Unfortunately and to my regret, relations over the years have broken down with the in laws.
We have tried so many times, especially when I had a cancer scare as they are unfortunately the only living gp. But the dc don't enjoy going to them and they want all contact to be at theirs which is a very controlled formal uncomfortable environment.
Dh has had an extremely troubled relationship with them and now I have. It brings pain.
So... We are v low contact and with covid this has all been fantastic. But they do spring on us and pop around unexpectedly like this am. And it riles me so much 
So they don't come in, they are hugely critical and would be mentioning all the bad things like mess etc. They stand at the door but it's fils questioning tone and clear annoyance with what he doesn't like to hear that drives me mad. I don't speak to them so I didn't go to the door but I can hear fil questioning teen dd.
On her language choices at school for instance. He's been repetitively going on and on to dd about learning mils mother tongue since the poor kid could speak. Relentlessly going on about it, so again... Are you learning mils mother tongue. When she said no, his voice, the astonishment! " BUT WHY er why is that? How come you've made that choice?? " deadly serious tones.
Dd just said, I prefer blah.
Then asking her if she's still into his subjects (maths) again she says no... I like x... I can hear fils voice constricting with displeasure.
To think they have not seen dc in the flesh for a good year and this is what he does when he gets his hands on her so to speak! Interrogation about mils mother tongue again!
It took me all my strength to stop tearing down there to tell him to bloody well back off.
We are extremely lucky that dd is an excellent student and is doing very very well with her preferred language. Not everyone finds language easy! Her teacher also seems to adore her and there is no need to learn mils tongue. Mil has lived here for 40 years and speaks perfect English as well as her family.
What's wrong with some people!!
What's going through his head! Go around... And find out what's happening to my grand daughters language choices!! It's like he always relates what they can do back to themselves with fil surprised she's not as into maths as him? It's like he can't see her as separate and he definitely doesn't see his son my dh as separate at all! It's like we are all an extention of a them and not people in our own right!
Anyway.. Got that off my chest. Hopefully we won't get sprung on again for a while!!
It just staggers me the trying to control etc even in these circumstances!