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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Please help solve this argument! Pulling my hair out.

94 replies

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 19:12

I will try and keep this as succinct as possible.

DC's have a very committed scooter hobby. Thanks he parts cost a bastard fortune, but they save and they are committed. A full scooter (stunt scooter, not small motor bike) is about £400-£600.

DS1 had his stolen by a bunch of 17 year old arseholes who took it off him, threatened him and then eventually sold the parts.
I borrowed money from a something else I was saving for for the house and bought him a new scooter. My thinking was, it was an outdoor activity that kept him fit and out of trouble (generally!) and he had committed many years to it and trains for competitions and so on.

DS2 is following in his footsteps and has been for about 2 years.
One kid asked to swap wheels to he could have a go, and fucked of with my sons (much better) wheels.
DS2 was gutted.

He came home and my son realise they are his wheels from his stolen scooter.

Here's this issue.

DS1 wants his wheels back. Despite me buying him a brand new scooter.
His argument is - they are his wheels. He wants them back.

DS2 says they aren't his wheels, his were stolen and without them he has none.

To stop the arguments, I bought DS2 some new wheels and DS1 got his old ones back.

Now the argument has started again, they both claim the old wheels are theirs.

Who is correct?!

I can't just chuck the wheels because wheels wear out quickly and they will be needed when the new pair wear out.

OP posts:

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:12

@NickiMinajerie

No idea but why are the police not involved in any of this, especially if you know who the receiver of stolen goods is.

They were.

OP posts:

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:13

@NickiMinajerie

i.e. the scrote who nicked DS2s wheels clearly bought DS1 from twunt teen. Unless insurance covered all this, all the youths thinking parts are swapsies, ought to face consequences.

What? No one swapped?

What are you on about?

OP posts:

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:15

@Thevoiceofreason2021

You paid for them. They are yours.

I agree.

They are absolutely mine.

However when the next DS's wheels wear out, they will come to me and ask for these ones.

So I'm just putting the argument off...

OP posts:

DanielRicciardosSmile · 09/01/2022 21:16

*What? No one swapped?

What are you on about?*

You said in your original post that someone swapped with DS2.

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:17

@sykadelic

DS1 owns the wheels. They're returning stolen property.

DS2 never owned the wheels, he was in receipt of stolen property. He has wheels now that he owns and the original owner had their stolen property returned to them.

If you take siblings out of it, and do cars instead of wheels... you wouldn't keep the car of a thief when they stole your car, you'd give it to police. Same thing.

That's what I did, I used to car analogy and DS2 was going crazy still.

He said it's not the same - it bloody well is though. It's the principle.

Thanks for the help and clarity, most have you have been really helpful!

OP posts:

PotatoBreadsticks · 09/01/2022 21:17

@powershowerforanhour

Sell both scooters, wheels and all and buy them some boxing lessons.

This

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:18

@DanielRicciardosSmile

*What? No one swapped?

What are you on about?*

You said in your original post that someone swapped with DS2.

Under duress, then scooter off with them.

No longer swapped.

It was stolen.

If I leant my friend my car, while her shitty one was sat on my drive, and she fucked off with my good quality one and I never saw her again, that's not "swapsies"

That's theft.

OP posts:

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:19

This

Helpful.

OP posts:

KiloWhat · 09/01/2022 21:19

Give DS1 the old wheels and DS2 can have the new wheels you bought to replace them?

tiredanddangerous · 09/01/2022 21:19

It sounds like letting them go out with £400 scooters isn't working.

KiloWhat · 09/01/2022 21:20

And tell them not to lend their stuff.

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:27

@AlDanvers

So many questions. I take it when ds1 noticed they were his wheels, you reported that to the police?

As a follow up to the original report when he had his bike stolen?

Why was it not insured?

And why is ds2 swopping wheels with people ge barely knows? How old are they?

And where is all this happening? In the street? If they have no chance of actually keeping their belongings, then it might be time to give it up. How long can you keep throwing money at this?

I do think, technically, they are ds1 wheels.

Yes it was reported. Sweet FA was done.

Yes the police were updated. Sweet FA was done.

It wasn't a bike.

Ages - DS1 is 15, DS2 is 10.

We live next door to a skatepark.

The group of arseholes that took DS1's scooter we're 17-18, there was 7 of the fuckers.

