Who is BU - friend or her husband?

[Pandano]

My friend and her husband are both in quite well-paid jobs - my friend in particular an often stressful one. They have two standard size hatchback cars which they use mainly for commuting. No children yet although they’re TTC.

Friend told me that she wants to sell her smaller car and buy a luxury SUV. She said she told her husband this and he asked “why do you need a big car?” She responded “because I work bloody hard and I deserve it”. Her husband still disagreed that it wasn’t something they needed right now.

Are either BU here? I’m on the fence as I can see her husband’s point - it’s a luxury not a necessity - but friend doesn’t see the harm as she thinks although it’s a big outlay, overall they can afford it.

You missed out the rather important issue of who would be paying for it?!

Can’t see the issue if she’s paying for it? I’d never let my husband decide what car I drove.

As long as it's coming out of her money and not joint savings, I don't see an issue?

Her money, her decision?

Depends if in a year's time she would be happy driving it with a pram and a car seat in it!!

If she's paying for it and they can afford it, what does it matter? If people stopped buying stuff they didn't need the world's economy would collapse

If she's playing for it and they can afford it then it's fine. If they are struggling to pay the bills already then I could see the husband's point.

Depends if it's a joint expense or not. Our cars come out of joint money as a family expense, so we both decide what we need, etc. as we tend to use them interchangeably depending on who is doing what.

Neither is really unreasonable - they're a family unit, they should talk about major purchases. Doesn't mean they always have to agree, or that one of them has veto over three other.

However - they're TTC, kids are expensive, as is mat leave. There's also the (massive) environmental impact of buying a new SUV.

Depends on who is paying it and what the plan would be if a baby came along (you mentioned they were TTC) needing a car seat.

I would generally say a major purchase like that should be a joint decision but if she can finance it herself without affecting joint commitments/future plans then it's ultimately her decision.

You need more info on their finances to make a call. Who's paying for it? What effect will it have on their overall family finances? (Including ability to cover additional costs if they are un/successful TTC). Does the Dh get equivalent money to spend as he sees fit?

'quite well paid' and 'can afford it' are subjective.

But for most families I would expect an outlay of that size to be a discussion not a unilateral decision. So unless she's wealthier than 'quite well paid' suggests to me, she's unreasonable for not having a discussion about it, even if ultimately it's reasonable to go ahead with the purchase.

Depends on who is paying for it.

Bigger cars are more expensive to run. Do it’s not just the initial outlay that should ge considered.

I don't understand the 'whose paying for it' comments. They are married, presumably they share finances. If they didn't this would be a non issue.

I am with the husband. I am all for independent savings etc, but they are family and such big purchases should be agreed. Her wasting 60k on a big car is a dent in the family savings.

**
I am with the husband. I am all for independent savings etc, but they are family and such big purchases should be agreed. Her wasting 60k on a big car is a dent in the family savings.**

^I agree

@OmgIThinkILikeYou not all married couples share finances. Its quite normal to have separate accounts.

@OmgIThinkILikeYou

I don't understand the 'whose paying for it' comments. They are married, presumably they share finances. If they didn't this would be a non issue.

If you've ever seen finance threads on MN, you'll see that not all couples share every single penny.

Some put a percentage of their earnings into joint accounts and keep the rest for themselves.

Some also have savings/money from before they got married.

Threads like these are a bit silly when the OP doesn't hang around for at least 5 minutes to answer a couple of initial questions.

If she's going to get some enjoyment from it why not? Life is too short for what ifs
If we only bought things we needed rather than things that give us pleasure what a dull life it would be

@OmgIThinkILikeYou

I don't understand the 'whose paying for it' comments. They are married, presumably they share finances. If they didn't this would be a non issue.

Sharing finances can take different forms. It might be that everything goes into one pot, or it might be that they have joint pot and separate pots. Or they might keep everything separate and divide the bills between their separate accounts.

Missing the point but- is it an electric or hybrid? Because if she wants to guzzle petrol and pollute the environment she is being VVU.

I think there isnt enough info to say

It depends what their outgoings are, how their savings are looking, and what effect this would have on their finances, if large purchases are normally discussed

I wouldn't let my husband decide on which car I bought. I might listen if he had a valuable point about a technical aspect but I bought my own car and pay for it myself. I'd be more worried about the environmental impact of a big car that's not needed.

Massively unreasonable because SUVs are incredibly damaging to the planet, and also much more dangerous for other road users. Anyone who buys a big car as a status symbol is pathetic, no matter how ‘worth it’ they think they are; Chelsea tractors are not something to covet.

If current car is doing the job she is BU