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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call in sick next week too?

128 replies

user4533786 · 08/01/2022 22:52

I have been off work sick this week whilst waiting for PCR results due to having Covid symptoms.
My results took 4 days to come back and were negative. I phoned my manager to tell him my results to which he replied they took ages see you next week then.
I'm still not feeling 100% maybe I will be by Monday, My manager shows no care, I'm CEV so waiting for the results and coping with the symptoms has been hard not just physically but mentally too.
AIBU to phone in sick next week too? I just feel I need some time to prepare myself mentally to go back to my job Confused

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 09/01/2022 07:08

If the self certification rules had not been extended, would you still be considering this ?

BarbaraofSeville · 09/01/2022 07:17

Actually a manager has a duty of care for the people on their team. That's part of their job

Yes, the manager has a duty of care for all the members of their team including the ones who have to cover when someone else is on sick.

For many jobs and employers, there is no spare capacity or ability to find temps. Those who do show up to work just have to absorb the work of the person off sick.

Plus of course the duty of care for the clients/customers/service users, who need or want whatever service or product the business provides.

CJsGoldfish · 09/01/2022 07:21

If you are not still ill then of course you don't phone in sick. Geez.

Livebythecoast · 09/01/2022 07:25

If you're genuinely not well then call in sick but if it's just to prepare yourself to go back then no, you shouldn't call in sick.
It could actually make you feel worse taking another week as by this time next weekend you'll probably be more anxious about going back.
Sometimes when we're anxious, we want to be at home, safe, secure, comfortable etc but the longer you extend it, the worst it can be long term. And before anyone jumps on me about how crippling anxiety can be, I suffer with it myself and know how debilitating it can be. Obviously I'm not saying you're definitely anxious but the way you describe 'preparing yourself ' indicates you might be.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/01/2022 07:30

It sounds as though you’re feeling very anxious. Have you considered referring yourself for counselling through the GP? If you are feeling well enough to work but anxious or needing to transition, are you able to request wfh whilst you mentally adjust?

StarCat2020 · 09/01/2022 07:39

Have you considered referring yourself for counselling through the GP?
Are people getting this level of service from GPs right now?

I had a massive problem getting a repeat prescription issued recently and was without any meds until a MNer gave me some brilliant advice.

SarahBellam · 09/01/2022 07:46

If you need a week to mentally prepare yourself to go back to work then you need mental health support. You should talk to your line manager or HR about accessing occupational health/counselling support as this can often be done through the organisation.

Livebythecoast · 09/01/2022 07:50

@StarCat2020

Have you considered referring yourself for counselling through the GP? Are people getting this level of service from GPs right now?

I had a massive problem getting a repeat prescription issued recently and was without any meds until a MNer gave me some brilliant advice.

I work in a GP surgery and the clinicians are still doing referrals for counselling (where I am at least). However, you can self-refer too although the waiting times are very long even with a GP referral. I paid privately for some hypnotherapy sessions but understand not everyone is able to do this. MH services are extremely poor, even prior to the pandemic sadly.
Orangecaryellowcar · 09/01/2022 07:50

Don’t be flakey. Think of those covering your role or resign so they get someone who’s committed.

StarCat2020 · 09/01/2022 07:58

@Livebythecoast
Thank you for your reply.

ZenNudist · 09/01/2022 08:04

Don't talk rubbish

CeeceeBloomingdale · 09/01/2022 08:06

If you are still ill then ring in sick. If not then you've had time to get your head around it, results were in by Saturday at the latest and you've said you're not due to work until Monday. I was in a similar situation last week, negative results came in at 630 on Monday morning and I was in work before 9. I didn't feel 100% but could work and know how pressured they'd be without me.

daisychain01 · 09/01/2022 08:08

OP you may find you'll start to feel better if you show up to work. Sometimes the thought is worse than actually going in. By the end of the day you'll be glad you did the right thing. It doesn't sound as if you are ill as such otherwise you wouldn't come on here asking for people's opinions who don't know you and aren't medically trained.

Also think about your colleagues who have to cover for you.

MalbecandToast · 09/01/2022 08:10

I'm guessing there is more to it? Because its beyond histrionic to need a week to prepare to go back to work because a manager commented that 4 days was a long time ro wait for PCR results (it really is! Unheard of round here) and didn't call to ask how you are...