The person who took my 10 year olds wheels was 15.

Why on Earth would they give it up?

DS1 has been doing this for years and years, he's really bloody good at it.
He doesn't just scoot up a hill and back down like Peppa Pig and George.

What kind of shit life lesson would it be if I told him to give up something he loved and worked hard for because a gang of teens stole something?
What kind of parent would do that?
You?!

OP posts:

SalmonEile · 09/01/2022 21:27

Why is your DS1 happy to see his brother go without?

If DS2 hadnt “swapped” and subsequently been a victim of theft too then the stolen wheels wouldn’t be back in your home at all.

Why is your DS1 so adamant to have them back when he got a whole new scooter? Are they more special or rare or sentimental? Is he resentful of DS2 having the same hobby as him?
The other option is to sell the wheels and put the money back into whatever it was you were saving for and when they both need new ones they can save like they usually do

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:28

@tiredanddangerous

It sounds like letting them go out with £400 scooters isn't working.

So. Stop the hobbie?

When bikes are stolen, should we all stop using bikes?

Is that what people do?

That's a weird one.

OP posts:

MargaretThursday · 09/01/2022 21:30

I'd say a mixture:

They are dc1's wheels, can he claim them back in the eyes of the law? Don't know.
I do know a friend was given the option of taking his stolen bike back when he saw it-as he'd claimed on insurance he didn't, but the police told him he could, if I remember rightly. (funny one, it was stolen at uni, he saw them 400 miles away in his home town, with someone who'd bought it at the local market!)

Dc1 however has a new scooter-I assume as good as the old one? If it's not as good, I see his point.

But dc1 had a pretty traumatic time I'd guess if he was threatened, whereas dc2 by the sounds of it was a bit silly.

I think the obvious solution is dc1 has the choice between his wheels or the ones on his scooter and gives the others to dc2.

Alternatively whoever's wheels wear out first get the spare set.
But tell dc2 not to be so gullible again.

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:30

Why is your DS1 so adamant to have them back when he got a whole new scooter? Are they more special or rare or sentimental? Is he resentful of DS2 having the same hobby as him?

Goodness me. You're barking up the wrong banana there.

As I've said twice. Wheels wear out quickly.
He knew full well he would need them relatively soon, so wanted them to use next.

No psychology behind that one.

OP posts:

SalmonEile · 09/01/2022 21:32

But his wheels would’ve worn out anyway ?

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:33

@MargaretThursday

I'd say a mixture:

Dc1 however has a new scooter-I assume as good as the old one? If it's not as good, I see his point.

But dc1 had a pretty traumatic time I'd guess if he was threatened, whereas dc2 by the sounds of it was a bit silly.

I think the obvious solution is dc1 has the choice between his wheels or the ones on his scooter and gives the others to dc2.

Alternatively whoever's wheels wear out first get the spare set.
But tell dc2 not to be so gullible again.

I think you have hit the nail on the head with everything you have said here. I agree.

Don't tell your biking friend to post on MN about his stolen bike though, they will be advising him to give it up.

OP posts:

Flipflopblowout · 09/01/2022 21:33

Why are you buying expensive stuff for two children who don't take care of it?

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:33

@SalmonEile

But his wheels would’ve worn out anyway ?

Yes.

And it's £60 for a new pair.

Better he puts on an old pair to last him longer.

OP posts:

SalmonEile · 09/01/2022 21:35

So if DS2 had never swapped and come home with his wheels what would he have done?

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:36

@Flipflopblowout

Why are you buying expensive stuff for two children who don't take care of it?

Ah goady.

Not gonna fall for it. Nice try though.

OP posts:

Handsnotwands · 09/01/2022 21:36

I feel there needs to be some adult supervision at the skate park to stop all this criminality

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:36

@SalmonEile

So if DS2 had never swapped and come home with his wheels what would he have done?

Absolutely nothing.

And no arguments would have happened and life would have continued.

OP posts:

Original poster

100daysandBeyond · 09/01/2022 21:38

@Handsnotwands

I feel there needs to be some adult supervision at the skate park to stop all this criminality

This twats were just passing. DS1 has been doing it for 6 years, it's never happened before.

But going by some responses, he would give it up, and it was his fault 7 teens (some adults in fact) stole it from him.

OP posts:

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