals left at your door.
Make sure you have plenty of things to keep you occupied and text him requests regularly

Mrstamborineman · 09/01/2022 19:57

Omg ! & “COVID hands touching his plate “ without being rude he is an idiot.
Leave everything. And lay down.

thefirstmrsrochester · 09/01/2022 19:57

Yes, take yourself off to bed and leave your husband to it, he’s a grown adult, he can deal with the dc and household tasks. YANBU.

Crunchymum · 09/01/2022 20:00

If you know that no-one is going to help you, then why be a martyr and cook a full roast.

I'd have served the fuckers beans on toast.

SavoyCabbage · 09/01/2022 20:07

@Crunchymum

If you know that no-one is going to help you, then why be a martyr and cook a full roast.

I'd have served the fuckers beans on toast.

I agree. It wouldn't cross my mind to cook a traditional Sunday dinner on my own when I'm ill.

I would either tell dh he needed to produce a meal or I'd have cooked something extremely quick and simple.

Frannibananni · 09/01/2022 20:10

Yabu in the way that you are playing the martyr. Stop fucking cooking, have a rest, look after yourself. It’s very hard to feel sorry for someone acting a martyr.

pansypotter123 · 09/01/2022 20:14

Surely cooking that roast will have worn you out and now you will have to stay in bed ..... for the rest of the week at least

WorraLiberty · 09/01/2022 20:14

Another one who thinks you're being a martyr.

If you didn't fancy cooking a full Sunday dinner because you're ill, you shouldn't have done it.

HelenaJustina · 09/01/2022 20:18

Recent infection or not, I’d be minimising my mixing with the rest of the family and certainly not doing any meal prep. Get some drinks/snacks and bugger off somewhere calm and comfortable to self-isolate. Tell DH you are going to keep your COVID hands to yourself. 9 and 5 aren’t tiny children, when I was self-isolating in my bedroom, my 8yr old checked in with me and asked if I needed anything.

Bluebluemoon · 09/01/2022 20:19

The "covid hands" comment is nasty and extremely thick - I mean, what kind of mental capacity does someone have who is happy for you to cook him a meal, wafting germs everywhere but then thinks you automatically become contagious when you hand him the plate?

But that aside, you've brought this on yourself. Why on earth are you cooking a Sunday roast if you feel unwell?

Go to bed and stay there til you feel better.

Covidclaire · 09/01/2022 20:21

Tell him to fuck off and cook his own Sunday tea.

SlashBeef · 09/01/2022 20:24

Who cooks a Sunday roast when they're ill?! He's being a dick but you're enabling that by being his servant. I'd tell him to get to fuck and take myself off to bed!

Notimeforaname · 09/01/2022 20:24

Just stop doing things for him. He will sort the kids

candycane222 · 09/01/2022 20:27

Either you are a martyr, or he is abusive. Do you always do everything around the house? If so, in the name if women's rights, why?????

Sideswiped · 09/01/2022 20:27

What a hypocrite!
What PP said, get yourself in bed and tell him you're isolating (in your bedroom - he can sleep elsewhere because you have covid everything, not just hands), because you've realised how infectious you could be....
Then follow up with you obviously can't be in contact with him or anyone else, so he will have to deal with dc and that you need him to leave food outside the door - regularly, because you need to keep your strength up while you're fighting it off.
If you have an en suite, use that, otherwise tell him he will need to clean the bathroom several times a day as well.
Then wait and watch while he realises what a huge home he has dug himself into....

sadpapercourtesan · 09/01/2022 20:28

My "covid hands" would have pitched his dinner straight into the bin, the rude, ungrateful cunt.

STOP catering to him. You're ill (you say "not that ill" so I reckon you're not feeling great) so you need rest.

AngelinaFibres · 09/01/2022 20:29

@WorraLiberty

Another one who thinks you're being a martyr.

If you didn't fancy cooking a full Sunday dinner because you're ill, you shouldn't have done it.

If they know you hate a fuss, because you have presumably communicated this at some point in the past , why would they think you want them to make a fuss. If you can cook a full Sunday lunch you are not that ill. If you are that ill you should be in bed, not cooking a lunch. They could have had sandwiches. Sunday lunch is fine if you can be bothered. Not having Sunday lunch is also fine.

MusicTeacherSussex · 09/01/2022 20:30

I'd have served the fuckers a "you know where the food is, good luck."

Luredbyapomegranate · 09/01/2022 20:30

You know you aren’t being unreasonable op but what the hell are you doing cooking a roast. Go to bed or lie on the sofa

Drivingmisspotty · 09/01/2022 20:32

You are right. He should have stepped up without being asked. But my DP would be the same so I have found the best thing when ill is just to be really clear

‘I’ve got a horrible headache you’ll need to do dinner tonight’
‘I feel rubbish I’m going for a nap’

If I actually go to bed that seems to have more effect than just saying I am poorly. If you are too poorly to cook a roast dinner don’t cook it. Show yourself the respect you deserve and others are more likely to notice.

WorraLiberty · 09/01/2022 20:34

@Luredbyapomegranate

You know you aren’t being unreasonable op but what the hell are you doing cooking a roast. Go to bed or lie on the sofa

Why though?

The OP says she's not that ill. The problem is they didn't acknowledge that she might be.

And then goes on to say she hates being made a fuss of, but thinks it would be nice to think people would be happy to fuss over her.

All a bit confusing really.

LavenderAskew · 09/01/2022 20:39

What did you say in response to his covid hands comment?

And what was his reaction to that?

ShittyGlitter · 09/01/2022 20:57

Going against the grain a bit here, so you feel fine, went ahead and cooked a roast dinner, but want your DH (who is a Twat.."covid hands" really!?) and two young children do what exactly?

The kids need you to tell them what you would like them to do, they can't interpret weird martyr behaviour.

As for DH, sounds like he may be too thick to understand your feelings, even if you did explain it slowly with small words.

3mealsaday · 09/01/2022 21:07

I literally cooked a full Sunday dinner on my own and then he stropped cos I touched his plate with my "covid hands" at the end.....i touched everything on the table cos I cooked ALL OF IT.

At this point, I like to think I would have put his 'covid dinner' straight in the bin.

Yotrotro · 09/01/2022 21:13

I'm sorry you are ill....but you are being a martyr. My mum used to do this when ill, infact I actually think she used to do more housework/fancy cooking etc to prove a point and moan. If we asked what needed doing, we'd get a sarcastic reply. If we dared try to do anything to help, we wouldn't have done it right. I.e. make a meal with ingredients from the fridge that were going off, but it wouldn't have been the meal she would have made or put a washing on but actually she wanted to a boil wash of tea towels or something, but wouldn't have said. If we said to go to bed and rest, we'd get a huff about nothing getting done. It was tiring so we just gave up. You need to give people space to help you...

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