CiderJolly · 09/01/2022 08:12

It depends whether you’re bothered about your reputation at work. Your manager is unlikely to think highly of you if you’re taking sick days when you’re able to work.

LoudSnoringDog · 09/01/2022 08:23

Have you considered looking for another job?

As a manager I have to "mentally prepare" myself every Sunday evening for the week ahead. The most frustrating elements now for me are staff using the covid situation as an opportunity to not be at work. Not those that are genuinely ill obviously, but certainly those dragging our PCR waiting, dubious reporting of "household contacts" etc etc

MrsLargeEmbodied · 09/01/2022 08:30

what are your symptoms?

SchrodingersUnicorn · 09/01/2022 08:37

There are other illnesses than covid. OP says she is clinically extremely vulnerable so it is likely she would suffer badly with a normal cold or flu. So, if that's the case OP and you are still ill, call your manager on Monday and say it's a really nasty bug even if not covid and you aren't well enough to work. Take it day by day.
If it's that you are worried about work, then you need to address that because you can't just keep taking time off to mentally prepare. Is your job particularly high stress? Are they not doing your risk assessment for being CEV properly? Is it a toxic environment? If yes, it might be time to look for a new job.

Riverlee · 09/01/2022 08:38

Ditto to the above comments.

Ie. If you are ill, you are I’ll. if you are well, you should go back to work.

What do you mean by ‘mentally prepare’ yourself? What job do you do?

Why do you think your manager doesn’t care? Four days is a long time (my results are come back between six-eighteen hours) and saying he’ll see you next week is normal conversation.

TeddySteady · 09/01/2022 08:41

There have been some unpleasant responses on here. It seems clear to me the OP is reaching out to MN for support because she feels mentally fragile. She’s CEV, so getting covid is a big deal. For many in her situation, getting covid has felt like a potential death sentence for the past two years and she’s just spent the last week really worried it might finally have caught up with her. And I’m sure she’s still anxious about getting it going forward too.
OP, I think your anxiety is perfectly understandable and if you’ve been isolating, it will only have magnified. You may find you feel a lot better when you go back to work and are keeping busy. Often the worrying about something is a lot worse than the actual thing you’re anxious about. But if you’re really not well enough, either physically or mentally, on Monday, it’s ok to take some more time off. I do think you should approach your GP though if anxiety is interfering with your ability to cope. All the best!

JustBkind · 09/01/2022 08:50

Just to confirm that the 28 self cert runs out at the end of this month and applies to statutory sick pay only, so if your employer pays you full pay while you’re off sick, they can still request to have a Fit Note from the GP in line with their sick policy.

Sally872 · 09/01/2022 08:54

Did you say to manager "I am ill I can't go to work. Its a cough so will also need pcr" if so they should know you are unwell (although a week is normallly enough for most viral illness)

If you said "I have to get pcr so won't be in until results back" it is natural for them to assume your are well enough to work.

Time off to mentally prepare for work is what this weekend is for.

JustJustWhy · 09/01/2022 09:11

@user4533786

I have been off work sick this week whilst waiting for PCR results due to having Covid symptoms. My results took 4 days to come back and were negative. I phoned my manager to tell him my results to which he replied they took ages see you next week then. I'm still not feeling 100% maybe I will be by Monday, My manager shows no care, I'm CEV so waiting for the results and coping with the symptoms has been hard not just physically but mentally too. AIBU to phone in sick next week too? I just feel I need some time to prepare myself mentally to go back to my job Confused
Yes you are being unreasonable. Your manager is probably at the end of their rope with staffing issues. Nearly all of us have found this situation mentally difficult. If you're well, go back to work. Do your bit.
BashStreetKid · 09/01/2022 09:11

Use today to prepare, go in tomorrow.

TrashyPanda · 09/01/2022 09:20

@BashStreetKid

Use today to prepare, go in tomorrow.
This

A week to “mentally prepare” to go to work is worrying though.
How is your mental health?
Does your GP have a MH nurse you could talk too?

I had to stop working because of depression and anxiety. That was over 3 years ago. Luckily, I was able to take my pension early, because I wouldn’t be able to go back even now.

There’s every likelihood you would need another week, and then another and so on.